


sweeter

by ashbellybutton



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, akira is a b i c t h, ash has a BIG crush on eiji he writes sappy shit about it, ash shorter and alex have a band, but eiji is dating akira f, everyone just wants these two together dammit, fluff but too many curses h
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2020-07-29 02:30:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 60,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20074660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashbellybutton/pseuds/ashbellybutton
Summary: ash thought he would spent the rest of high-school alone. it was fun, his best friend was shorter, he was in a band that was doing really good and his brother was the best person in the world, it was good...then, he met eiji.ash will realize that it was going to take a lot to happen so he could at least talk to the guy with angel eyes, that sacrifices and decisions would need to happen, but if he was honest, it was all worth it.





	1. to love, to cheat and to act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ash is searching for a second of all and yut lung has a conspiracy.

when ash was five, he remembers listening to his brother reading him a poem he wrote. it was about love.

it wasn't the first time griffin read him his poems but it was the first time ash payed attention and listened carefully to the words that were slipping through his brother's mouth.

it was at that moment that ash fell for poetry. hard.

after that day, ash would beg griffin if he could read him the same one, every night before going to sleep. griffin didn't seem to mind. ash looked like he enjoyed the way his older brother pronounced difficult and big words or the way he made suspense pauses making ash _scream_ because he wanted to know what was next.

griffin just laughed, ruffled his hair and kept going.

they did that for most of ash's childhood, sometimes griffin would say a different poem to show his younger brother a new perspective about the same thing.

ash listened to all of them but it was the first poem that made him feel, _besotted_. at least that was the reason he used when asked why he took the page with that poem from griffin's journal and pasted it with glue on his wall.

griffin wrote a lot of love poems. making ash adore those more, it was every day that his brother taught him about that sentiment through pretty words or day to day situations.

ash wasn't going to lie. everything he knew about loving, _loving, _someone was thanks to griffin. even if he wouldn't admit that now that he was seventeen.

so yeah, thanks to griffin and his tremendous experiences with love ash became himself a poet. more specifically a hopeless romantic of a poet.

even if he wouldn't admit that. not even to griffin. 

but it was thanks to his poems he learned about music, he learned to play the guitar, learned how to sing and was now in a band with his best friend shorter and a new guy they met in shorter's sister restaurant, chang dai, his name is alex and was in college.

he would admit that he preferred his poems become song lyrics and silence spaces the melody. ash was completely infatuated in the way the guitar sounded in a mix of chords, he was obsessed with music, he wouldn't lie about that.

music was his true passion.

and poetry, but music was an umbrella so he didn't worry about it.

______

"yo! ash!"

ash looked behind. there was shorter running towards him, with his bass in hand, ash shaked his head. the dumbass hasn't bought a thing to hold the instrument.

"hey, shorter."

they started walking together to school. it was late, their first class was probably already starting but both of them didn't really care.

"i found a new way to play that song you wanted. the bass sounds a lot better, so don't think about leaving me behind with your loud-ass guitar!" ash barked a laugh.

"_loud-ass_? please, it's pure passion in my veins, baby." ash winked at shorter but he just rolled his eyes.

ash didn't knew that tho, shorter always wore his sunglasses but he could bet he did since he always do that when ash calls him a pet name.

or when ash was saying straight up bullshit but they wouldn't get into that now.

"so what? you told alex about it? you know he would have to change the drum beat too right?"

shorter just grumbled. now ash rolled his eyes.

"moroon."

"hey! at least i am trying to make this work while you're just making lovey-dovey eyes to okumura."

ash stopped his steps and looked at shorter, indignant.

"what? don't even try to tell me it's not true. i saw you yesterday almost DROOLING when eiji smiled to his _girlfriend_."

ash felt a pinch in his heart_. that hurted_.

shorter sighed looking at the floor. as if he would find the right words there. "look, ash. that was a dick move, sorry."

ash just shaked his head. trying to collect his thoughts and not let them fall like waterfall through his mouth.

"it's fine. i mean, it's not something new."

"tell me about it, that akira girl? his girlfriend? man isn't she obnoxious as hell, damn, don't know how eiji can stay so calm when she's literally annoying him all the time."

ash rolled his eyes but agreed. akira ibe was, truly something else.

not the, something else cool, more like something else you-just-want-to-forget-for-how-annoying-is.

"yeah, eiji must be sleeping after school, there's no way he can spend a whole day going through _that_." ash mumbled. shorter laughed out loud.

"that's _fantastic_. god-" and kept laughing. "you know-, you know, you could be good for eiji, man, just need to grow some balls."

at that ash hit him in the shoulder. he had balls thank you very much.

"aye! take those claws away from me, geez. you really can't control yourself if it's about eiji huh? have you at least talked to the guy?"

ash thought about it for a second.

"well, he did knew my name was aslan when i, accidentally stumbled near him and dropped my notebook."

shorter looked at him in shock before grinning so hard and shaking ash's shoulders.

"dude! you talked to him! when did it happen? why didn't you tell me about it?"

"it was just yesterday but super fast. like my notebook fell and he looked at me and said 'oh, sorry aslan' i was honestly ready to respond you know? like i was dreaming about the moment i could talk to him for the first time. and right when i was about to pull prince charming, fuc-, _akira_, arrived and took eiji's arm like if he was a doll and fucking left! like, what the hell?"

ash was kinda angry right now remembering yesterday. it was so so _so_ perfect. ash felt like in one of those rom-com movies he saw with shorter or griffin. when the girl gets her chance to prove the guy who she is but then the fucking evil comes and ruins everything.

ash was angry. full anger, he wanted to scream or just take out his journal and start writing fuck fuck fuck in a complete page.

he has done it before, it's therapeutic and nice.

"hold, on, hold on, hold on, calm down. you know how akira is, well i don't think you know but you have seen how she acts, right?" ash nodded. shorter continued. "i think it's so cool eiji knows your name, even if i could've told him if you let me-"

"no. i told you before i don't want help in this. i don't want to seem as a coward who can't talk for himself."

shorter looked at him expectantly but ended up nodding. "alright. so what's your next move, romeo?"

"first of all. i'm not romeo."

both of them finally arrived to school. the halls were silent letting them now everyone should be at class now. ash took his things from his locker fast and left his journal and guitar there. some kids were not cool about ash's tastes.

not like ash gave a fuck. he could cold cock them right there but he already had too many detentions last year about fights.

this year eiji okumura arrived. this year ash fell hard for him and now didn't want him to know him as a troublemaker.

more like, his true love.

"did you really just said you wanted eiji not to know you as a troublemaker but as his _true love_?"

fuck. he said it out loud. thankfully they were the only one's running late.

ash just closed his locker suddenly with books in his arms, trying to give shorter a confident look.

"and what about it?" responded ash nervously.

shorter just sniggered.

"nothing, nothing. what was second of all?" asked shorter amused.

starting to walk towards their classroom, ash smiled devilish.

"you'll see."

______

ash actually didn't have a second of all. he just didn't like the nickname because he knew romeo fucking died.

ash didn't want to fucking die. at least not yet. not now that eiji knew his name was aslan.

that was a sign of the gods. the universe, encouraging him to just grow some balls and talk to the boy of his dreams.

shorter would laugh at him when he found out ash didn't do anything in his power to get near to eiji. not like he didn't at least try.

there just was a problem that started with 'a' and finished with 'kira'.

it was break time, and ash knew shorter liked going to chang dai to eat. maybe the food was better or simply because he didn't have to pay. besides the restaurant is very close to the school so it was fine.

ash, most of the times joined shorter but there were other times where he would rather look at eiji during break, it was definitely creepy and not cool at all but he couldn't help it! eiji just looked so good today. wearing those blues jeans that made ash go crazy and a nice pastel pink shirt.

it was at the moment ash saw eiji with a clothing color pink that ash knew he was a god damn goner.

he didn't notice, while he was looking at eiji laugh about something a kid ash knew was named sing, that someone sit right by ash side, making him jump.

"_jesus fu-!_"

"i guess you get scared easily. my bad…actually no, it's your fault for drooling and not seeing your surroundings."

ash looked surprised at the guy. he thinks he have seen him before, and it clicks the moment the guy takes of his sunglasses.

yut lung lee. eiji's best friend. why was yut lung lee, eiji's best friend here? with him?

ash tried to ask but asked the most important question before.

"why are you wearing a hat, and sunglasses?"

yut lung scoffed at that and a gave a strange look at ash.

"none of your damn business."

ash just raised his eyebrows and ate another chip.

"alright. what are you doing here?"

yut lung looked at their surroundings. _extra_, ash thought. and then he got near his ear.

"i have a plan, and i need your help."

now ash looked at him in pure confusion because why in the world would yut fucking lung lee need him? ash's help?

yut lung seemed like he noticed ash's thoughts and looked at the front. his gaze pierced in what seemed the table where eiji, akira, sing and other members of the pole vault team were.

"you know who frederick arthur is?"

ash nodded. like hell he knew who arthur was.

"and i guess you must know who our dear akira ibe is right?" yut lung looked funny at ash, like if he _knew_ the reason why ash flinched quietly at the name.

"yes, why?"

"well. look at this."

yut lung showed ash from his phone that was in his lap a picture. ash had to squint his eyes because of course he forgot his glasses today.

"god, you're such an old man." yut lung cringed and put the phone closer to ash.

now ash understood and felt disgust rise.

it was a picture of akira kissing someone.

someone that didn't seem like cute and angelic eiji.

someone more like…

"arthur." ash hissed and yut lung nodded putting his phone back in his pocket.

"don't tell anyone, your hear me?"

ash didn't payed attention at that. "when did it happened?"

"these is from last thursday, i have seen them together before, like ever since school started, but now i have proof."

so akira had been cheating on eiji for, a month.

ash felt completely sick.

_what the fuck. what the actual fuck. _

why did fucking akira ibe thought cheating on eiji was a good idea? why did she even think about it? why is she still doing it?

"what, what is gonna happen? how did you found out?" ash was completely shocked

of course, a part of him wanted to celebrate because there was a very slim chance of eiji noticing him.

but not like this. ash definitely didn't want eiji to be hurted like this.

what the fuck was akira even thinking?

"i was leaving my house when i saw them. akira leaves near me and they weren't even subtle, making out outside of her house like if they were in a cheap motel." yut lung groaned. "_disgusting_."

"and you haven't told eiji?"

ash could see yut gulp.

"no."

"fucking hell." murmured ash.

he looked at eiji who was looking at akira so adorably, in that moment ash knew that if yut lung didn't told him what was going on he would think that akira was making eiji happy and that would be enough to ash.

but not anymore, god. ash wanted to tear akira apart from eiji's arm and never let her near him again.

"i thought of a plan. and you can help."

ash glared at him, how in the world would ash help yut lung with this conspiracy?

"what do you want me to do?"

"details later, just answer. are you in or not?"

ash actually thought about it.

he definitely wanted eiji to be happy. but yut lung could be shady and ash didn't knew how everything would end up.

but one thing was for sure. akira cheating on eiji wasn't cool. not fucking cool at all. besides maybe eiji would finally look at him.

so ash smiled at yut lung who smiled back.

looks like ash did have a second of all.

"im in."

______

yut lung should give himself a gold medal for putting up with everything he had to deal for eiji okumura.

he wouldn't lie, he had his suspicious the moment eiji introduced akira to him.

it was on the first week on school after summer finished. eiji was the new kid and from the second he arrived to that high school that particularly, _everyone_, was head over heels for the guy.

yut lung wouldn't blame them. eiji okumura is cute as fuck.

he decided he would be friends with him. it wasn't really hard and yut lung was taken aback the moment eiji started talking to him like if they have been friends forever.

yut lung was even more surprised because he didn't mind being with eiji. it was really nice to have someone to talk to. after the last period on the first day, both of them decided to become best friends.

and after that, it was so amazing, god, yut lung adored having someone who didn't care about what was told about him, eiji was a really fucking nice guy, that's why yut lung was in shocked the moment he was introduced to someone like akira ibe.

yut lung believe in the idea that eiji could do so much better. he deserved _so_ much better.

apparently, eiji and akira went way back. they knew each other when akira's uncle, shunichi ibe, another really sweet guy, had his gallery and a picture of eiji pole vaulting was there. then ibe introduced them and they became friends.

yut lung have never seen that picture for many times he has asked eiji to show him, but beggars can't be choosers so he had to deal with it.

after eiji and his family moved to new york because his mother had a job opportunity, he stopped talking to akira. that was in june but then a month later shunichi arrived too since he always had work there. this time he took akira with him, looks like she was gonna stay there for her last year of high school.

it was apparently on that summer that eiji and akira started dating.

everything sounded completely romantic the way eiji told yut lung. he could bet that akira was the luckiest girl for having such a gentleman of a boyfriend.

even yut lung thought that akira would also be truly nice when he meet her for how eiji talked about her.

he didn't expected for akira to roll her eyes, mumble a vague 'nice to meet you too' and ask eiji if they could leave because she was hungry.

trash. absolute trash.

he wasn't surprised at all the moment he saw akira with arthur. his expectations for her were low but _fuck_, he didn't thought it was going to be that low.

he tried to talk to eiji about it, but every time he was about to show the picture akira would arrive and take eiji wherever she wanted.

seemed like akira had an idea of what was going on so yut lung thought about a plan to show eiji who he's girlfriend was.

it wasn't a crazy plan or anything, but he did need someone. yut lung didn't want to admit that, he really didn't wanted to but oh well.

the things he did for his best friend's happiness.

that's why he was in front of chang dai. a restaurant he has seen before but have never entered a look how's inside.

aslan 'ash' callenreese told him they could meet there after school so that yut lung could explain everything. it was a good idea since akira was a complete lunatic and could perceive the people that was bad talking about her.

or that's what she told him when she saw him talk to ash, yut lung was shocked thinking he could be under the radar with his sunglasses and hat.

looks like no.

"yut lung!"

looking at a corner of the place was ash waving like an idiot at him. yut lung sighed and walked there to sit right in front of him.

"well, what are we going to do?"

yut lung opened his mouth to start explaining when he heard a loud screech and a glass fell.

"what the fuck shorter?"

"what the fuck ash?"

both guys looked at each other seemed like they were having a telepathic conversation. yut lung coughed and gave a glance to both.

"why is yut lung here, with you, in my restaurant?"

"this is not your restaurant." said another voice, yut lung looked behind and there was a girl looking at shorter with a raised eyebrow.

shorter just smiled.

"heh, sorry nadia."

"if you're gonna work, work. or sit there and have no pay." nadia left and ash laughed making shorter hit him in the neck.

"hey!"

"are we gonna talk about it or i'm leaving." yut lung declared looking at both dumbasses.

_is he really asking them for help for god's sake. _

"what, what are you talking about?" asked shorter sounding worried.

"uh, can i tell him?" asked ash lamely. yut lung rolled his eyes and nod. the more the better if he was honest.

after ash told a very in shock shorter everything, he rushed to the kitchen and came without his working attire.

looks like he decided to stay and not get paid. yut lung smirked at that.

"hey man, if there's something i can help so that eiji can leave that bitch i'm in." shorter said seeing yut lung's face.

"that's fine. now let me talk." he didn't want to waste any more time.

"i tried showing eiji the picture since i had it. every damn time, that bitch stopped me and took eiji with her so the first step is: separate them. it sounds a lot easier but believe me, that girl never leave eiji's side just on a small period of time, that's when i saw her with arthur."

"when is that?" asked ash.

yut lung smiled. "pole vault practice. even then sometimes akira is there but she's not there to support eiji."

shorter looked like he knew where he was going. "she's there for arthur."

"bingo. eiji gets tired after practice and usually doesn't see akira till the next day. after that he goes home, does whatever the hell he does and that's when i need you. the fact that shorter and you are together in a band works."

"you know about our band?!" shorter exclaimed cheerful and yut lung nodded.

"have never seen you play live but heard you guys were good."

both ash and shorter seemed proud about that.

"doesn't mean it's true, i have to see it for myself… when is your next gig?"

"friday, here, at seven." ash informed.

yut lung nod. that was in four days, soon, but perfect. he couldn't wait any longer.

"alright. let's talk about eiji. " both boys nodded. ash seemed shinier about it. "eiji is a, how can i say this…when he likes someone, he commits. he isn't one to play with someone's feelings and i'm sorry, ash, but it's a fact he really likes akira. can't say love but he will definitely be heart broken, hard, when he finds out."

ash's happiness left and he looked down.

"that's why i asked for _your_ help."

"why?"

yut lung smiled shortly. "i can see you be someone good for him."

ash looked at him with wide eyes.

"are you serious?"

"deadass serious. i could have asked to someone else, there's a lot of people attracted to eiji in school you're not the only one. but you are different. i can see that you like him but have never had the guts to say that, this ash, is your chance to do something about it. "

ash looked at shorter in complete shock. shorter was in shock. even yut lung felt shocked because he said that out loud.

"you're definitely not what i expected to be." ash observed.

"don't think this means anything, callenreese. im just doing this for eiji."

ash smiled. "thank you."

"so what are we gonna do then?" shorter insisted.

"ash, tomorrow you will have to talk to eiji. talk. to. him. it's not that hard just go straight to him and say a hi for all i care, just talk, believe me it will flow everything nicely after that."

ash nodded but yut lung could see him get nervous about it. he would be too if this was his crush they were talking about.

"got it. just talk?"

"charm him, talk to him, walk with him to classes, come here with him, i don't know! like i say just start the conversation and do everything you wanted since the beginning."

yut lung could see ash daydream about eiji, he was so loud and looked so smitten, yut lung wanted to fucking throw up.

"what if i, uh, i, uh-"

"_kiss_ him?" shorter suggested.

ash blushed so hard. "fuck! shorter no! what the _hell_."

"i don't care what you do unless you hurt him. still don't know if he would kiss you back, even if he knew akira is cheating on him he would feel ashamed, he isn't one who just kisses someone just for the sake of it."

"damn, is he really that hard on himself?" shorter asked.

yut lung nodded with a sigh. "sadly. but well. what type of people come to your gigs?"

"what do you mean with type?" shorter raised an eyebrow.

"as in, arthur type or-"

"fuck no, he has never come to see us. thank god we wouldn't even let him." ash responded.

"what happened with you two? i saw you last year fight a lot."

ash took ten seconds to answer. "he wasn't cool with some, _things_."

yut lung could see it was complicated so he didn't press about it. god knows he would act the same if asked about something personal.

"alright. the plan is you get closer to eiji, tell him about your gig next week, he will, hopefully come and after you guys finish i will show him the picture and if we jinx it, maybe then eiji and akira will break up. yay."

"why should we wait till friday? wouldn't eiji be mad you didn't told him sooner?" shorter asked carefully.

fuck. eiji could get mad.

"hum. i may know eiji well but honestly i don't know exactly how he could react, he may be the sweetest human ever but boy he could be angry."

"i don't know eiji at all but if anything he could be glad you told him, sooner or later." ash said thoughtful.

"that's true. but it's fine, even eiji knows he had been busy with pole vaulting, his dad and helping ibe-san."

"what happened to his dad?"

"who is ibe-san?"

shorter and ash asked at the same time. yut lung wondered if they could actually talk telepathic. it would be cool if he did that with eiji.

"not my places to say. he's akira's uncle and took some pictures of eiji back in japan. he now works for him as an assistant."

"akira's uncle? well, this is definitely gonna be hard." ash muttered.

"it will be fine if it has to be fine. don't think too much or else you won't be able to talk to eiji, understood?"

"huh, yes mom." ash chuckled while yut lung just rolled his eyes.

"and what will i do? i'm not part of the plan!"

"that's because you joined late." yut lung retorted back. "and you will have to put enough of a show for eiji, this would be his first concert after all."

both guys screamed. "_WHAT?_"

"and mine so you better do something cool."

"_WHAT_?"

nadia arrived and hit both with a towel in the head.

"you're scaring my clients leave or shut up."

"sorry nadia." they said in unison.

yut lung chuckled. it wasn't that bad to talk to them after all. they seemed chill and random at the same time, he couldn't admit he liked them already.

"that's it. questions?"

"don't you think it's necessary we have the picture to?" shorter wondered.

"_god_, no. it's safe with me you don't have to worry about that."

"i trust in you with that." ash said pointing at his phone.

"and i trust you that you will treat eiji kindly, amazingly an astonishing alright?"

ash smirked. "i wouldn't want you expect anything less."

yut lung smiled. "good, anything else?"

"if akira is at practice tomorrow how am i going to talk to eiji?" huh, he didn't thought about that.

"i assumed you could find a way. you're ash lynx after all am i right?" yut lung smirked.

ash didn't seem fazed by this, he still looked nervous.

"look, don't you have classes together?"

"math and literature." ash answered fast, too fast. "but akira is in both."

"i can help there." shorter said unusually quiet. "i'm in the same literature class. i can try to talk to akira and let ash talk to eiji."

"do that. sadly im one year behind so i cannot help during classes, but i'm joining you guys to eiji's practice and that way no one would jump to conclusions on why you are there, yes?"

both shorter and ash nodded.

"alright we'll do that." ash said, more like to himself than the other two.

"oh! let's do a groupchat! yut lung pass your number."

yut lung passed his phone to shorter who took it then seconds later yut lung was in _'gonna get you out of there, eiji'_. yut lung snorted, hard.

"perfect." then took his bag and left money to pay his water. "i'm leaving, see you tomorrow."

he hears both guys said their goodbyes and left chang dai with a sigh. he hopes he was doing the right thing if not, he didn't know what else to do.

_god, eiji, forgive me if i make you feel worse, i just want to help you_

he knew ash could do it. the guy must be kind of a coward if talking about eiji but he seemed genuine about his feelings, yut lung noticed a glow in those jade eyes he has never seen on akira's dark eyes when mentioning the name eiji.

besides they had shorter too and yut lung knew he was known for being very down to earth, he just hoped akira would let shorter talk to her without eiji. she was so clingy it was horrendous knowing she was also cheating on him.

but the start of everything was on ash's hands. yut lung prayed so that the guy could grow a pair and talk to eiji. he had to.

yut lung sighed, he couldn't wait for friday to arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for too many fucks, hope you liked the first chapter! :)


	2. just do it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ash says fuck it and alex remembers the first time he saw banana fish perform.

that ash was nervous was a complete understatement.

shorter tried to talk to him the moment yut lung left chang dai. trying to reassure his best friend that everything was going to be okay.

ash really wanted to believe him, but still couldn't help thinking _'what if'._

what if akira doesn't let him talk to eiji? what if eiji isn't interested? what if eiji looks at him in disgust or worse, hate, when he finds out ash knew sooner about akira and arthur?

his stomach started hurting. ash wanted to go the restroom but his next and last class was literature and that's where everything was going to happen, he couldn't go now.

_fuck fuck fuck fuck-_

"ash calm down."

ash looked suddenly at shorter who appeared in front of his chair.

"i-"

"try to breath first alright?" shorter interrupted him but ash just started breathing, slowly.

it took a little but ash could calm down and start breathing normally. "good, want water?"

"no."

"then, let's go to literature, it's getting late." shorter started getting up but ash stopped his tracks by putting his hand in his arm.

"i-, what am i going to say?"

"are you freaking out about eiji?" asked shorter calmly.

ash still winced a little. "i don't want to blow this up."

"and you won't. you know why?"

ash stared at him.

"because this is the chance you have been wanting since you saw eiji for the first time. because you are a good person who deserves a cute guy like him, because you're ash fucking lynx, and if there's something ash _fucking_ lynx could do is talk to the boy he likes. because he's brave, amazing and _not_ a coward. you heard me?"

ash simply stared at him. perplexed and with cero words to respond.

so he just hugged shorter.

"thanks man." ash murmured in his breath, he could feel shorter smile.

"it's my job to boost your confidence up when talking about cute guys. so what? are you gonna chicken out or you'll go get him?"

ash didn't knew where he found the confidence to smirk but was so glad it arrived.

"let's go."

shorter whistled loud and jumped excited.

"_fuck_ yes ash! that's the _fucking sp-_"

"why the _fuck_ are you two taking so _long_?"

ash looked surprised at a very angry yut lung who only glanced at him with pure fire.

"uh, we were just leaving right? shorter?"

"yeah yeah, let's go!"

yut lung rolled his eyes and joined the walk to the classroom.

"huh, yut lung, you don't have class?"

"i do but i didn't saw neither of you in the classroom when i was walking to the restroom. i needed to find you and see if you guys chicken out or what."

shorter nodded. "we didn't. just needed to help our lynx here, boost his claws is kinda hard you know?"

yut lung stopped his tracks. "no i don't. go to the classroom and talk to eiji, i'll see you after school."

ash just noticed they arrived to the literature class, thankfully they weren't that late since the teacher hasn't arrived.

"yes sir, see you." said shorter and pushing ash they entered the classroom.

no one paid them attention. only a few people said hi to only shorter. predictable if ash was honest.

he looked at his left and there were eiji and akira, none of the pole vault team was with them so it shouldn't be hard to sit near the couple.

_bingo_. ash thought looking at two free chairs that were behind the couple. he gave a look to shorter who was talking to a kid and seemed to understand what was his next step.

ash took a last nervous breath and nodded. he could do this. he could do this.

ash couldn't believe he was _that_ scared. his hands were even sweaty and he felt kinda disgusted about it. _sigh_, the things that happened to him for the guy he liked.

he looked at eiji and akira. she was talking about something that seemed to bore eiji by seeing his almost closed eyes, ash smirked a little.

_he could do this. he could fuck-_

stopping the cheers for himself, he looked at shorter who didn't hesitate and walked to the couple with a bright and very characteristic smile of his.

"eiji! akira! how are you doing?" shorter asked kinda loudly.

ash started walking silently towards them and giving a small look at shorter who looked back and nodded tight, he sat down behind eiji.

he has never been this close to him it was crazy. he could see that eiji's hair was so fluffy, as he had to fight the urge to touch it, trying to control himself he looked at shorter who now was sitting beside akira with an arm around her shoulders.

ash looked at eiji thinking he would seem taken aback or worried but only saw a calm and very soft look with an adorable small smile.

he wanted to just stare at him the whole class as if eiji was the prettiest painting or purest sky. ash couldn't decide, but forced himself to look at what was shorter and akira were saying.

"so you haven't seen that movie? dude! it's amazing, made me tear up a few times if i'm honest." said shorter with a fake smile.

ash wanted to laugh, the bastard was really good at pretending to have a nice chat with akira, as if he didn't want to grab her ugly hair put a gum on it so that akira had to cry and buzzcut all of it.

it wasn't actually ugly and that was kinda mean but ash felt the desire to think whatever the fuck he wanted.

shorter gave him a small glance, apparently he noticed he haven't tried to talk to eiji. ash felt ashamed, wanting to slap himself because what the fuck was he waiting for.

eiji seemed bored as hell, he even yawned twice in a row.

he could do this. he needed to stop being such a pussy, _god_. shorter would do it, yut lung would do it, _shia_ _labeouf_ would do it.

so ash had to do it. he _could_ do it.

"h-"

"aslan? i didn't knew you were in this class!"

_fuck_. eiji really beat him to it. ash wanted to punch himself.

and of course he wouldn't notice ash, the boy only looked at fucking akira.

but he didn't say that. ash felt a lot more joyful now that he had eiji's warm brown eyes at him_. at him_.

"ha, yeah, i usually sit in the back but, i thought it would be cool sit here today?" ash said like a complete dork.

the last thing seemed more like a question, he wanted to slap himself right there.

"it's good! i actually wanted to talk to you before so it's alright." eiji assured with such a breathtaking smile, ash coughed hard feeling like he lost all oxygen.

eiji's wide eyes stared at him, worried? was eiji really worried for _ash_? _coughing_? _worried_?

"do you need water? i think i have water hold on!"

ash raised his hands completely adoring the way eiji acted. "i'm alright, just a cough."

"oh thank god, i got worried!" eiji giggled. he _giggled_.

ash thought he was in paradise.

"what do you wanted to talk about?" ash asked remembering eiji's words.

"oh! you have a band yes?"

_holy fuck_. eiji knew he had a band. eiji _fucking_ okumura knew he had a band. holy fuck holy fuck holy-

"ah yes, we're not very big or anything actually." ash addressed. "but it's fun, shorter plays bass and i play the guitar and sing. a guy named alex joined the band during summer, he's the drummer and he's so good! he plays very loud and complements us so well so it's amazing, playing i mean."

ash noticed he rambled, but eiji kept his smile of _adoration_? all the time, it was strange and not what he expected but _loved_ it.

"you sound proud talking about it, it's cute."

HOLD ON-

did eiji okumura just told him…cute? _cute_??

** _c u t e?_ **

ash didn't coughed this time, just straight up blushed with shock in his jade eyes. what the fuck.

"oh! sorry! i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable!" eiji apologized quickly, regret in his face.

"no no, you didn't made me uncomfortable at all! just shocked." ash laughed lamely rubbing his hair nervously.

"oh, okay, yut lung told me a little about you when i asked him who were you, i guess i just didn't want to ruin this." eiji admitted softly.

_like roses! _he thought at seeing eiji's cheeks tint in a dusty pink.

but also, what? yut lung talked about him to eiji? fuck fuck fuck fuck.

"hope it wasn't my criminal record he told you about haha." ash joked but eiji's already wide eyes grew more, ash thought it was impossible.

"criminal record?"

"oh, i was joking, just don't listen to me." ash said regretting everything. an idiot.

"oh!" eiji chuckled. "it's fine, really! i'm just kinda dumb about this, i'm still not so good with english."

"you sound good, very adorable." ash complemented with a wink. he didn't knew where the fuck _that_ came from but didn't regret it if he was honest.

eiji raised an eyebrow but still blushed just like ash did.

"adorable huh, gonna keep that in mind."

the teacher arrived and made everyone stop what they were doing and ash wanted to scream hard because how dare she arrive just when eiji seemed like he liked ash?

not _like-like_, but, like, ash could see that and was grateful for when yut lung told him that talking to eiji was easy. besides ash's gay panics, he thought everything was going smoothly.

thankfully eiji knew about the band so asking him to come to the gig wouldn't be that hard.

but hell no, the teacher had to come and put them to work in silence so ash had to wait.

he was in the middle of writing a poem when a pink paper appeared suddenly in his book, ash looked at front and there was eiji with a small smile and turned around after pointing at the paper.

ash grinned. he felt like in a movie and opened the paper, there eiji asked him a simple _'wyd'_.

he thought what to respond. eiji didn't seem someone who would make fun of him writing poems besides he knew ash played so he should have an idea that ash also wrote.

so he wrote back, _'A poem, you?'_ and threw the paper back at eiji.

he could see eiji smile from behind and that melted ash's heart. he couldn't believe he was talking to eiji.

eiji threw the paper back.

_'thats so cool omg!! nothing tbh i didn't payed attention at what the teacher asked' _

ash laughed in silence and wrote back.

_'That's bad. You'll get bad grades for not paying attention_.'

eiji's response was almost immediate if it wasn't for the fact they're were talking in a piece of paper.

_'boo hoo i rather talk to you'_

ash felt himself blushing at that and looked at eiji who was already looking at him with that damn angelic smile.

ash was a goner. a complete fucking goner.

_'Me too.'_ was the only thing he could say back after throwing the paper right at eiji's face.

the pout eiji made was the most precious thing ash have ever seen. he just wanted to grab his cheeks and give him a fucking kiss. but they just started talking today and just like yut lung say, eiji was most probably not kissing back.

_'wanna keep talking! r u staying after school or r u leaving??_'

_'Shorter and I are staying for a while, why?' _

_'wanna come to my training today? don't know if u know but i pole vault, it's not boring i promise, i also have cookies…'_

this was perfect. now he didn't have to arrive awkwardly at his training with yut lung and shorter because, eiji _invited_ _him_! _him_!

_'Are you trying to bribe me with cookies so that I go see you practice?' _

_'uh yes???' _

ash grinned so hard, griffin would be shocked.

_'Okay. I'll go.' _

after that last throw of paper the class finished. eiji got up rapidly and grabbed his books and bag and then looked at ash.

"i have to get going, to change and all. are you really coming?" eiji asked hopeful.

ash nodded, eiji grinned and nodded too.

he was so cute ash wanted to _yell_.

"perfect! see you there!" eiji was about to start walking but stopped and grabbed something in his bag and came back to where ash was.

"so that you don't think i was lying." eiji said with a wink and gave ash a small pack of six oreos.

he couldn't believe eiji. is he even real life? or this is just a dream? IT EVEN HAD HIS NAME IN TAPE. _GOD. _eiji just couldn't stop being cuter!

ash didn't know how to answer but eiji didn't gave him the chance. eiji looked up at akira who was waiting for him, he smiled with adoration. akira gave him a brief kiss on the cheek and both left the class holding hands.

ash wanted to die right there. the fact that eiji talked to him didn't change that he was still akira's boyfriend.

ash grabbed an oreo and ate it furiously.

"how did it go?" shorter asked waiting for ash and trying to grab one but ash slapped his hand. "i- _ugh_ let's go."

both of them left the classroom in silence and went to their locker to grab their instruments. they had practice that day.

"i forgot akira existed." ash admitted with a smile, shorter barked a laugh.

"god, i _wish_! talking to her is exhausting man, not because she talks a lot but she gets bored easily and there were thousands of times where she was going to turn around to look at eiji but every time i stopped her and started to talk about anything else. ex _fucking_ hausting. i need water. "

"she must have thought you have a thing for her." ash winked at him, shorter groaned.

"she could only _dream_." ash now laughed. "so? tell me! i could see you talk to eiji before the teacher arrived."

"ugh that bitch. apparently yut lung told eiji about me and when he was going to explain she came with work, i hate her."

"oh my god! so eiji did knew about you! and here you thought he was that far up akira's ass." shorter teased. ash punched him in the arm. "dude stop!"

"that's for saying something so, _gross_." ash explained. "but yes. he was so easy to talk to dammit! i fell like, a hundred times harder than i thought i would. he just has that power you know?"

"yeah ash, cute boys will be the cause of why the apocalypse happened."

"he also invited me to his training today!"

"holy fuck, seems like we have the cards in our favor now." shorter whistled. "that's weird."

"yeah, but fuck it, sometimes we should have them in our favor, it's not like we're the bad guys here."

"true that."

the rest of the walk to the place where, not only the pole vaulting team but most of the athletes trained, was just ash babbling about eiji and what happened.

he was glad when yut lung sat next to them a few minutes later and demanded what happened in literature class.

ash thought he seemed annoying but shorter reassured him it was fine, apparently this wasn't normal so everyone there enjoyed the way ash expressed his infatuation towards the cute japanese pole vaulter.

who looked at them at a point of the training with shock in those dreamy eyes. maybe because he saw his best friend talk with shorter and ash, but he only smiled and waved a peace sign with a grin and kept going with his practice.

"wait, yut lung, what did you tell eiji about me?" ash asked turning all of his attention towards the sixteen year old who was watching eiji.

"looks like he have seen you before, but didn't known how to start a conversation since you have this _don't-look-at-me-or-i'll-throw-you-my-fist_ kind of face so i told the basics. you're aslan callenreese, people call you ash, you're a smart-ass who gets into fights but also plays in a band. that's it. "

shorter laughed, ash just looked in disbelief.

"what the _fuck_ yut lung! thought we were friends!" it was now yut lung's time to laugh, hard.

"please! _as if!_ " he hissed. "besides i didn't say something mean or anything."

"you told him i was a _smart-ass_ who gets into _fights_!"

"it's true tho." shorter said quietly.

"fuck off." ash demanded and put an oreo in shorter's mouth, that would shut him up.

"still, the thing that made eiji's eyes spark was the fact that you were in a band not the others so you're good." yut lung rolled his eyes. "you're very dramatic you know that right?"

"shut up." ash said but smiled a little at the fact that eiji's eyes _'sparked'_ when he knew ash was in a band. _god,_ he adored him so much.

yut lung smirked but stayed quiet.

"so what's next?" shorter asked after that long pause and finishing his cookie.

"wait for eiji." yut lung answered. "and _you_ are going to ask him if you could walk him home." yut lung said to ash.

ash just gulped, hard.

"what? you didn't invited him to the gig so you have to."

"can i go too?" wondered shorter looking at yut lung who seemed confused by the question.

"i guess? you have band practice today right?" responded yut lung and shorter grinned.

"fantastic."

"okay but did you forgot the part where yut lung said, walk eiji home? doesn't, doesn't akira go with him? like, ever?" ash questioned rapidly.

"calm down, jesus." yut lung breathed. "no, akira doesn't walk with eiji, only when she goes to his house but recently…_actually_, since that disgusting make out session with arthur last thursday, she hasn't gone to his house so beats me. she won't walk with him today"

"are you sure?"

"yes ash i'm sure."

"cool cool cool." he muttered nervously.

why was he so nervous god dammit.

"from what you said about how you talk to eiji, seems like he likes talking to you so believe me it _will_ be fine." shorter said to ash who noticed him fidget.

"yeah yeah, it will be fine." ash repeated. it _will_ be fine.

"do you always have to boost up ash's confidence?" yut lung teased making both of them roll their eyes.

"it's called friendship, yut lung, something i think you must have with eiji." shorter defended.

"i don't have to calm his nerves like _that_." yut lung sighed.

"still think you should try it once in a while, it doesn't hurt and always make the other smile."

ash nodded. "he's right. even if sometimes it's embarrassing, you just need that reassurance, i bet eiji would like you do that."

ash was completely sure if he and eiji could get close he would definitely talk to eiji whenever he didn't felt good about something.

but this wasn't about ash so he shut up.

"i guess." was only what yut lung said and that was it.

the rest of the practice was spent, for ash, admiring eiji, writing small haikus about him and eating those damn oreos. the way he saw eiji fly… it wasn't just breathtaking, ash felt like looking at an ethereal creature for the first time. he loved it so much he decided he would come see eiji as many times as he can.

when it finished eiji went straight to the showers and yut lung told them they should wait outside so they went.

"do i look good?" shorter teased looking at yut lung's phone camera because he was checking his make up.

yut lung rolled his eyes and snapped a picture.

"no, you look ugly." he said while looking at the photo.

ash snorted and shorter pouted.

"dickhead. you wish you look as good as me."

"ha! in your _fucking_ dreams."

yut lung and shorter kept insulting each other while ash waited biting his nails, it didn't took a long time, eiji left the showers and waved at them with a smile when he spotted them.

"yue! shorter! aslan!"

"act cool alright?" yut lung commanded and both of the nodded.

"hey eiji! how are you?" shorter asked him when he was right in front of them.

"ugh, tired but it was a good practice, and you?" eiji responded giving ash a small smile.

ash couldn't help but smile back.

"amazing! heard you finally met our lynx here." eiji looked at him confused. "uh, ash, aslan, we call him ash, lynx."

"oh, _oh_! yeah! haha sorry, like i told aslan im still bad with english." eiji looked at ash with a soft smile and then it turned to a smirked. "did the cookies work?"

ash smirked back. "you mean, when you gave them to me just so that i come see you? of course, _darling_." ash winked at him and now eiji blushed.

"well, i'm gonna leave now." yut lung announced interrupting ash and eiji's moment.

"noo! yue! who's gonna walk me home?" eiji asked with a pout.

"you ungrateful whiny bitch! you have not only one but two! big boys in front who can do that." yut lung snarled, eiji sighed and rolled his eyes.

eiji looked at both shorter and ash. "uh, would you like walking me home? it's not that far, i just don't enjoy going alone."

"sure!" ash answered fast, eiji smiled sweetly at him.

"perfect! see you tomorrow eiji, text me when you're in your house." yut lung hugged eiji, gave a glance to the other two and left.

"shorter are you coming too?" eiji asked when they started walking out of the school and into the street.

"yeah! we have band practice today and-"

"YOU HAVE BAND PRACTICE TODAY?" eiji literally shouted and stopped walking.

ash was surprised but smiled hard, he adored eiji every second a lot more. "yeah!"

"that's so cool! oh my god! sorry if i said that so loud but god! i love music so so much." eiji grinned and started walking again.

"me too dude! it's honestly amazing, you can come to today's practice." shorter offered. ash was about to hit his arm but realized, it _was_ a good idea.

"aw! i would love to!" eiji said with a sad smile. "but i can't, i have to help my mom with taking care of my little sister and then we'll go visit my dad so, maybe another time?"

"yeah that's fine! you're invited whenever ash wants!" shorter teased and this time ash hit him in the arm hard. "fuck you dude!"

eiji laughed softly and they kept walking.

"is your dad okay?" ash wondered even if he knew it was none of his business but he saw a flash of sadness pass through eiji's eyes the moment he mentioned him.

eiji took some seconds to respond. "he's getting better." was what he just said and smiled at him. "but thank you for asking."

"no-no problem."

shorter elbowed ash softly, oh, yeah he had something else to ask.

"uh, eiji?"

"yeah?"

"we, we i mean, shorter and i, and alex but alex is not here haha so just us…" ash could see shorter's piercing eyes staring at him because _what the fuck was he doing? _

"ah, yes?" eiji asked confused.

ash swallowed hard. "we have a gig this friday, we hope you can come? to the gig, it's not that long but it would be cool? seeing you there?"

eiji smiled with those pretty wide eyes. "of course! text me the details yes? this would be my first concert ever so it's exciting!"

ash tried to stop himself for dancing so he made a one small awkward jump, why? not even he could answer that. "cool! pass me your number so i can tell you all the information."

eiji took his phone out of his short and gave it to ash.

ash couldn't believe he had now eiji's phone in his hands.

_'stop acting weird'_ was what shorter's glance said and ash had to slap his brain to keep working.

he and shorter couldn't believe he had a 200+ iq since he was very pretty dumb dealing with eiji but oh well, ash passed his number and saved himself as 'aslan' and gave the phone back.

"cool! i'll do my best to attend!"

perfect. now that his part of the plan was kinda finished ash felt more relaxed, after this he just had to keep talking to eiji and hopefully become friends? ash wanted to add 'boy' there but he sadly had to wait more time for that to even be a consideration.

after five minutes they arrived to eiji's street, ash looked at his phone. they still had twenty minutes till band practice.

"so eiji, how's akira?" shorter asked stopping when they arrived at the front of eiji's house.

ash's heart stopped beating for three seconds.

what. the. actual. fuck.

"oh, she's great! we're going out on sunday, it has been a while since we had a date." eiji smiled with tinted cheeks.

ash wanted to coo at how cute that was, but seeing the reason those roses appeared was thanks to akira? _fuck no._

shorter gave a faster glance at ash who tried his best to swallow his words and payed attention to eiji.

"oh, why's that?" ash asked carefully.

"well, she has been busy." eiji put a hair behind his ear. ash prayed for the day he could do that. "she and i work for her uncle, ibe-san. she's a model though and told me she has been doing photoshoots since last week i think, she hasn't showed me the pictures but i bet she looks stunning." eiji smiled to himself.

ash wanted to punch himself.

"wow, that's, that's awesome." shorter said. "what do you do with, ibe-san?"

"uh, im his assistant! just started this summer but i really like photography! maybe i would study that in college, it would be nice." eiji said in deep thought.

"well i bet, pole vaulter or photographer would look good on you." shorter said with a smile that eiji returned.

"i don't think you get a title for pole vaulter." eiji giggled. "but yeah! it-it would look good."

"you can get an olympic medal." ash added. "just put the video of shia labeouf on repeat and you will be fine, talking about pole vaulting or photography, both are amazing."

eiji looked weirdly at ash. "shi-shia la-labeouf?" _oh no. _

ash knew nobody was perfect. not even eiji okumura as perfect. but eiji _not knowing_ that video? ash had to do something.

so he did. he knew shorter would hunt him for life, he knew everyone would remember this embarrassing moment, he knew eiji would probably never want to talk to him again.

but ash had to recite that video! he just had to!

so he did. _fuck everything,_ he thought. he started screaming the motivational speak, even looking at different places, making hand gestures and doing _that_ stretch he knew damn well.

ash could see eiji grinning and laughing so hard, he looked at ash with those angel eyes in shock but smiled every time he would scream _'do it!'_

shorter? shorter was lying in eiji's house front yard with tears in his cheeks and loud laughs leaving his mouth.

_this was going to history books_, ash thought. coming to the final and giving the sky a last look before knowing the _hell_ he was going to deal with his best friend and the guy he liked.

_jesus christ_, ash was the most stupid person in the whole world for thinking this was a good idea.

but it really was. eiji's face was worth every single second of narrating that inspirational video griffin once showed ash when he told him he wanted to learn to play the guitar.

was this ash lynx legacy? perhaps, if he was honest, he didn't seem to mind.

"do it! just do it!" ash ended and made a bow.

eiji and shorter just kept laughing, both of them now in the grass floor.

it took more than five minutes where ash sat down and just stared at them with a pout, hoping they would eventually stop.

while doing that he looked at eiji's house, it was a lot bigger than ash's he could bet. there was also a swing in the tree like the one he had in his house where michael would be all the time.

ash wondered if eiji used it or only his little sister did.

there weren't cars outside so ash guessed eiji's mom was working, he wondered where was his sister? was she waiting for eiji? did she saw ash give that performance? right now ash didn't care that much.

shorter was the first one to talk."you ash lynx are doing fan _fucking_ tastic."

ash rolled his eyes and threw grass and shorter who howled and threw more at him. eiji just laughed and sat down.

he gave his phone a glance when he received a message.

** _alex 50 eggs: where are you and shorter?_ **

fuck. band practice.

"shorter! we have to go!" ash said trying to lift his best friend.

"aw man! i was just starting getting comfortable."

eiji got up alone and removed a tear from laughing off of his cheek.

"god, aslan! that was, that was amazing." eiji smiles breathless and giggled. "thank you so much i promise i'll do it, to whatever the fuck i want."

"that's the spirit!" shorter shouted. "high five!"

eiji grinned and high fived shorter then looked at ash. "high five? for shia labeouf?"

ash grinned back and high fived, both of them looking at each others eyes completely dumbfounded they didn't notice when their hands closed and held each other.

eiji with a blush, broke the eye contact and left ash's hands.

ash didn't want to admit he felt cold afterwards.

"i'll never forget this." eiji whispered softly.

"_yeah_, neither will i." responded ash in the same tone.

"and i! fuck! ash! i will tell griffin and basically everyone about this." joined shorter ruining the sappy mood.

ash was glad because if he didn't he wouldn't stop staring at eiji.

"griffin?" eiji asked.

"my big brother." ash rolled his eyes. "i'll trust in you that you won't tell anyone."

eiji crossed his heart. "never."

ash smiled again. and remembered alex was waiting for them. _fuck_.

"well, see you tomorrow, eiji."

"see you tomorrow, aslan." eiji smiled and waved.

"bye, eijiii!" shorter yelled making eiji chuckle.

"bye, shorteeer!"

ash waited for eiji to enter to his house, when he did ash looked back at shorter who was already running. "hey! wait!"

"no-oh! idiots in love who recites shia labeouf speech doesn't deserve to be waited for!"

"fuck you! you loved it!"

"damn right i did!" shorter laughed loud. "i can't believe you did that _oh my god_, ash! that was, that was one of the few times you left your comfort zone, i must admit i feel like a proud best friend."

ash didn't want to admit but he was pretty fucking proud of himself too.

"well let's see if you don't forget it cause i will never remember that to you again."

shorter pout changed fast into a smirk. "and to eiji?"

ash smiled. "to eiji? i would repeat that a hundred times more if he wanted."

he wasn't lying. he would do that. for eiji, he would do a lot of stupid shit. reciting that speech for the cute japanese so that he could see the way he laughed loudly and careless didn't seem bad. at all.

"god, you're in _deep_ _shit_ ash, deep, deep, deep."

ash smirked. "and what about it?"

shorter smiled looking at the sky. "you know what? fucking nothing, there's nothing fucking bad about it."

______

the first time alex went to chang dai was also the first time banana fish ever performed.

he wouldn't lie, the moment he saw those two scrawny teens he could bet they were only brats trying to brag the fact that they knew three chords and only knew how to play one song. the confident face in the one who held the bass, _he was even wearing sunglasses inside!_ alex remembered. who did he think he was? _joey fucking ramone?_

the other one looked nervous but a guy shouted something alex knew wasn't nice, and he _smirked_. why? alex didn't know that.

he just knew that whatever song they would play, alex would be pretty fucking disappointed. kids these days didn't feel the passion in music like once they did, _way_ back.

oh boy was he wrong.

the moment that kid with purple mohawk started playing the chords to longview, alex's jaw fell, hard.

and when the blond boy started singing? alex wanted to start dancing like in a fucking punk rock festival.

he could feel the music, he could feel the sentiments of teenage angst, lack of experience, nervousness but also love towards the song.

the way they jumped synchronized, and not only that but choosing a song that let every instrument have their own moment? alex was the only person in that place who clapped like a fucking idiot.

sadly they only played one song and the moment they left the tiny stage alex smiled. he knew those kids would go places.

they only need something.

a _drummer_.

and for some reason the gods, angels or the universe listened to alex and took the boys towards the table he was sitting.

"hey, did you like our performance?" asked the one with sunglasses.

alex noticed now that they weren't puberty kids but already teens, hell maybe they had eighteen, alex should stop feeling like a grandma when he was just nineteen.

"yeah! it was cool that you played that song, haven't listened to green day for a while." alex answered with a smile.

"do you play?" asked the blond one.

"i play drums, never with band though." alex remembered those days when he was fifteen and saved money for two years so that he could buy a drum set. he was lucky his parents didn't mind him playing but they couldn't afford the classes so alex learned by his own.

one day he even told his friends if they would like to listen to him play. that day alex went to bed with tears in his eyes and cero friends because they made fun of him playing pretty bad and pretty alone.

he tried not to care that much about it but no one during high school wanted to played with him. he knew by then that his passion for music being a single drummer couldn't afford a college bill so he went for communication and digital media.

perhaps he couldn't achieve his dream of being in a band and being the best god damn drummer in the world, after tré cool of course, but he still could be a great digital creator, maybe even a radio host who knows!

well, that was before meeting ash and shorter. that was before that conversation after their first performance, that was before alex started hanging out with them all summer and one day invited him to play with them.

it was on a sunny saturday after playing together for the first time. when the last chord sounded and ash stopped singing both him and shorter looked at alex with wide eyes.

they didn't even hesitate to ask if alex could join banana fish.

and alex didn't even hesitate to say yes.

after that, that summer became alex's favorite time of his life. he learned a lot about both shorter and ash who had seventeen and were going to be seniors that year, he played so many songs, covers and originals, that he thought would never see the light of day, ever. he felt like he was achieving his dream and cried and called his mom the first time he performed with a band. _their_ band.

so, that was how it all went down to now. waiting for those two hooligans that for some reason were coming late to practice.

twenty minutes later a very breathless ash and thirsty shorter arrived to his house.

"i needs, i need water. water _alex_ water!"

alex rolled his eyes and threw him a cold water bottle.

"good night guys! why so _fucking_ late?" alex asked.

ash looked at shorter who just shrugged his shoulders but then laughed hard.

"sorry i remembered what happened and god-" shorter yelled in laughter.

alex didn't knew what the fuck was going on but acted like he did.

"ash? care to explain?"

ash just laughed. "alright let me make a disclaimer that this is eiji's fault."

shorter snorted on his water and alex made a face of disgust.

"dude! i just cleaned the whole damn house! clean that shit or you're not playing."

"fuck sorry, but yes it is eiji's fault. not like we care but it is." shorter grabbed a kidnap and started cleaning.

alex remembered the name eiji. it was on the first week when ash and shorter went back to school that on wednesday when he met them for practice ash was just staring at the ceiling completely unfocused.

shorter explained everything. ash had a crush. a _deep_ one.

"he's on the, writing their last names together phase, even if he just _kind of_ met him on monday."

shorter also explained the guy named eiji didn't even saw ash back when he saw him on the hallway.

alex just put his hand on ash's shoulder on trying to make him feel better.

eiji would notice ash, alex knew that easily, so since then he had been rooting for those two to at least talk.

"hold on, did you talked to eiji?" alex asked carefully.

ash grinned like a mad man before jumping on alex couch and starting _screaming_. "YES! YES! YOU BET I FUCKING DID!" he then fell on the couch and smiled softly. "that's why we're late so if you're still mad fuck off."

alex rolled his eyes but still felt joy because he knew damn well this is something ash and, everyone who knew ash, was waiting for.

"this is my house in the first place! you fuck off and go kiss your boyfriend's ass!"

"-ugh he wishes."

"-i fucking wish."

shorter and ash said at the same time and then laughed, alex joined too.

"i wish he was my boyfriend! not kissing his ass!" ash said with blush on his cheeks.

alex and shorter rolled their eyes. "aha."

"you just say that now." alex winked at him and ash threw him a pillow right in his neck. "OOF-"

"whatever let's go play." ash got up and the three of them went to the garage where everything was already set except for ash's guitar and shorter's bass.

"okay but you didn't answer why you're late guys." alex sat down on the kit and looked at both ash and shorter who looked like they were trying not to laugh. 

"listen carefully alex because i'm not repeating twice. how familiar are you with shia labeouf's 'just do it' speech?" shorter asked and both him and ash fell on the floor and started to laugh _hard_.

alex couldn't do anything but stare because what the fuck did these two punks do now?

_"WHAT?" _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i firmly believe ash is the one who writes properly while eiji goes all lowercase because it looks cuter, thank you for reading! :)


	3. safe hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ash grows some balls. that's it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be a small mention about ash's past so please be careful!

if you would've told ash he was going to talk to his crush at one am about music, ash would've hit you right in the nose and tell you to fuck off.

of course, nobody told ash that. so now he was completely overjoyed about the fact that he was talking to eiji about their favorite band.

because, yes, ash couldn't believe it the moment eiji said it, he thought he was dreaming, _hard dreaming. _

ash thought that green day being eiji and his favorite was a dream too good to be true.

"alright but you know 21st century breakdown is simply superior to american idiot right? you cannot prove me wrong." eiji said softly because his mother and sister fell asleep hours ago but he just couldn't because _he was taking to ash. _

_ to ash. _

ash still couldn't wrapped up his mind with that so he just snorted loud.

"_as if!_ you're a tasteless person i see, how can you think an album without jesus of suburbia is simply, _superior?_ eiji, i think you hit hard today at practice for believing such bullshit."

eiji giggled cutely and ash started kicking the air because _WHY_ could eiji okumura be that cute. ash was mad.

"but how can you think an album without, hear me out, _east jesus nowhere_, is superior? ash i think you're the stupid one here."

ash rolled his eyes. "i rolled my eyes, i'm not gonna fight you about this."

"_oh_, so you agree?"

"agree, what?"

"that 21st century breakdown is superior?" ash could see the smirk on eiji's face, that _pretty motherfucker_ ash wanted to yell but griffin was also asleep.

"shut up."

eiji chuckled. "i'm not gonna lie that, that jesus of suburbia is probably their best song, it just, it _just-_"

"-hits." ash continued. knowing the feeling.

he could feel eiji sigh. "yes, it, it hits, i don't know how billie joe could come up with such masterpiece of lyrics and and melody! god, tré, mike, they're all _so good_, so goddamn _good_."

ash smiled, he could listen to eiji talk for hours he would never get tired, if anything he would ask for more.

eiji's voice is pure honey and feeling like a cloud, soft, calming and completely lovely. ash sighed feeling overwhelmed with how graceful and lightly eiji could talk.

but also with passion and fire when he talks about something he loves

"sorry i turned the conversation upside down." eiji giggles. "you asked about my favorite band and i, i couldn't contain myself."

"it's alright. i was shocked when you answered green day because they're also my favorite so i didn't mind a bit, if anything we could always talk about them or-or any other band, or anything, in general, it is fine." ash babbled rapidly.

he felt scared at the silence eiji responded with but was glad when he heard eiji chuckle.

"it's funny, i can't, like, _never_, talk about this things with akira. she gets _so_ bored, and only answers a 'that's cool' minutes later i finished talking." ash felt sad but also angry wanting to snap akira about it. "she once told me _it_ _was_ annoying when i ranted a lot, about anything, so i'm sorry i do it, _it is_ annoying and you probably want to sleep."

ash didn't know how to answer. so he yelled like the idiot he was.

"_fuck no_ eiji! _ugh_ hold on." ash breathed, _one, two, three,_ sighed. "you know we kind of just met, today, well, yesterday 'cause it's one am. but still i know, that you're absolutely not annoying when you talk, if anything, talk more! _jesus_, i didn't lie when i sended that text saying if you wanted to talk anytime i would be there, it's true, eiji, i will be there, i'm here and listening alright?"

it took fourteen seconds for eiji to answer, ash counted. he didn't gave a shit he said _all, that,_ to eiji, it was true and for him that was enough.

"alright, i, _god_, _aslan_." eiji smiled, ash could feel it. "i really don't care we just started talking today- yesterday. i mean, i did asked you if we could talk at eleven pm but you said yes and we have been talking for, hold on, for two hours, fifty minutes and four, five, six, seconds! i never did this before, but im glad im doing it with you, you're really nice. "

ash couldn't help but giggle. he fucking ash lynx _giggled_ because eiji said he was _nice_.

he was in paradise? heaven? valhalla? ash didn't fucking knew but it was amazing and eiji was here.

"you're really nice too. and honestly, don't believe akira, you're not annoying, at all."

"we still just met yesterday, aslan." eiji laughed softly. "i can bet, sixteen dollars and a, _an oreo six pack,_ that you will stop talking to me by next week."

ash smirked. "i bet, a cover to whatever song you want, i won't stop talking to you by next week, that is if you let me."

eiji was silent. "i nodded but forgot we were in the phone."

ash couldn't help but laugh.

"_fuck_, eiji."

"i'm sorry okay!" eiji also laughed. "we can try doing facetime one day yes?"

ash stopped laughing. "d-do you want to facetime? _with me?_ facetime with me?"

"you did say you wouldn't stop talking to me next week, i hope you keep your bet."

ash shaked his head and leaned on the other side of bed looking at the dark sky through his window. "what song?"

"huh, you're really thinking you will win?"

"when _i_ win this, what song do you want me to play?"

"who's your guilty pleasure artist?" eiji asked.

ash didn't hesitate once. "taylor swift. she fucking raised me, eiji, she really did, but everyone gives me hell for it."

"what? no! she's amazing! why would they give you hell?"

ash rolled his eyes because he understood, but was aware it _was_ stupid.

"she's a girl i don't know, not very mainly for a dude who plays punk rock."

"billie joe would laugh at you in shame. i bet he has taylor swift in his playlist, i know i have her."

ash laughed. "he definitely would've if i told him when i met him."

ash didn't believed eiji would scream, but he did, eiji fucking yelled his heart out and ash had to pull away his phone from his ear because _what the fuck. _

"oh my fucking god aslan i just woke up my mom and she will definitely kick my ass but in a few hours, you'll explain yourself alright? you heard me? _explain yourself!"_ and eiji hanged up without letting ash say at least a good night.

ash grinned dumbly at his phone. rapidly he send a text to eiji with a sigh. he was looking forward to a couple hours. he needed to see eiji's face when he will tell him the story.

** _aslan: Good night, darling. _ **

** _aslan: Hope your ass is alright. _ **

** **

** _eiji darling: fuck off :p _ **

ash laughed hard and went to sleep. griffin would totally kick ash's ass tomorrow for laughing too hard just like eiji's mom to eiji for yelling like crazy, but ash didn't care that much. not now knowing he would also see eiji's beautiful face, that was worth it.

______

ash's ass wasn't kicked by griffin this morning, instead he asked what the hell happened.

"so, you send the information about your gig tomorrow, said if he wanted to talk you would be there, and five minutes later eiji called?"

ash looked at griffin groggy, it was seven in the morning and waking up wasn't something ash liked.

"uh, yeah? that, that happened?" ash answered tired. tired of what? not even ash knew.

griffin laughed and gave a bite to his sandwich. "what did you talked about?"

"he, he asked me what i was doing, said nothing, and then _i_ asked him what _he_ was doing and said that he just helped his little sister from a nightmare and now he couldn't sleep. then we just, kept talking i guess? and i told him i met billie joe and he screamed and hang up because his mother was going to kick his ass. " ash remembered slowly and griffin laughed hard.

ash knew he got that laugh from him.

"that's, that's awesome, do you want the camera? where the photograph is?" ash denied making griffin pout. "why?"

"i don't want to fight. if someone see i brought a 2007 _pink_ camera i'm not gonna live for it." griffin rolled his eyes. "perhaps i would live, but in prison, you know?"

"yeah kid, i know. i support what you do because i know you wouldn't get in a fight without purpose so, if anything i would fight with you! hell, i would tell max to fight with us!"

ash chuckled imagining seen the three of them together in a fight.

"then we would have to deal with jessica and i know the three of us wouldn't want to fight with _her."_

griffin nod. "that's true. but hey, no man or woman will laugh about my 2007 pink camera! that costed a lot for you to be ashamed of it!" ash knew griffin was joking but still felt bad.

griffin noticing it took his hand. "hey, it's fine alright? no one will make fun of you while i'm here, i will always be here understood?"

ash smiled a little. "yes, thanks griffin."

griffin smiled too and pressed their hands a little before letting go and getting up. "come on, you have school, i have work and it's getting late."

"it's seven am! you woke me up early!" ash grunted.

"it's because i haven't been able to take you to school in a while! and i need to check soon to work so _let's go." _

ash groaned but hearing griffin's tone knew he wasn't joking so he went to his room, grabbed his backpack and left the small but cozy house of them.

"why do you have to check so early?" ash asked putting on the bluetooth and a _lack of color_ started.

ash loved this song. even though it was the first time he heard the name 'death cab for cutie' thanks to eiji last night. he demanded ash to check them out and said that one was his favorite song.

predictably, ash fell in love with it, and knew he would have it on repeat for a while.

"these is new, never knew you liked death cab."

ash grinned. "eiji told me to check them out, apparently this and green day are his favorite bands."

griffins whistled. "a kid with great taste! i approve him! never told you but i saw this band when i was in college. amazing guys, do you have transatlanticism?"

ash nodded. "eiji told me to download all their songs."

"and you obeyed? huh, gonna ask him his tricks." ash hit him in the arm. "agh! ash!" griffin winced.

ash looked at the window. "leave me alone." he said like a brat.

"for the record, i think it's great. the whole eiji thing, i felt nervous every day when you came back from school because nothing happened and you seemed sad, i'm glad eiji broke the ice."

"i was gonna do it! _he beat me to it!"_ ash didn't want to admit he was still annoyed about it.

griffin chuckled. "you should bring him for dinner one day."

ash scoffed but knew it would be amazing. "he still has a girlfriend." he pouted like a child.

"ah, aslan, you said she seemed shady so eiji could always go to you. just don't do anything improper or something eiji wouldn't want and it will be fine! don't worry too much about it and enjoy what you have with him now, you never know what the future holds."

ash nodded. "yes, _dad_."

"ah come on! _it's true!_ i never thought i would leave cape cod and live in new york but here we are!"

ash trembled a little remembering their conversation of last week. "do we, do we have to go visit _him?"_

griffin sighed when the red light turned. "no kid, if you don't want to we don't. you don't even have to come, i'm just going for the rest of our things, you know, all the photo albums, clothes, books, the baseball trophi-"

"_don't_ bring the trophies." ash spat very tense. "_please,_ griffin don't bring anything from-"

ash could feel the tears trying to come from his eyes and suddenly he had his brother's arms around him. not letting he fall to those bad times again.

"i won't bringing anything from, _that_." griffin reassured. "aslan, i won't bring anything that could remember it. i'm so sorry, i didn't think what i was saying."

ash tried to answer but the words didn't come out so he just nodded.

"you're fine, you're alive, you're here, im here, im fine. we're alright and nothing like that will happen again, nothing. we're safe here yes? you're safe."

he really hold onto those words like rock, he didn't want to remember that again but he just couldn't _stop thinking_.

_"the atlantic was born today, and i'll tell you how."_ griffin sang gently at the same time the song did.

ash's trembling arms stopped abruptly and started breathing hard. trying to listen and focus only on his brother's voice.

it was like that for seven minutes. ash trying to calm himself and griffin just being there holding him and singing to him. making him feel so safe, ash didn't knew what would've happened if he wasn't here.

but he was. griffin and him were there. together. safe and sound. seeing the blue light sky and listening to transatlanticism. it was also thanks to that song that ash started to feel better, he remembered eiji, and imagining him in a beach listening to that delicate song made ash smile softly and open his eyes.

he was fine. griffin was fine. they were together an safe and what happened wouldn't repeat. he was safe. ash was safe.

"there you are! are you feeling better?" griffin asked looking at him.

"yeah, thank you." ash whispered feeling his cheeks wet.

"i'm always here. noticed you liked the song." griffin said with a smile.

"it, it is nice, _too_ nice, like-like a lullaby."

"they end their show with that one, they always do." griffin said with a smile.

"that, that should be emotional."

"it is." griffin chuckled. "i felt amazing there. i brought max with me but he started crying the moment they came on stage. he's also a death cab fan and couldn't believe he was listening them right in front of him, he was sobbing his eyes out in transatlanticism, don't know if it was because it's his favorite song or because the show was going to end."

in other time ash would've smirk and laugh about max but he really knew the feeling and wondered if eiji would act the same. he would love to watch death cab for cutie live with eiji, and griffin! hell, even max, that would be perfect.

"we'll see them one day, don't worry ash." griffin soothed ash like if he knew what he was thinking.

"can we bring eiji? if, if he still talks to me?" griffin smiled softly.

"of course. are you alright with staying here in the car or do you want to go inside? can i get you cookies? milkshake? coffee? i'm not gonna take more than ten minutes. "

ten minutes, ash could wait.

"i'm good, i'll stay here." he responded.

griffin nodded. "alright, need anything call me okay?"

"i will."

griffin smiled one last time and left ash alone with his thoughts. he felt better now, very thankful griffin held his hand the whole ride and kept singing to him.

school would start in twenty minutes. ash felt he was going to come late. he usually didn't care but remembered his conversation with griffin and started thinking.

eiji was most probably not going to believe him, he needed proof but ash was dumb and didn't brought griffin's camera because he was _afraid_.

so he sighed and continued listening to death cab for cutie. that at least was able to calm him down.

he felt really lucky for having eiji and telling him he should listen to them. it was a blessing.

______

"why don't you ask him to go to your house?" shorter asked.

"bold of him for just starting to talk to eiji yesterday." yut lung said rolling his eyes.

"did you forgot i said we talked yesterday, like, all night?" ash reminded him.

the three of the were in recess. ash, _painfully_, haven't seen eiji all day. apparently both forgot they had literature that day but thankfully math was next, which usually ash wasn't looking forward to but felt happy because he was going to see eiji.

but akira was also going to be there and this time shorter wouldn't be able to help him since he had chemistry so ash had to find a way out of it.

yut lung looked at him death in the eye. "still, don't you have practice or something? you have a gig tomorrow."

shorter sniggered. "bold of you to assume we practice one day before a show."

"you don't?" yut lung sounded confused.

"no, alex works. and when we do practice we get too nervous so we decided to rest a day before a show. tomorrow we'll practice one last time after school and that would be it." ash explained looking at the clock. ten minutes left.

"what will you play?" yut lung sounded excited.

"it's a secret." shorter teased with a smirk.

"ugh, boring, i bet it's a bad setlist." yut lung murmured.

"not. at. all. _just you wait."_ ash winked at yut lung and he grumbled.

"i'm leaving. so, what are you going to do?" yut lung asked.

"oh yeah, won't be able to, talk to akira, which honestly makes me happy but know it won't be easy for you." shorter apologized but ash denied.

"it's fine, if i can't right now i'll go to watch him practice."

he heard yut lung tsk. "that won't work. he only trains mondays, wednesdays and fridays. guess you'll have to invite him to your house."

ash smiled a little at that but felt bad it was most probably he wouldn't talk to eiji now, he was waiting all night and morning for it.

"it's cool. griffin actually said i should invite him for dinner, so it would be fine." ash grinned a little imagining eiji and griffin talk about death cab for cutie in the table while they ate pizza because both callenreese were pretty bad at cooking.

"that's, _disgustingly_ adorable." yut lung said without hesitation. "i'll see you later."

shorter and ash said goodbye and watch the young angsty teen leave the library.

"we should leave too, class is about to start." ash said getting up but shorter stopped him and pushed him back into his chair.

"haha, you wanting to go early to class? i have to laugh." so shorter laughed and ash groaned.

"c'moooon, shorter, i want to see e-"

"eiji!" shorter yelled a little too loud for being in a library, the old lady there looked at himself in a death stare. "sorry."

ash looked at him confused but understood why he yelled. eiji was there, and he was walking towards them with that angelic smile.

ash tried to look presentable, passing his hands through his hair and sitting up properly with a nice smile of his.

"eiji!" ash said less loudly looking at the pretty japanese.

he was wearing a button white shirt with a coral pink sweater and blue jeans, he looked too soft, too pretty, too eiji.

"hi! aslan, shorter!" he said with that radiant smile while holding too many books.

"what are you doing here?" shorter asked.

"akira wanted me to get her some books she was gonna read and also return the ones she already did."

shorter and ash looked at each other with mad eyes. ash wanted to scream the truth right there but knew yut lung would probably slap him, _hard_.

"why are you doing it instead of her?" ash tried to ask it softly but you could notice his angry voice.

at least eiji did, seemed a little taken aback. "uh it is fine, i wanted to do it, so, don't worry?"

eiji looked at both a little confused but shook his head looked at ash straight in the eyes. ash thought he was watching his soul.

"so, aslan, do you mind telling me the story _now?"_

ash was about to open his mouth when the bell rang.

"shit, i have to take this, um, i'll see you in math?"

ash with wide eyes and heart racing asked. "you know we're in math together?"

"of course! while on literature you stay very quiet to the point of not being able to see you're there… you always fight with the math teacher, it's funny." eiji giggled.

"i'll see you guys later?" shorter said getting up and taking his backpack.

"yeah." ash said shortly while eiji just waved with one hand while holding the too many books in the other.

"bye, shorteeer!"

"bye, eijiii!" shorter said back with a smile and left the library.

ash was about to turn to eiji and say something when abruptly all the books from his hand fell.

"fuck." eiji muttered quiet and started grabbing the books.

"you know, for being a pole vaulter you sure have weak arms." ash teased.

"fuck off." eiji said so adorably, ash couldn't help but smirk.

"now, _darling,_ why would i do that? i'm helping you with these heavy books for y-"

eiji fastly whipped away the books from ash hands and stuck out his tongue at him.

"sorry, _aslan dear_, i don't need your help. i'm doing very good by myself."

ash smirked but in the inside was screaming hard because eiji called him _aslan dear. _

_aslan dear, aslan dear, aslan dear._

he loved so much the sound of that, eiji calling him like that was the best melody ever.

eiji was probably joking around with it, most likely because he thought ash was also doing it as a joke, but it wasn't true. it was a dream of his to call eiji 'darling', and the boy didn't seem to mind so he kept doing it.

but eiji doing it back? ash adored it. it made his heart go wild. he hoped eiji would keep calling him that.

"alright then, at least allow me to walk with you?"

eiji smirked back. "thank you."

both of them laughed quietly while they waited to return the books, now eiji only held four and they came to the classroom.

akira was already there. texting someone with a smile and sitting in a chair next to one that ash knew it was eiji's since his books and backpack were there.

"do you want to sit with us? i promise akira is very nice. " eiji asked genuinely.

ash thought for a second. he knew akira wasn't nice. but eiji didn't knew that. he could say no and sit on his usual place in the back but losing the chance on sitting next to eiji?

"sure." ash answered and eiji grinned.

"great! akira hi!"

akira looked at eiji with a grin but then turned to ash and it disappeared suddenly.

ash tried to act cool but he could feel his eyebrows furrow at looking at her the same way she looked at him. mad and grossed.

"eiji, who's, _this?"_ akira asked without tearing her eyes off of ash.

"akira, this is aslan, aslan this is akira." eiji introduced with a smile, and sat in his chair, ash following hesitantly breaking eye contact with akira.

he wouldn't lie, she's weirdly intimidating.

"now that you know each other… aslan! tell me about billie joe." eiji demanded so cute.

ash could see akira roll her eyes and turn her gaze back to her phone.

"well-"

"eeijii!" ash stopped understanding after that since she interrupted him in japanese.

eiji sighed and turned around to look at her and responded.

akira seemed a little angry and retorted something that made eiji flinch and then _blush_.

eiji said something back looking at his hands fidgeting. ash wanted to grab them and hold him but knew it was impossible.

akira snapped something else and finishing the conversation she left her place and went to the other side of the classroom where she sat with some girls and started talking.

ash looked at her in confusion because _what the fuck was that. _

he turned to eiji who was now listening to something in his earphones with closed eyes.

he seemed calm but his face was sad and ash didn't knew what to do because he didn't knew what the fuck they said.

"eiji?" ash said trying to sound soft.

eiji opened his eyes and ash could see they were a little watery.

he wanted to stand up and yell at akira, say everything that had to be said and leave with eiji.

but he could see eiji didn't need that. not now that he was on the verge of crying. if anything it would make him feel worse, ash didn't want that.

but he also didn't want to stay silence and not do anything to help eiji.

"do you want to talk?" ash asked softly, as soft as griffin talked to him in the morning.

eiji denied and with a shaky voice sighed. "do you want to listen to, music?"

ash nodded without hesitation, eiji smiled shortly and passed him an earphone.

"i'm not rich enough to have airpods, sorry."

ash laughed at that and felt glad eiji giggled back.

"it's fine, you're fine."

eiji nodded and closed his eyes again.

"do you want to go to my place? there's no one there and you can sleep for the rest of class." ash said looking at the back where there was no one.

probably because they were afraid of ash doing something if they sat there.

eiji nodded and both walked there. he saw eiji and akira glance at each other but then she turned around angry and eiji sighed.

ash didn't want to upset him more so they sat in silence and ash put on the earphone.

he smiled, _amy_.

"i really like the trilogy." eiji whispered with closed eyes.

ash smiled because of course, eiji who thought 21st century breakdown was superior enjoyed the _trilogy_.

ash didn't mind. this song in particular is one of his favorites of those three albums only _one_ band would release consecutively.

_crazy motherfuckers_, ash thought listening to the honey ballad.

the class started then, ash payed attention and wrote notes and exercises with one ear listening to eiji's green day playlist. he checked on him every five minutes, every time he glanced at him eiji was there with closed eyes, he didn't seem to be asleep but calmed and resting. he seemed better and ash smiled happily.

the work was easy so he ended fast and spent the rest of the class looking at the boy at his side.

most songs they heard were the slow calming ones, ash wondered if eiji had one green day calming playlist, other green day angry playlist, a sad one and maybe a dancing one too.

he seemed like he would. ash smiled and closed his eyes. both of them listening at the chill songs, he felt great after a rollercoaster of morning and strange seconds seeing eiji and akira fight.

the bell rang and ash opened his eyes, he saw eiji already sat up and grabbing his books and putting them on his white backpack.

"thank you for covering me." eiji said stopping the song and taking off his earphone, ash passed him the other and eiji put both his phone and earphones in the backpack.

"it's alright, don't worry, do you feel better?"

"yeah." eiji answered but ash thought it wasn't true, he stand up and so did ash.

"what class do you have?" ash asked both of the leaving the classroom.

"chemistry ugh, i _hate_ school." eiji groaned.

ash chucked. "it's not bad, i really like it."

eiji looked at him with wide wide eyes but then smirked. "nerd."

ash rolled his eyes. "shut up, jock."

eiji's laughed and ash was happy he heard that beautiful sound. "oh! didn't mention earlier but i will see you tomorrow!"

ash stopped his tracks and _stared_ with a grin. "really?!"

"really!" eiji confirmed with a pretty grin of his.

"oh my, _fuck_! thank you eiji!"

eiji smiled. "it's fine, i can't wait."

ash felt over the moon. eiji was seeing him play, eiji was seeing him play, eiji was seeing him play

he couldn't believe it!

ash was about to hug him right there but eiji stopped walking and looked at him. oh.

they arrived to chemistry classroom.

"see you tomorrow?" eiji said.

"uh, i was actually wondering if, if you, wouldn't mind, if, do-do you want to go? t-to my house, yes, do you want to go to my house?" ash asked nervously.

he couldn't believe he always acted like a dumbass when asking eiji something. he needed shorter right now. thank god they were together in the last class.

"yeah! i-i can go? don't you have practice? your gig is tomorrow." eiji said just like yut lung, ash smiled.

"we don't practice one day before a gig so it's fine, we can go after school? to my house?"

"okay! yes, i'll just tell my mom, she doesn't work late today so it will be fine."

ash smiled. "cool! okay uh, uh see you after class? at the gateway?"

eiji nodded. "yeah, see you later, aslan." and with a last smile eiji entered his classroom.

ash was grinning like an idiot when he arrived to p. e. where shorter was expecting him.

"and what happened to you? why so smiley?" shorter teased because he damn well knew what was going through ash's mind.

"eiji! eiji happened! eiji is coming to my house!" ash was thrilled and shorter laughed happily.

"i can see that, use protection alright? don't want to be an uncle so early."

ash stopped jumping like a kid and elbowed shorter hard.

"FUCK! OKAY! I'LL STOP!"

ash laughed and started putting on the uniform.

"did you saw the groupchat?" shorter asked quietly into ash's ear.

ash looked at him weirdly because when the fuck did shorter ever whisper, but he just pointed to ash's phone in his pocket.

"check it when you're alone." he muttered.

ash nodded and waited till the middle of class when he went to the restroom and checked his phone.

** _yeet lung: fuck _ **

** **

** _shorter dirty whore: what _ **

** **

** _yeet lung: i saw arthur talk to akira _ **

** **

** _shorter dirty whore: fucking hell when _ **

** **

** _yeet lung: during recess, they were on the bleachers but they were just talking _ **

** **

** _shorter dirty whore: fucking bitch, after you left the library eiji came saying he was there to return and bring books for akira_ **

** **

** _yeet lung: i hate her i hate her so much _ **

** **

** _shorter dirty whore: what are we gonna do? _ **

** **

** _yeet lung: wait till tomorrow of course _ **

** **

** _shorter dirty whore: fucking fine_ **

** **

** _yeet lung: don't do something stupid, stupid _ **

** **

** _shorter dirty whore: that goes for you too_ **

** **

** _shorter dirty whore: and ash_ **

** **

** _shorter dirty whore: ASH BITCH ANSWER MOTHERFUCKER_ **

** **

** _yeet lung: where is him_ **

** **

** _shorter dirty whore: drooling over eiji lmao_ **

** **

** _yeet lung: im gonna vomit _ **

** **

** **

** **

ash rolled his eyes but started thinking if everything was a good idea. probably not but tomorrow everything was supposed to end, and ash only had to wait and hope eiji wasn't going to stop talking to him, shorter or yut lung.

he all felt so furious about the two fuckers, he never saw them together in school so them being in the bleaches was definitely strange.

ash left the restroom and went towards shorter who was playing with some classmates.

"shorter!"

shorter turned around and threw the basketball to other guy and went running to ash who sat on the bleachers.

"what do you think they will do?" ash asked.

"fucking nothing i hope, arthur has alway been one to think with the dick, not head, so i don't worry about him but akira…"

"today she and eiji, i think they fought."

"what?" shorter asked surprised.

"yeah, didn't understand shit what they were saying in japanese but eiji did seemed upset after she left and sat with the girls."

shorter hummed thinking. "i don't know man, they're definitely up to something, watch out yes?"

"yeah you too, we don't want them to know we know."

"i'll tell yut lung, why don't you and eiji go to have dinner at chang dai?"

"why?" ash asked suspicious.

"so i can see you in your date of course." shorter teased with a smirk.

"it's not a date! fucking hell, you know better than anyone that."

shorter chuckled. "i know, sorry, it's just, i really can see you and eiji man, we're so close, like, if everything goes like we have planned i can see you two starting to date by next week, no joke."

ash thought about it and smiled. holding hands with eiji in the hallway, walking him home, playing him a song, reciting him poems and vines, _kissing him..._

"wake up! class is over." shorter waved at ash's face.

"shorter?"

"what?"

"i like him, like, _i really like him_, can i say that after only talking for, two days?" ash asked. "because if yes, then i'm sure, i really really like him."

shorter looked in amused and then shook his head. "ash, ash, my dear friend ash, i think you do and because you like him you _should_ do something. i can see eiji liking you, maybe not now, but soon, enjoy today."

ash smiled, both of them walking to the showers. "griffin said the same thing."

"then you know for sure we're right, we're your best bros after all." shorter winked at him playfully.

"of course, brother who we kissed in eighth grade for experience."

shorter widened his eyes and turned around trying to see if someone heard ash.

"_fucking bitch_ it was an experiment." shorter muttered. "i'm gonna tell to eiji about _that_ _halloween_."

now it was time for ash to wide his eyes.

"_fuck off_, fucking shorter _fucking_ wong you won't say shit."

** **

shorter smirked. "ash _fucking_ lynx i bet your ass i will."

"you won't do it or i'm going to shave your head on your sleep just like you had it on middle school."

"as if that would be bad! i rocked bald once i can rock it _again!"_ shorter said with a scowl. "good _fucking_ luck on your man when he finds out what are you _scared of!"_

ash started chasing shorter. both of them laughing and yelling like little kids, some guys on the showers told them to fucking stop and some even grabbed their arms trying to stop them from acting like idiots but ash hit one hard in the jaw when he pushed him and both ash and shorter ran away from there with three dudes of the football team _chasing_ _them_.

"my _fucking_ god ash if we're going to juvie it's gonna be your _motherfucking_ fault!" shorter screamed but was also laughing at the three big guys behind them that kept yelling slurs at them.

ash didn't felt sorry for hitting the guy and was laughing at shorter's scared face.

"oh shorter you know it will be _our _fault if we go to juvie for all those times we fought with the football team!"

"i was cool with them after junior _what the hell! _fucking ash ruining friendships!"

ash laughed remembering everything.

they were in freshman and both him and shorter were scary-cats-trying-to-be-punk-teens when they made a joke to the football team and since then _they haunted them_. ash thought it was a healthy rivalry.

they mostly fist fought on the football court and made pranks the one to the other through all high school. ash thought they were having fun, hell, sometimes they even ate lunch together and knew the basics about them. even shorter and ash were invited to their parties! a lot of times they fought there but mostly for making a show or challenge.

but it all went fucking downhill when arthur _destroyed_ ash's guitar and ripped the strings from shorter's bass and ash _destroyed_ arthur's fingers.

he didn't destroyed them _bad,_ but did make arthur cry like a bitch and griffin had to pay a hospital bill. the worst part was that the bitch didn't pay for the guitar or the bass strings.

the football team decided, with shorter, (ash didn't want to see those fuckers faces since they stayed on arthur's side) a truce, when junior was about to finish. ash _did_ got in trouble sometimes with arthur after and, sometimes, the football team and band.

(the band attack was a very funny story for some other time. )

but in the start of this year, everything changed and ash felt glad when arthur acted like if ash didn't existed which was perfect for ash since he didn't want to get into more fights.

that was, until now.

"FUCK OFF STUPID _PILLOCK!"_ shorter screamed to one of the guys who said a slur to shorter. ash howled of laughter.

"what the fuck shorter?" ash asked because what was _that_.

"i read it on a page of old insults _fuck off!" _

both of them were almost at the gateway and turned around and saw the guys still looking mad, probably because of shorter's big mouth.

apparently there wasn't a truce anymore. ash didn't knew if he felt glad or scared, he honestly missed it but was now scare if the football team would do something to eiji.

also because a lot of dudes entered the team this year just like some left high school last year. sadly, most of them were the ones who ash and shorter used to 'fight'. so now the new guys only knew that the names shorter wong and ash lynx meant trouble, but didn't exactly knew the story about _why_.

eiji was already there waiting for him. ash wanted to stop and look at him, marveled about his beauty but the guys were still after them. probably wanting to break some bones.

"did you just called him _pillock_?" eiji asked to shorter who didn't stop running but yelled a _'fucking yes' _and left the school building.

eiji looked at ash. waiting for an explanation, ash stopped when he was right in front of eiji and looked back noticing the three gorillas were almost there.

ash looked at eiji who was still waiting for an answer. "we need to go now, darling." he said without a breath.

he really was breathless. running from the sport court to the gateway was pretty fucking far and exhausting.

eiji blushed a little just like he always did when ash named him that. "what's ha-"

"DON'T DARE TO RUN ASH LYNX!" the guy in the middle roared.

ash smiled noticing it was the one and only, cain blood.

eiji looked with wide eyes at them and without hesitation took ash's hand and both of them started _running_.

ash grinned looking at their hands together and looked back showing his middle finger to the guys there.

"SORRY I COULDN'T STAY TO CHAT, GOODBYE FUCKERS!"

eiji started laughing and so did ash seeing the guys between cain in pure anger, cain just smirked. he probably missed it too. 

he and eiji stopped running when they were sure they absolutely stopped following and continued walking towards ash's house laughing.

ash told eiji what happened with the guys ash, making him laugh but also look at him worried.

"so you're really a punk huh." eiji giggled listening to ash's shenanigans from junior days. "i would've love seeing you, _cold cock_ those guys."

ash smiled. "it wasn't cool sometimes, there was once or twice where they _did_ got our ass beat but every time shorter and i fought back so all of us ended up in the infirmary." ash laughed. "i could bet we were all friends if i'm honest, fighting over very stupid things, it was ruined when arthur-"

"broke your instruments." eiji continued sadly. "i'm sorry about that."

"don't be, im not sorry about his fingers." ash sniggered and eiji giggled.

"of course you aren't."

"it was actually from our very first fist fight where i got the ash lynx name."

"really? why ash lynx?" eiji asked curiously.

"ash because that's what everyone calls me, it's easier than aslan and lynx well, every time i got him i hit back so they thought i was like, a lynx who couldn't be dominated, or some shit like that shorter said."

eiji hummed thinking. "it's accurate. i did heard you kind of used to get in trouble a lot before, i was wondering when i was going to see you fight, didn't expect you and shorter running away from those guys."

ash thought a little about it, very nervous he asked. "d-do, do you care? that i used to fight? and get in trouble and shit?"

eiji didn't hesitate to answer. "no, i don't care. it's different but listening to you talk about your, _shenanigans_, you definitely grew a lot from it. and it's not like you and the football team wanted to kill each other, just like you said you were mostly fighting for fun. which i don't get where's the fun in getting your ass kicked…but like i said. i don't care you used to do dumb stuff, god knows i did stupid stuff back in japan."

ash felt happy about his answer. eiji didn't care! eiji was still here walking with him, and while they were together, now, it was perfect for ash.

he couldn't pray for someone more understanding and nicer than eiji.

so he smirked a little looking at him. "_oh_, so you had _your_ shenanigans back in japan? let's hear them!"

eiji groaned but smiled. "let's just say, i wasn't as smooth as you in the first place."

eiji and him kept the walk towards ash's house full of laughs, smiles, teasing and telling stories about them.

when they arrived eiji was laughing but assuring ash it was perfectly fine that he was scared of pumpkins. yes, ash didn't want to give shorter the chance to tell eiji about _that halloween,_ so like the reckless punk ash is, he told it himself.

it didn't matter they spend the whole walk teasing each other. it didn't matter to ash that eiji laughed at him for _that halloween_, just like ash laughed at eiji for the time he broke his neighbour's window because he wanted to be like _the bad guys on tv. _

it honestly felt so safe and ash felt pure joy being with eiji. noticing the fact that they never, not once, stopped holding hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! :)


	4. i need you so much closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eiji goes to ash's house. 6000+ words of ash gay panicking.

it was weird, seeing eiji in his house. _ his house. _

but ash tried not to daydream when he had his dream in front of him. they were in the living room, and while ash was looking at eiji who was surprised with his wide angel eyes looking at what seemed like _ the- _

ash, _ thank god for his long legs, _ jumped in front of eiji and stopped him from seeing the pictures of baby ash. 

"aww! let me see! i bet you looked fabulous as a baby." eiji whined with a smirk. ash scoffed and blew his bangs off of his view. 

"no." 

"please! _ aslan _ , _ aslan _ , _ aslan _ , _ pleasee _." eiji repeated with that god damn voice. the voice that made ash's knees shake like hell. 

ash, still, was not having it. but was also a weak man who couldn't say no to eiji. 

"later." 

eiji rolled his eyes and started walking to another part of the house. 

it was amusing. how eiji walked like if he was the host and ash the visitor. he really didn't mind because it was eiji. but if someone else was lurking through his house like that…ash would have already told them to get the fuck out. 

"this is your room?" eiji woke him up from his thoughts and ash walked towards him. 

"uh, yes. do you want to come in?" ash asked awkwardly knowing it could have a double meaning. 

eiji, didn't thought too much about it for the way he nodded excitedly. "sure!" 

he and eiji entered his room. for the first time, ash was proud of the fact that it was pretty clean and organized. 

he _could never_ _stand_ being in it if it was messy, like shorter's, that's why his best friend was the one who always came to his house and not the other way. 

eiji looked in awe. ash didn't understand why but he wasn't going to ask the japanese to stop. it gave him tingles in his belly and he adored the pretty look on the latter. 

"i wish my room looked…_ like this." _eiji opened his arms showing the whole place. 

he started walking towards ash's desk where all his notebooks, journals, books and pens were, eiji gasped looking up and seeing all the vinyls pasted in the wall. 

"oh my god, _ aslan!" _ eiji looked at him with his pretty wide eyes and grinned. "t-this is paradise! green day, arctic monkeys, blink-182, paramore, my chemical romance…" 

eiji stopped saying each vinyl's band name and turned at ash and smirked. 

ash, _ trying to act cool _, gave him a side smile. "ha, what?" 

_ "did you have an emo phase?" _

eiji barked a laugh, like the one he did yesterday when ash was saying the whole do it thing. he still blushed a little seeing eiji didn't stop laughing. 

"h-hey! you must know everyone had an emo phase! it's part of life." ash tried to defend. 

"i'm not saying it's not! it's just…well. i pictured you with eyeliner, band shirt and spiky hair. it would definitely suit you." 

ash thought about it. spiky hair, he has done it with shorter, back on the first time they listened to blink-182. band shirt, he still has them. 

but eyeliner? 

"i did all, instead of eyeliner." 

eiji gasped. "no way! you should try it! all boys and girls will fall for you! like, it's probably an old thing, but hey! fanny packs were an old thing and now everyone in our high school has one so…" eiji turned back to the vinyl wall. "…you should use eyeliner once. you know, to try it out, it would fit on your _ im-in-a-punk-rock-band-and-hit-others-for-fun _ look." 

ash laughed, passing his fingers through his hair. "yeah, maybe one day. "

eiji seemed content with that answer and sat down on ash's chair. 

ash wondered, _ what now? _

"we could, watch a movie? listen to an album? i don't know. you wanted me to come." 

ash, _ wanting to slap his fucking self _, realized he said that out loud. 

"hm, we could-" 

"HOLD ON!" eiji yelled jumping off of ash' s chair and getting so close to him. 

ash could see eiji's eyes weren't black, but a _ very _ dark brown. 

"w-what?" ash asked shaking like a dumbass. 

"you haven't told me the story!" 

ash sighed and nodded. "wait here. griffin took a picture and everything."

ash heard eiji squeal and sat down, now on his bed and with those big doe eyes at him, ash couldn't help but smile gently and then leaving the room. 

_ now where the fuck is that camera. _

  


_ ______ _

  


ash groaned going to griffin's room for the third time and searching for that fucking 2007 pink camera. 

"do you want me to help you to find it?" eiji asked softly, totally noticing how ash was growing frustrated. 

"uh, yeah?" ash answered while being on griffin's room floor. knowing he already checked under the bed two times, but praying that a third time could be different. 

fucking heaven didn't agree because the camera wasn't there.

"how's the camera? what model?" eiji asked from what seemed like the living room. 

"uh, i don't know the model. but its pink! and one of those very small, very old cheap cameras? like, 2000's? griffin bought it on 2007 but we used it two years later 'cause we made a small trip to california on that summer." 

"aw! that's adorable! what was the reason? for the trip?"

ash stopped there. looking at the floor, but actually wandering to the horrible memories before that summer. 

he was in very deep when he felt a presence behind him and turning fast with scare. thinking he would find the face that ruined his life, but it wasn't. 

ash breathed hard seeing it was just eiji with a worried look. 

"aslan? aslan? are you okay? do you need something? should i call griffin? what do you want me to do?" eiji asked. 

ash noticed him get nervous for ash's state and felt horrible for making eiji feel that way. 

"n-no, just…_ just _ give me a moment." ash pleaded with closed eyes trying to remember some safe places inside his mind. 

how griffin sang transatlanticism. how shorter told him to take deep breaths. how jessica and max would dance with him. how alex dared him to play the drums and he the guitar. how michael asked him if they could colore a lynx together. how his mother held him in her arms the last time he saw her. how eiji laughed yesterday laying on the front yard listening to his imitation on shia labeouf. 

ash remembered all and started to come back time reality. opening his eyes he looked at the ceiling. he felt warm and calmer.

ash thought for a moment that eiji left. he probably realized how fucked up ash was. 

"hey, you're back, how do you feel?" eiji asked gently. 

ash stopped staring at the blue ceiling and looked at eiji who was still there. he never left. _ he was there, _ holding ash's hands.

ash wanted to cry because eiji was still there. 

knowing that could be worse, he just smiled softly at the angel sitting i front of him

"i am better." ash answered honestly. "t-thank you, eiji. for not leaving." 

eiji smiled just as softly. "i wouldn't…i won't leave, yes? you shouldn't go through that alone, only if that's how you cope better, but if i can help you just…tell me." 

_ was eiji real life? _ did someone as eiji really said that to ash? 

he thankfully always has griffin, then max and jessica, shorter followed shortly after and hell! even michael, nadia and alex were there for him. ash felt so glad that if he needed help he had _ them. _

and listening to eiji say that, he felt in heaven. it was so beautiful how eiji said it, so he smiled. 

"okay, thank you." 

eiji nodded, still not leaving ash hands, he asked. "do you want water? or just, rest here? do you want me to leave?" 

"no! no…uh." ash coughed lamely. "if, if it's not a bother, you can stay here. and yeah, i kinda want water." 

eiji smiled and standed up. "come on then!" 

ash whined. the floor was kind of cold but eiji's hands warmed him enough. he wish eiji could never stop holding his hands. 

"what? do you want me to lift you?" 

ash would've said yes if it wasn't for the fact he preferred to hold eiji's hands, so he justified it by whining again. 

"you're a big _ baaaaby!" _

ash laughed a little and so did eiji.

he was completely smitten with everything eiji said, it was surreal how much power he had on ash.

_ "comee onn! _ i won't stop holding your hands but you _ need _ water." eiji said like if he knew what was going through ash mind. 

it was odd and ash blushed a little realizing eiji knew he didn't want to stop holding hands. 

he really was a big baby. 

eiji cheered when he standed up. and like he said, not leaving ash's hands, they walked towards the kitchen. 

ash rapidly took a cup and filled it with water, drank it all in one big gulp and took eiji's hands again and went to his room. 

"well, that was fast." eiji chuckled, both of then sitting in ash bed. 

ash knew it was just because he didn't want to stop having eiji's hands in his. he felt guilty but didn't regret it. _ at all. _

_ how could i? _ he thought. _ we're talking about eiji okumura here. _

"i'm sorry, for asking that. it wasn't my place to say." eiji apologized. 

it was true. that was why ash felt he was losing his ability to breath. but eiji didn't knew what happened, _ it wasn't his fault. _

"don't worry about it." was all ash could say, wanting to leave that moment behind. 

"i'm here, okay? we just became friends yesterday but i already care a lot for you, yes? if you need something just ask." eiji repeated his words, this time stronger and it made ash _ so joyful. _

and did eiji really say _ he cares a lot for ash? ash? a lot? _ash grinned.

_ eiji cares a lot about me. _

he wanted to ask eiji if he could say that again so ash could record it and listen to it every fucking time he wanted. 

but he would never ask that so he replayed that sentence in his head, _ again, again and again. _

"i-i care a lot about you too, eiji, a lot. and if you need me, say." ash responded gently looking at eiji's face. two roses appeared on his cheeks and ash wished he could kiss both. 

"i will." eiji promised making ash smile. 

"do you want to do something? i think i just waisted like, twenty minutes with that fiasco." 

eiji denied. "no, don't call it that. you didn't waste shit so shut up." 

ash grinned and so did eiji. 

"so, i don't really want to leave here, we could just…listen to a vinyl and talk?" eiji asked. 

ash nodded excitedly. of course, they could do that, _ they could definitely do that. _

"i'm sorry i don't have death cab for cutie vinyls." ash got up and started to search for an album. 

"it's fine but we have to do something about it." ash grinned, imagining him and eiji going out to buy death cab for cutie vinyls. best date he could ever ask for. 

"i will guess you listened to them. what songs did you loved most?" eiji asked fast and full of joy interrupting ash's daydream. 

"i just listened to transatlanticism. but i think fell hard for a lack of color a-" ash admitted.

"i knew it! _ god! _ it's her power, aslan! she's superior." 

"hold on, transatlanticism herself is also pretty amazing, she's superior for me." 

ash remembered griffin telling him that max also loved that song and felt the need of rolling his eyes for when max founds out he and ash share a passion for the same song. 

"hell no, she may be amazing and all but five minutes of just _'i need you so much closer'_ _god._ i only listen to it if i want a lullaby to sleep." 

ash laughed. "five minutes? that's definitely wrong, perhaps three." 

eiji shook his head. "no, aslan, five, _ f i v e." _he spelled with a proud look. 

"well, what's wrong with long songs, huh? need to remind you our lord and savior jesus of suburbia is nine minutes long, _ nine!" _

"but nine minutes of story, aslan! nine minutes of words that say so much truth! i thought you were better." eiji teased and ash rolled his eyes. 

he took the chosen vinyl, put it on the record player and sat on the bed with eiji. 

"whatever you say, _ darling." _ ash said closing his eyes and waiting for the song to start. 

"what vinyl did you- _ oh." _

ash smirked_ . "oh." _

the masterpiece of ash's favorite album to ever exist started. 

with that loud guitar and strong words, american idiot began. 

"i will never get tired of listening to this." eiji sighed with a smile. 

"this was the first song i listened of them." ash remembered. "i think i was, i don't know, eleven? griffin is the one who showed me all music i know now and one day…one day we were cleaning the house and he put mtv and american idiot started." ash remembered with a smile. "he was shocked. 'cause you know, mtv plays shitty songs now, it was weird hearing punk rock. but i was shocked because, _ who in the world _ would be playing when green gross looking water was pouring from all over the place." 

eiji started to laugh hard and so did ash but ended it with a grin remembering it. that was a day that changed, _ everything _. 

"that would be funny to see, i also ask why they decided to use that." eiji said with a look that ash knew he was also thinking about the music video. 

"what's the first song you listened?" ash asked curiously. 

eiji smirked, got up from the bed and marched towards the record player, and increased the volume right when the first song was finishing. 

"_ now _, aslan, stand up for our national anthem." 

ash barked a laugh and did as told. both of them waiting hungrily for the very known beginning would start. 

and so it did. both eiji and ash not giving a fuck, screamed at the top of their lungs the lyrics they knew so damn well. 

ash felt overjoyed here. forgetting the world for nine minutes. looking at eiji who acted like if he was billie joe armstrong. screaming whatever a rockstar would scream, making the guitar and drum movements and also jumping like if he was in the centre of a pit. 

ash adored it. loving every second of their performance. he was also singing the lyrics and dancing like how the melody told him to. but he never saw _ that passion _ on someone else like he saw it on eiji. 

it was pure love and rage to the song. it was understanding what it was saying. it looked like they both felt the same way the punk rock opera said. 

ash connected with eiji though this song. it was then when ash could see the universe behind those eyes he loved quite a lot. 

it seemed eiji felt the same way. grinning at ash all the time and looking at his eyes. yelling the words of that masterpiece they both worshipped for years. 

"this is my favorite, hold on." eiji said breathless and ash nodded knowing fucking well what eiji meant. 

he couldn't help but sing like if he was on a performance. the calming and soft part of the long song touched him every time. _ every single time. _

ash, _ being so in it, _didn't notice when eiji stopped dancing and singing and stared at ash for the whole part. 

opening his eyes, ash looked at eiji's shock face. but in one second that shock turned into a gentle smile and those so dark but oh so wonderful eyes _ shined. _

"you sing…you sing beautiful." eiji admitted, his cheeks pink but didn't seem like he care. 

a lot of people had told that to ash, but saying it made him feel completely wholesome. those angel eyes didn't seem the type that would lie about something like that. 

ash couldn't fight the blush that appeared on his sweaty face. 

eiji just told him he sang beautiful and ash was over the moon. he felt so invincible, he thought _ fuck it _and grabbed eiji's hands and made them both spin like kids.

eiji's grin became laughter of happiness. ash himself was also laughing looking at the other, making his heart beat so fast because eiji looked so beautiful, so careless, so ethereal and enchanting. ash didn't want this moment to stop. 

but it did. the moment jesus of suburbia ended and holiday started. 

"so…" eiji started completely out of breath. "…that was the first song i ever listened of them." 

ash howled in joy and laughter. 

______

"so…you didn't notice that billie was behind you." eiji stated with furrowed brows. 

"well, no, it was griffin who told me." 

they were both laying on ash's bed. making ash pinch himself every two seconds because after minutes of being together in this position he still couldn't believe it. 

and while they were listening to the last song on the album, ash started telling eiji how he met the singer of their favorite band. 

"and what did you say? when griffin told you." 

eiji seemed _ so into the story _, looking at ash completely marveled and happy, ash wished he could take a picture right there. 

but he _ could never, _ so he kept talking. 

"i remember wanting to cry to be honest." ash smiled. "like, my hero was in a table _ behind me. _i knew he used to go sometimes to that café when he was in new york. but how should i react when he came the day i also went. i was…i was going to yell right there." 

eiji chuckled. "i know i would have. so what did you say? what did you do?" 

"i turned around and he looked at me. i was like, thirteen and short as fuck." ash grinned. "he said something like hi and i just stared at him absolutely starstruck. like, there he was, right in front of me…and all i could say was i love you." 

eiji stared at him, his mouth twitching. ash sighed, knowing exactly what was coming. 

"d-did y-" eiji couldn't keep going, he started laughing. 

ash wanted to just stare at eiji's face in laughter but they were too close. he didn't want to ruin the moment so he scoffed. 

"hey! i want to see you try to say something better! even if i was thirteen i said more than you could dream of with your bad english." ash teased. 

but now eiji scoffed with a smile, hitting ash softly on the shoulder. "hey! that's mean and you're a hypocrite!" 

"hypocrite?" ash wanted to laugh.

"yes! you said yesterday in class that i sounded, _ adorable _." eiji teased back. 

ash knew he couldn't win this. he couldn't give a fuck about it, it was worth it by seeing eiji's cheeks look like pretty pink flowers. 

so he just sighed. "shut up." 

eiji shook his head trying to hide his laughter. "we're getting distracted again! what happened after?" 

ash sniggered remembering. "he widened his eyes for like a second but then smiled and said he loved me too!" 

eiji cooed. "awww! that's so cute! oh my god, so cute, so so so-" 

"cute?" ash smirked. 

eiji rolled his eyes stopping his fangirling. "no, ugly, ugly as fuck, keep going." 

"griffin stand behind me and told billie i was starting to learn the guitar. billie seemed happy about it for how he reacted. then told me _ 'you should never stop, this is how you can express your voice.' _ at that moment those words were, everything to me. i wanted to say something else, but they called him and griffin asked him if we could take a picture and… " 

before this, ash sended a message to griffin while they were listening to letterbomb. he answered fast and eiji was laughing when they went back to griffin's room and ash took the goddamn camera that was hanging on the doorbell. 

"we're very dumb" ash muttered grabbing the small bag and taking out the camera.

"say that for yourself! i didn't came here to search it." 

the blond just sighed and they went back to his room. 

after that ash decided to show the picture to eiji until he finished the story. and that's where they were now. 

"this is the picture?" eiji whispered looking at it. 

ash smiled a little. "yeah, you can see that griffin was shaking while taking the picture." 

"it's, lovely, _ so lovely." _ eiji muttered more like to himself than to ash. 

"yeah." ash stared at the boy that was grabbing the small camera with shaky hands and a delightful smile. "it's lovely." 

  
  


______

ash and eiji were watching green day's concert on woodstock 94 when griffin arrived. 

"im back!" he yelled. his arm grabbing what seemed bags of take-out food and the one he used for work. 

ash got up fast from the couch and went to help him, completely freaked out because he forgot to tell his brother they had company.

"how did it go?" he asked taking the take-out food bags and putting them on the kitchen counter. 

griffin just sighed and sat down on the couch. next to eiji. 

who seemed surprised with the presence of ash's brother and got up fast bowing a little to griffin with a genuine smile. 

"hello! im eiji, hope i'm not being a bother right now." 

griffin's mouth fucking fell. he gave a quick glance at ash, probably asking if this eiji was the same eiji ash always talked about. 

_ of course he fucking is, _ ash wanted to scream but simply nodded shortly and griffin _ smirked. _

_ that bitch. _

"hi! and no! you're not a bother at all." griffin also stand up and shook eiji's hand. "im griffin, ash's big bro. do you want to stay for dinner?" 

eiji looked at ash nervously and then to griffin. "if it's alright? i really wouldn't want to impose." 

"not at all! we're both very bad at cooking so i brought kfc to eat, ash didn't told me we had _ guests." _ griffin stared at ash's eyes waiting for an explanation but he just rolled his eyes. "so i don't know what do you want to eat…" 

eiji nodded a little. "it's fine! i like kfc." 

griffin smiled. "great! ash will you help me with the food and, _ stuff?" _

ash narrowed his eyes, what did griffin wanted to talk about? 

_ and why now? _ didn't he saw that eiji and him were having a good damn time? 

he wanted to whine like a brat but just nodded and looked at eiji. 

"i can help you with preparing the table?" eiji suggested but ash denied. 

"it's fine, you can keep watching the concert. i'll help griffin, you're my guest after all." 

to be honest ash thought eiji would refuse and ask again. 

he definitely didn't saw coming eiji sitting down at the couch again and put play to the concert. 

"can you bring me a glass of water then?" eiji asked with a smirk. 

ash scoffed showing eiji his middle finger. "yeah, that's definitely something i won't do, fuck you." 

eiji, surprising ash for the second time in a expand of thirty seconds, showed his middle finger back at him. 

"fuck you, you bad host." 

ash rolled his eyes and was about to respond when griffin shouted him to go to the kitchen. 

eiji giggled like the cutie he is and told ash he should go. 

"i don't take orders from you or anyone!" ash exclaimed. 

eiji just smiled. "sure thing, _ aslan dear, _ go help griffin yes? you don't want your guest to die from hunger."

_ someone has been learning from yut lung. _if this wasn't eiji someone else would have definitely die, but not from hunger. 

so without giving the boy the satisfaction of ash responding something, probably very stupid and lame, he just left and went to the kitchen. 

"there you are! i thought you would want to stay with your guest." 

"he's a complete devil, griffin, i thought i was sarcastic but he…he's on another level." 

griffin whistled. "what did he had to say?" 

ash, like the smitten stupid he is, blushed. "nothing." 

"you, aslan jade callenreese, on the streets ash lynx, just blushed, _ for nothing?" _griffin chuckled. "and here i thought you were some kind of gang boss." 

"i fucking wish." ash thought, that would be cool. ash lynx, the best gang boss on new york city. 

"fucking language!" 

both of them laughed hard at that. 

ash was about to tell griffin what he and eiji have fine the whole day when eiji arrived to the kitchen with an apologetic smile. 

"aslan, can we talk?" eiji seemed a little nervous making ash a lot more nervous. 

"sure." 

both of them left the kitchen and ash waited for eiji to speak. 

"i just got a call from akira, i have to go back." 

_o__h_. 

ash really tried to not make a face. he shouldn't make a face. he should nod and be understanding. 

but he couldn't. he knew akira was hiding something he said eiji. he knew akira was cheating on eiji and that made his nerves go on fire because he just wanted to scream to the face he liked that his girlfriend wasn't what he thought she was. 

he has to wait. but it hurted. it hurted so much ash didn't knew how he could deal with it before, now that eiji was here, ash was too selfish to let him go. 

ash wanted to believed he was better than akira, but him hiding that secret reminded him that that wasn't the case. at all.

and while eiji didn't knew what was akira hiding, he was going to leave his house. ash couldn't do shit about it. he had to stick to the plan. 

"aslan?" 

ash looked at eiji. _ fuck, _ he hasn't responded. 

"oh, sorry, it's fine, if you have to go it's fine." ash muttered. cursing internally 'cause he knew he sounded upset. 

eiji smiled sadly. "i'm sorry, i really wanted to stay but…" he sighed. "akira hasn't been feeling good, for a while, she's homesick most of the time but also doesn't want to go back to her parents, it's…complicated." 

well. ash didn't fucking knew _ that. _

he tried not to change his opinion on the girl after eiji admitting that, still, ash wondered if she was alright. 

if there was something ash knew was the feeling of homesickness but also not wanting to go back, he could understand that. 

he just didn't knew if it was one of the reasons akira was doing what she was doing. 

"is…everything okay? like, back in math the air was very tense." 

eiji sighed and nodded. "like i said, complicated. akira has big trust issues and is always defensive. the first time i met her she snapped most of the times i said something. i thought she hated me." he chuckled. "but days later she explained it to me, apparently she has never had the chance of doing that, everyone has an assumption about her and never asks deeper. apparently i was the first one." 

well, there _fucking_ _goes_ ash's state of mind. 

he didn't realized about it until now. but ash also used to act that way back in cape cod and the first months when he and griffin came to new york. he didn't knew what was going on with akira ibe. 

he used to have this idea about her. but now it was completely crushed because he just didn't knew what the fuck was going on. 

of course, whatever that was happening shouldn't justify her cheating on an angel like eiji. 

ash just wanted to know if it was an act of teenage hormones saying _ why the fuck not? _ or there was something else, _ deeper. _

"i'm sorry." was all ash could say. 

"don't be, it's not your fault. we may have petty arguments but i still want to be there for her, you know?" 

ash did know and that hurted. a lot. "yeah." 

eiji received a call, he answered and started talking in soft japanese. 

ash wanted to consider himself a fan of listening to eiji talk in his mother tongue but he knew that was not the time now. 

eiji hanged up and grabbed his backpack. "akira is here." 

ash coughed hard. what the fuck. _ what. the. actual. fuck. _

_ fuck everything _ he was thinking what was akira doing here? in his house. 

eiji seemed to notice ash getting nervous. "she just came for me don't worry. i'm going to leave now." he explained with a shaky voice. 

eiji started walking towards the door but ash rapidly grabbed his hand, softly. he turned around and look straight to his jade eyes. "what?" he asked gently. 

so ash tried to explain what was the mess inside in his head. "i-i, i saw you seemed sad after your argument, with akira. she may having a bad time but snapping to you isn't nice? i don't know. i don't know her. but i know you, eiji. i don't want you to feel upset or sad thanks to her and do stuff you think you have to do because you're his boyfriend. do you know what i mean?" ash asked since he just babbles the fastest he has ever done. 

eiji nodded with a sad look. "i do. you don't have to worry about it. i care for her so helping her when she doesn't feel good is what i want to do. i get where you're coming from and i appreciate your concern. but like i said, you don't have to worry about it it and like i promised, if i need something i will tell you, yes?"

"yes." ash whispered looking at the floor. 

"hey…" eiji grabbed his hands and moved some of the bangs off of ash's face making jade meeting brown and both smile softly. "it's fine. we'll see each other tomorrow yes? you have a show to prepare for! you need to rest." 

ash laughed with a blush. "it's eight pm, eiji. i'm not going to sleep for a while." 

"i never said you have to, just rest. go have dinner okay? we'll talk later." 

ash nodded. "okay, see you tomorrow eiji." 

eiji smiled. "see you tomorrow, aslan, please apologize to griffin on my behalf yes?" 

"i will." ash affirmed. 

without a last look, eiji left the house, leaving ash's hands and heart a little cold. 

_ it's fine, i'll see him tomorrow, god, why am i so clingy, he has a girlfriend for fuck sakes. _

ash went back to the kitchen where griffin was already sitting on the table eating. 

"where's eiji?" 

"he fucking left with his girlfriend." ash answered blunt. 

griffin just sighed. "ash, you knew what you were getting into when you knew he had one." 

"yes but i didn't knew that-" _ that he was going to become something more than a crush, that eiji actually cared a lot for akira and wasn't looking for something else. _ "i just thought it was going to be different."

"ahh, ash." griffin looked at him and tried to soothe him with taking his hand and pressing it lightly. "i'm sorry, i know you really like the guy." 

"i just, i just don't know what to do, griffin. what should i do?" 

griffin thought about it for a few seconds but then widened his eyes and grinned. 

ash didn't knew what the fuck hit his big brother in the head for him to look like that. "what?" 

"sing! choose a song and expression your feelings with it!" 

okay that wasn't a bad idea...at all. 

"what should i sing? god, griffin, the show is tomorrow! i can't just change the setlist drastically like that! shorter and alex would fucking kill me." 

"then just add one song! c'mon ash, you're a smart kid, you'll figure it out in less than twenty four hours. besides, it's better to ask forgiveness than permission right?" he said the last part with a smile making ash smile back. 

griffin just always knew what to say it was amazing how he could calm ash's nerves every time. 

"alright, i'll tell the guys, what song do you suggest me to sing?" 

"glad you finally asked!" griffin got up and connected his phone to the speaker and a beat that ash has never heard before started. "not gonna lie, the moment you came to me and poured all of your situation with this boy i thought of this song." 

ash drank all his water glass. "well, let's fucking hear it." 

griffin sat excitedly when a guitar started, loud, but with a path. ash widened his eyes when a piano sounded too. 

"we don't have a pianist." 

"shh! just _ listen _ to what he is saying." 

ash rolled his eyes but did as he was told and listened focused. 

but was in shocked and grinned hard when he listened to what seemed a great song to express his thoughts at the moment. and also all the ones he has been accumulating when he saw eiji for the first time. 

"this is perfect." ash felt breathless. "it's amazing! griffin! that just happened!" 

griffin laughed noticing ash's happy energy. "it did. what do you think?" 

"were going to play it. we definitely will." ash stated with determination on his eyes. 

"_atta boy!_ that's the feeling!" 

"thank you griffin." ash couldn't help but hug griffin trying to make it short but his brother didn't seemed to let him go. 

"it's alright. i'm always here okay?" 

ash smiled. "i know. but can you let go? i need to talk to shorter and alex." 

griffin scoffed but let him out of his arms. "okay go. did you do your homework?" 

ash didn't but griffin didn't have to know that. 

so he just left the kitchen with nothing else said. griffin yelling at him he should start it now or he wasn't going to let ash play. 

ash would've just laugh if he knew it was a lie. 

but no. griffin did that one time when banana fish was going to play at the mall. shorter and alex blaming it on ash and ash cried all day hugging his guitar because what the fuck griffin. 

so he grabbed his books and started his homework angry, but also knowing it was for the best. he didn't want that to happen again. 

still he was talking to shorter and alex about his new idea. 

  


** _two dollar ash: Bitches, Assemble._ **

** _shorter dirty whore: yo _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: how did it go with eiji_ **

** _two dollar ash: Beautiful. Until fucking_ **

** _ Akira came for him. _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: shit_ **

** _two dollar ash: I don't want to _ **

** _ talk about it. but I have an idea. _ **

** _alex 50 eggs: what_ **

** _ two dollar ash: Can we add a song? _ **

** _two dollar ash: To the setlist. _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: why the fuck not_ **

** _alex 50 eggs: sure which one_ **

** _two dollar ash: I'll send the tabs later, _ **

** _but we need a pianist. _ **

** _alex 50 eggs: we can play it without piano? _ **

** _t_** **_wo dollar ash: No._ **

** _two dollar ash: We need a piano._ **

** _ I know how to play it, but what will_ **

** _ happen with the guitar? _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: have an idea_ **

** _shorter dirty whore: you probably _ **

** _won't like it but it's better than you multi-tasking _ **

** _two dollar ash: What? _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: i have a cousin,,,, _ **

** _two dollar ash: I assume he is _ **

** _who I think he is _ **

** _alex 50 eggs: who_ **

** _alex 50 eggs: can he play the piano? _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: well,, the kid has_ **

** _guts and is a freshman _ **

** _learns fast and can definitely _ **

** _help us with this song _ **

** _alex 50 eggs: it's fine by me, _ **

** _what's his name? _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: sing soo-ling it's pronounced s h i n g_ **

** _alex 50 eggs: how funny_ **

** _shorter dirty whore: shut up and go_ **

** _ to work old man_ **

** _alex 50 eggs: fuck off i just finished_ **

** _ my shift_ **

** _shorter dirty whore: well that's fucking fantastic isn't it_ **

** _two dollar ash: Shut up. Both of you. _ **

** _two dollar ash: Shorter, ask Sing if he_ **

** _ can play with us and if he _ **

** _can not go to school tomorrow. _ **

** _alex 50 eggs: what _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: what _ **

** _two dollar ash: We're going to need the t_****_ime _ ** ** _for learning the new song with someone _****_new. We need the whole morning. _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: fine by me i hate school QJFJDJSJSSJFK_ **

** _alex 50 eggs: i don't have classes either so it's fine _ **

** _t_ ** ** _wo dollar ash: Perfect. At ten we'll_ **

** _ be at Alex's house. _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: just asked sing and said yes so it's cool_ **

** _alex 50 eggs:okay goodnight bitches _**

** _shorter dirty whore: are you already going to sleep old man? _ **

** _alex 50 eggs: not all of us are seventeen and leaving on their sister's roof i have rent to pay _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: boo hoo you whore, you won't worry about rent when we're selling arenas_ **

** _alex 50 eggs: but we're not selling arenas now so I HAVE to worry about rent_ **

** _shorter dirty whore: FUCK that hurtsss :c_ **

** _alex 50 eggs: life hurts, deal with it_ **

** _shorter dirty whore: fuck you go to fucking sleep you fucking old man_ **

** _alex 50 eggs: fucking fucking fucking, is that all you learn in school? _ **

** _t_****_wo dollar ash: He can say pillock_ ** ** **

** _too, watch out. _ **

** _alex 50 eggs: W H A T_ **

** _shorter dirty whore: GOOD NIGHT _ **

** _LADIES SEE YOU TOMORROW _ **

ash chuckled putting his phone off and laying on his bed. he looked at his side, remembering with a smile that eiji was there not too many hours ago. 

even if it was ruined a little by the whole akira thing, it was also thanks to it ash was getting real excited about the song they were going to add. 

it really fit with how this whole situation made ash feel, he wondered if eiji could notice that. he wished he does. 

tomorrow was the day. the day they allow been waiting for since tuesday. tomorrow was going to change everything. 

that is why ash needed to do that. if eiji ends up breaking their friendship with the three at least ash would've told him how he felt, and with that it was fine. 

not really but ash hated begging and would have to accept whatever decision eiji does tomorrow after their show. 

ash closed his eyes with his legs trembling and heart beating fast. he was getting too nervous and knew griffin would've already went to sleep so he just played the song that helped this morning. 

he sighed calmly and went back to those memories he had from hours ago, when eiji was by his side. 

it made him feel better and safer. it was going to be okay. they were going to be okay. 

looking at the shiny pale moon ash hoped that eiji would be okay. he saw the sad look the japanese had when he left the house. 

he wanted to remind that to eiji, that it was going to be okay. perhaps that way he could see those angel eyes he loved so much calm and safe, just like they always should be. forever. 

but he couldn't do that now. ash didn't want to admit he felt a little tired and sleepy so he closed his eyes trying to rest. tomorrow was a big day. 

ash could only hold onto the thought that eiji wasn't going to stop talking to him. 

he wanted to surprise eiji, he wanted to make eiji dance careless just like they did while listening to american idiot. he wanted to make eiji feel something through his words. 

but for that to happen, he needed to sleep now. 

so he kind of did, saying a small _fuck it_ and sending a message to eiji, hoping he could see it. 

ash grinned hearing a notification pop. 

** _aslan: Good night, hope everything_ **

** _ is alright now. _ **

** _eiji darling: gn!! it is alright, tysm_ **

** _rest now please_ **

** _aslan: I will. See you. _ **

** _eiji darling: see you tomorrow!!! :D_ **

ash smiled. that definitely calmed him a lot more. just like eiji said, he closed his eyes and _rest._

he needed the most energy possible. ash lynx had a boy to impress. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! :D


	5. peanut's heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sing has band practice with banana fish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was originally on the next chapter but it's already too long so i decided to separate it hh

sing hates waking up early. he just does. 

and when shorter arrived to his house at nine am with that loud-ass voice of his, sing wanted to make a hole in the ground and never see the light of day again. 

but shorter is smarter, and just when sing was about to lock his door the idiot slams it with a wolf like grin. 

"RISE AND SHINE SING IT'S TIME TO GO!" 

sing groaned loudly. why did he agree to this. why? 

even though, he was kind of grateful. if it wasn't for shorter needing a pianist for his gig tonight, sing would have woken up at seven. 

and he knew damn well seven is a lot worse than nine so he tried, failing at the attempt, of opening his eyes. 

"w-what?" was all that could come out. 

shorter laughed loud. how could he be so loud?

"get up, peanut, if we're late ash is going to kick our ass and i swear to god you don't want your ass kicked by that punk." 

sing sat on his bed with sleepy eyes. "why so early?" 

"you need to learn the song! besides you're a slow learner, peanut, we will need the whole morning." 

sing threw his pillow to shorter. he was _ not _ a slow learner. 

"nadia is just impatient." sing murmured making shorter snigger. 

"she really is, that's why i went for the bass instead, no crazy sisters chasing me for playing the wrong chord path." 

sing sighed, nadia did hit him with the towell if he was messing too much. thankfully, nadia _ adores _ him so she hits him softly. 

"what song are we playing?" 

shorter brushed his purple hair with his fingers. sing wondered if he would look as cool as him with purple hair. "dunno, ash didn't gave details. that's why you gotta leave this damn bed and get a shower! alex's house is far." 

sing rolled his eyes. "are you going to pay me?" 

now, sing thought he has heard shorter's loudest laughter. he wasn't prepared for the one his older cousin just did. 

"shut up!" sing said trying to cover his ears with a small blush. "i'm serious!" 

"ah, sing, sometimes i forget you're twelve." 

"im fourteen!" the _ audacity! _

"same shit. look, no. i don't think we're going to pay you. but! see this as…experience, yes! experience. your first time playing in front of a crowd with the best band in new york city and soon world! that's enough pay." 

sing wanted to hit himself for thinking it was worth it to not go to school one day just because he wasn't going to play ONE song with this local and bad band. 

actually, banana fish was his favorite band but that was something sing was going to keep to his grave. 

so he just rolled his eyes like the angsty teen he is. standed up and went to the bathroom to get a shower. 

"at least you have to feed me!" 

he could hear shorter's chuckle from here. "of course! anything you want, peanut!" 

  
  


______

  
  


this wasn't like shorter told him. this was complete bullshit! 

eating his burrito with an angry face, sing stared at the three members of banana fish. talking and joking about something sing didn't know because the moment he and shorter arrived, ash lynx gave him the tabs, sat him on the chair in front of the piano, put him these big-ass earphones and commanded him to learn the song. 

now, thankfully, it wasn't hard a song. sing has never listened to it before and from start knew it wasn't an original because banana fish has never played with a piano before. never. ever. 

it was weird. sing wanted to ask why they wanted to play this _ sweeter _ song but everytime he opened his mouth ash would tell him to keep practicing. 

he hated it but kept practicing as told because he couldn't help it! _ this is what happens when you meet your heroes, _ he thought. 

_ they take advantage of the fact you will say yes and make sure you do _ _ their__ tasks. _

sing looked back again and saw the three of them sitting on the couch, guitar, bass and drumsticks on the floor. 

this was bullshit! he couldn't stand this anymore and it was _ twelve _ am. 

"hey! what are you doing!" sing yelled trying to look and sound older than he was. 

the three of the stared at him as if they were caught red-handed. 

shorter was the only capable to answer. "just talking, peanut. how are you doing?" 

his answer was so chill it drove sing mad. 

"just talking? i've been here since ten playing the same chords and all you've been doing is talk! how do you plan on having a good concert if you're not doing anything!" 

he regretted the moment he said it and ash got up from the couch. looking at him with his head held high making sing want to pee at the sight. 

how could such a pretty face look that scary? sing needed answers. 

"do you know your part?" ash asked looking straight at sing's eyes. 

he gulped, loudly. "y-yeah, yeah. and all you've been doing is nothing!" 

alex grinned looking at the scene as if it was funny. "we're just calming ash's nerves, sing, he's the most stressed one about tonight's gig." 

now sing widener his eyes. ash lynx? nervous? he had to laugh! 

"yeah sure, i've never seen you nervous in my life!" 

ash looked at the guitar on the floor. "it's true. it's normal getting nervous for a gig, but i'm not exactly nervous about that." 

hold on. _ what? _

"what?" sing asked in complete confusion. 

shorter now also standed up. throwing an arm to ash's shoulders, shaking him a bit with a smile. "ash's _ darling _ is coming to to the gig tonight!" 

sing's already wide eyes widened more at seeing ash _ blush _. 

a real blush. an embarrassing blush. an_ i like someone _type of blush. 

sing knew damn well that type. only because he has them too from time to time. another secret he intended on keeping. 

_ "darling?" _ he asked looking at the two best friends. 

"n-no one!" ash yelled while shorter sniggered. 

"hey! i think you know him! you're friends with eiji right?" 

now what the hell. 

_ what. the. hell. _

sing wasn't stupid. first of all, he knew eiji damn well. he and sing hang out on recess because that's the only time of the day were he gets to see the older boy. 

second of all, sing _ knows _ the type of blush ash had the moment they mentioned darling. it all went to hell the moment shorter mentioned _ eiji. _

there weren't many eiji's on their school. hell, it's probable that eiji okumura is the only eiji there. 

and sing got the same blush ash had that moment they mentioned the new and _ so beautiful _ japanese boy. 

_ i'm fucked. completely fucked. _

so he looked at ash's jade eyes, hoping he would give him the answer he really wasn't looking for. 

"d-do you like eiji?" 

sing's poor little heart destroyed at ash's look. 

"yeah." 

it was silent. for god knows how many seconds, minutes, hell, for sing it was like hours. 

hours staring at ash lynx's face, hoping, it was just a joke. that ash lynx did not like eiji okumura. 

but he didn't hesitate the moment he answered. he didn't sound like he was lying or messing up with sing. 

if it wasn't for that alex and ash were there, sing would start to cry because he and ash lynx liked the same boy and sing, sadly, knew damn well the people he had liked before have never choose him. 

it hurts. sing also wanted to laugh at the thought he used to have. _ maybe i have a chance, with eiji. _he used to chant in his head every time he went to chat with the japanese boy. 

but now, knowing that ash lynx, the school's punk and heart robber also liked eiji? 

sing wanted to scream because it was now officially he could never have a chance of getting closer to eiji if ash was there. 

and yeah, sing kind of had an advantage because he had the balls ash didn't of going to talk to eiji the moment he saw him pass the first day of school. 

also the day that sing confirmed he liked boys. 

but sing also knew, thanks to eiji who he talked with, that he thought ash lynx (or aslan like eiji rathers to refer him as) was_ very cool. _

sing tried not to think too much about it but eiji doesn't usually, or has never, say that someone is _ very cool _, like, at all. 

he knew there was something there, more now than ever because eiji and akira weren't as close as they were before. 

if you asked him, sing was sure they would be over by winter break, even sooner, seeing how akira has been acting the last few days. 

it was strange, how eiji could deal with all that but that was one of the reasons sing really respected him. 

but all came down to that moment. ash confirming he liked the boy. eiji probably having a also a feeling towards the other. sing was going to have a headache if he kept thinking. 

so he sucked it up. this was no place to cry. 

he decided to smirked. "you do know he has a girlfriend right?" 

sing felt bad seeing ash flinch but the blond shuddered and nodded. "she's kind of a bitch isn't she?" 

he knew eiji didn't like people talking behind akira's back. but ash's response was so true sing couldn't help but nod too. "she only talks to me because eiji tells her to."

he also couldn't help but ask. "are you going to do something about it?" 

now alex and shorter were also staring at ash for an answer. his jade eyes flashes confidence the moment he grinned. 

sing could see now why all high school had a secret crush on ash lynx even though nobody had the guts to talk to him. 

"yeah. that's why you're here. did you read the lyrics? of the song?" 

"not really, i'm waiting for you guys to stop talking." sing 

ash nodded, grabbing his guitar a putting the black guitar pick on his mouth. 

"so, are we gonna play or what?" a cocky smile appeared on ash face, alex and shorter cheered and also went to their instruments. 

"alright. sing, i'm going to count and the moment i yell _ now _ you enter, yes?" ash said looking at him. 

sing smiled without determination, waiting hungrily to begin to pay. forgetting the thoughts inside his mind, focusing now on demonstrating, contrary on popular belief, how good he truly was. 

it took a lot of times for them to play in harmony, shorter always telling sing he was doing it amazingly. that helped him a lot to nod and start over. 

it was three pm when they finally played the song correctly. the four of them throwing their instruments and getting a group hug. 

"yes! if he do it like that tonight eiji will _ swoon!" _alex said with a smile. 

"don't say that or ash will have a heart attack!" shorter's chuckled putting his arm on sing's shoulder. "he's gonna _come on himself_ for how good we did." 

sing blushed a little at that while ash's eyes widened, he _ roared _. "WHAT THE FUCK SHORTER!" 

ash hit shorter on forehead, all of the now laughing. "i'll stop! i'll stop! _fuck! _ you're so protective! sing, how do you think eiji will react when he listens to the song?" 

he thought a second. the song's message wasn't fooling around. it said everything in true words. sing choked listening to the chorus for how real it was. 

he wasn't going to lie. sing felt the same way. 

but how will eiji reach when ash sings that he wants to be with him? 

"he will most probably be shocked and a blushing mess." sing answered with a soft smile completely smitten imagining that look on eiji. 

ash also smiled, also completely smitten. "yeah, that's true." 

"well! it's time to get ready, alex bring the clothes and the make up bag, nadia will get angry if i lose it." alex nodded and left the garage.

_ hold on. _

"_make up?!_ you never mentioned make up!" sing yelled getting away from shorter's arms. 

"aw peanut! you don't have to wear if you don't want to!" 

"what? why are you putting make up?!" 

shorter elbowed ash who was looking anywhere else that wasn't sing. "a little bird told ash he would look good with eyeliner…" 

_ a little bird? what the hell? _

"what the h-_ oh…" _

_ a little birds, my ass. _ sing thought _ . eiji said it. _

"oh is right." shorter smirked. "we're going to chang dai. nadia is going to put it on us, god knows we would look terrible if one one us do it." 

"all of you will wear it then?" sing asked eyeing the three of them. alex already here and having the bag in hand. 

"of course! solidarity is key if you're in a band!" shorter answered happily. "besides i will definitely look amazing with eyeliner, eiji is gonna be in my arms in cero seconds!" 

ash threw him a drumstick. "in your fucking dreams!" 

sing also wanted to say something but decided not to. everything would go downhill if they discover he also likes eiji and probably throw him out of alex's house. 

_ or worse, _ shorter would stop talking to him and sing couldn't never live up with that. 

"so what, sing? you're gonna do it or chicken out?" ash asked grabbing his guitar and putting it on its case. 

"i will!" he answered too fast. he was _ not _a chicken.

shorter grinned at that. "that's the spirit, peanut! you'll get any girl you want tonight with a good eyeliner!" 

he wasn't going to get the person he wanted, but was probably going to make him smile the moment he sees him playing. 

he smiled fondly, for sing, that was enough. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!!! :)


	6. the rock show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's showtime and finally, banana fish plays.

ash wasn't gonna lie. the process of getting ready for the show was probably the best part of the whole thing. 

besides playing, of course. 

he remembers _ that one day _ before their first show. ash and shorter went to walmart and bought new t-shirts and jeans. they cut and painted them all afternoon and when griffin arrived to his room he saw all the mess but laughed and told them they did a good job. 

ash felt proud. wearing his black without sleeves shirt that said 'banana fish' in white and ripped jeans.

like a badass punk, _ yeah,_ that's how he felt.

now it was different. it wasn't just shorter and him. besides, alex, sing, shorter and him were wearing different clothes right now. 

last week he and griffin went to the mall and bought today's outfit. that ash was feeling fire was an understatement. 

his brother was the one who suggested him the black turtleneck shirt. at first ash denied because he was going to sweat a lot. but when he put it on under the white shirt that said _ 'banana fish' _ tucked in black pants that had chains at the sides. 

he just looked so good it was out of this world. ash _ felt _ out of this world. it was so weird for him feeling good, comfortable and hot in something. ash had happy tears when he was paying for the clothes. 

"you're going to take everyone's breath away! you pretty bastard!" griffin said with a grin. 

he told ash before that he felt so glad he found _ the outfit _because he knew how hard it was for ash to feel comfortable in clothes that weren't the usual ripped jeans and basic t shirts. ash also had a grin the whole day because he felt grateful for having griffin. 

and shorter and alex! he sent a picture of him wearing the outfit and both guys responded ash looked _ hot as fuck. _

so when he left shorter's bathroom and walked towards nadia's room where the other four were, he couldn't help but grin hard. 

"OH MY GOD ASH!" shorter was the first one to look at him arrive, his mouth seemed like it was going to drop the floor.

alex also stared at him like he was a different person ."the picture you sent us didn't serve justice. you look _ so hot, _marry me."

shorter hit alex with one of nadia's pillows. "he's going to marry eiji! and if not…he's going to marry _ me." _ he winked at ash, who just rolled his eyes and looked at nadia making sing's eyeliner. 

"_ah, _stop!" sing whined getting away from nadia who grumbled. 

"sing i haven't made your left eye! you cannot leave to stage with just the right one! that's not very punk rock from you." 

sing rolled his eyes. "as if i didn't play the piano! beside im just playing _ one song! _ i don't know why i accepted this." 

"because you love me!" shorter sang horribly.

sing groaned. "just, _ finish fast." _

nadia nodded and continued applying the eyeliner. 

"is the stage ready?" ash asked while sitting down besides shorter and alex. 

"yep! we just have to wait for everyone to come." alex answered. 

ash wouldn't lie, alex also looked really good. with the eyeliner and also wearing black pants but with a black button up that had bananas. very good. _ too good. _

shorter giggled. "ash, how do my eyes look?" 

ash widened his eyes, just now noticing shorter _ also _ had eyeliner. with the white shirt without sleeves that said _ 'fish bone'_, black cargos and military boots. shorter looked ready to kick some ass. 

"holy fuck." ash whispered getting close to his best friends face that was grinning. 

"i told you, alex! he was going to say something like that." 

alex just chuckled. "you look ugly." 

shorter gasped loudly, putting his hand on his heart. "how dare you! i'm the hottest one here obviously!" 

"no, that's me." surprisingly that didn't came out from ash's mouth. 

sing was standing there both arms on his hips and a mischievous smirk. "now, how do _ i _ look?"

sing was just wearing a plain black shirt tucked under his ripped black jeans, with the eyeliner now on both eyes and his spiky hair, it reminded ash from when he also had fourteen. 

the three of them gasped and yelled at the same time it was scary. _ "SING!" _

"and here you were crying like a baby about how you didn't want to put eyeliner!" nadia said with furrowed brows but smiling. "you look _so_ _cute!" _she held sing's cheeks cooing_. _

_ "stop!" _

"you do, peanut! i may be the hottest but you are the prettiest!" shorter said smiling. 

sing just shrugged and pushed nadia away so he could sit down and looked at ash. "your turn." 

ash widened his eyes. forgetting he was the only one who didn't have eyeliner. 

_ fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck _

"do not hesitate now, bitch!" shorter yelled at him, probably noticing how ash stopped his punk with confidence act. 

"i'm not hesitating! j-just…thinking." 

"you're thinking too hard, c'mon." nadia patted his shoulder so that he could turn around. "this won't take too much." 

"it was your idea in the first place!" alex said with a pout.

"i know! i'm just, it's almost time alright? i'm getting nervous." 

shorter shook his head. "tsk, there's no reason to get nervous now. we're gonna have an amazing show, it's only seven songs, we can play all of them. we're looking fire and eiji will love it, i assure you he will." 

how shorter always managed to tell ash what he needed to hear? ash didn't fucking knew but it was a great blessing. 

so ash breathed, _ in and out. _ gave a nod to nadia who cheered softly and started applying him the eyeliner. 

"oh my god." nadia whisperer too softly. 

ash opened his eyes. that was fast. "what?" 

_ "guys! look!" _

the three of them standed up and went to give a look at ash. 

ash felt his cheeks blush because the four of them didn't stop staring. 

"fucking stop! this is creepy!" he yelled embarrassed. 

what was going on in these moron's heads? ash didn't comprehend that. 

"i'm not joking anymore, ash. the moment eiji sees you he's gonna dump akira's ass, i just know it." shorter said with a grin. 

ash smiled at that. "you think so?" 

"oh, i know so. more now than ever because yut lung will…" _ right, _ they weren't alone. "you know." 

ash nodded understanding. 

"what's going to do yut lung?" sing asked. 

_ fuck. fucking shorter his big mouth. fucking hell. _

"he's coming to the show, peanut!" shorter answered fast. 

"huh…" was all sing responded, suspicious. 

ash gulped hard. "well, how many minutes left?" he asked changing the subject. 

alex was about to answer when someone knocked the door. 

"come in!" nadia yelled. 

with a characteristic smile griffin entered the room. 

"griffin! i thought you were working." ash got up from the bed and went towards his brother. 

"YOU LOOK AMAZING!" griffin _ shouted_. _ loud_. "and no, as if i would be working on your first gig of october! besides max begged me to come so…"

_ "WHAT?" _

"oh my god is that _ eyeliner?!" _griffin sounded marveled but ash wasn't having it. 

"yes, is max here?" 

"it looks so good oh my-" 

"griffin!" 

"sorry! but yes. i know you get intimidated but dude has begged me for a while! why don't you want him see you play?" 

it was stupid really, but ash still looked at other place that wasn't griffin's face. 

"he says i sound funny when i sing." 

ash eyes widened hard the moment everyone started laughing _at_ _him_. 

"WHAT?" he screamed because really, what the fuck was up with everyone today. 

"ah man, i know you are a drama queen but that was the most stupid thing you have said. and you say a lot of stupid shit this days." shorter sniggered. 

_ what the f- _"shut the fuck up, shorter!" 

"it's true, lil bro! you know max is joking like the dad he is. you will shock him when he listens to you sing." 

"but why today!" ash yelled. 

"stop the whining! griffin, you usually wait until we go down, why are you here?" alex asked carefully. 

"oh yes! ash here didn't let me finish but max isn't the only one waiting…" 

ash's heart started beating hard. "is eiji here?" he couldn't help but ask fast. 

"oh, i didn't see him…but i did see a long row starting outside from chang dai and ending on the other street." 

_ what _

"you are joking right?" shorter asked with a nervous chuckle. 

griffin smiled fondly. "no, im not. look it for yourself!" 

no one hesitated. everyone ran towards the window on nadia's room and there, just like griffin said, a row of people. 

waiting for them. waiting them to start the gig. 

"holy shit." ash could hear sing whisper beside him. 

"this…we've never had this many…" alex said softly with his blue wide eyes. 

"no, i'm dreaming, nadia pinch- AUCH! alright i'm not dreaming." nadia hugged shorter with a smile. 

"it's what you deserve, this and more." she said, not only to shorter but the four of them. 

"i…how, when…" ash whispered still looking because minutes passed and people were still there. _ they were still waiting. _

  


it was so strange. everything started when ash wanted to learn the guitar when he was eleven. then, griffin taught him a little and sended him to music lessons so he could learn a lot more. 

it wasn't easy. the first times he tried to play a song was so hard, ash almost quitted. 

but he didn't. he was so grateful he didn't because it was on his first presentation, at a small café he remember, when he met shorter. 

the second he left the stage the eleven year old bastard that was shorter came to him and asked him if he wanted to be his best friend. 

ash couldn't help but say yes. 

since then they wanted to start a band, but on the time shorter was learning the piano. ash remembers shorter admitting him that he hated it. ash suggested he should learn the bass. 

shorter came to his house the next day with chang dai's takeout because _ "i just found my true passion and we need to celebrate." _

it's funny. how it all started. the real start. this summer when they finally stopped wishing to have a real band because they never had a drummer. 

but the moment ash heard alex play, he knew they found their third musketeer. he felt blessed by the universe because this was the last piece needed. 

a band he thought was only going to be a daydream _ started_. _ banana fish started. _and going back to the first time he performed with shorter and alex on chang dai, only six people were there. 

now, today. ash couldn't count the people. he was wondering if all of them could enter the restaurant. 

he wasn't going to cry. ash doesn't cry for this things.

but he wanted to, _ god, _ so many happy tears wanted to come out but he couldn't. eyeliner was there and he couldn't ruin it. 

"let's go downstairs to fix last details." alex said making everyone nod. 

"i'm going to the bathroom!" sing said rapidly leaving the room. 

"don't take too long, peanut!" shorter chuckled and everyone left the room. 

going down ash saw the stage. thankfully, nadia really loved them perform so over the summer she managed to make it bigger than it was originally. 

the drum set, guitar, bass, piano, microphones, cables and sound amplifiers fit there. there was even space for shorter, sing and ash to move around. 

"it's perfect." ash whispered with a fond smile. 

"ash!" 

_ fuck _

ash turned around and looked at max who had a smirk on his face. _ the motherfucker. _

"hey, max, what's up?" he said with a fake smile. 

"ah well, nothing. i know you think i will make fun of you but that's not the case, at all." 

"then why are you here? are jessica and michael also coming?" 

"uh no. you know michael doesn't do good in places with too much people." 

ash nodded understanding but smiled a little because before today_ 'too much people'_ wasn't something you could say about a banana fish crowd. 

he felt so proud he really was going to cry. 

"but…on august, griffin sent me a video of your performance in the competition on coney island and my friend, shunichi, saw it and told me he wanted to take pictures of your next show!" 

a screamed ripped ash's mouth. _ "WHAT?!" _

max smiled. "yeah, kid! he sometimes works on jessica's magazine. since we adore shunichi, she let him two pages of this month's magazine for an interview and pictures of banana fish!" 

ash stopped breathing for a second. a long ass second he had to sit down.

"what the fuck." 

max barked a laugh. "we didn't tell you because it was a surprise so, surprise!" 

ash looked at shorter and alex who seemed to heard the whole conversation with wide eyes and mouths on the floor. 

alex couldn't help but start crying. 

"oh my god i need to call my mom." 

"_what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck." _was all shorter could say while nadia hugged him tight. 

ash laughed still not believing shit. he looked at griffin who was sitting there with a smile. "you knew?" 

"of course! like max said, it was a surprise!" 

ash wanted to lay on the floor and cry just like alex was doing right now but the gig was starting in twenty minutes. 

"i don't know what to do." ash muttered making both griffin and max laugh. "shut up!" 

"ah aslan, don't think too much about it. it's not going to be a long interview, just the typical questions to know about the band." griffin said while rubbing his hair. 

"where is this shunichi?" ash asked nervously. 

"he's not here yet. he told me his assistant is also coming but with some friends so he's probably doing the interview after the show." 

"_cool, cool, cool_, that's cool." ash answered more like to himself. 

"it will be fine, ash! stop worrying." griffin told him. 

"yeah, we don't want you to faint or worse, _ vomit." _ max said with a smirk _ . _

"fuck off." ash said in a heartbeat. 

max just laughed because he's _ that _ max. "ah kid, getting on your nerves is too easy." 

ash was about to answer when he felt his phone vibrate. 

"IT'S EIJI." ash yelled for no reason. 

_ why am i like this_. he asked himself. _ fucking hell i don't even want to look at their reactions. _

so he didn't and just saw the three messages eiji left him. 

  
  


** _eiji darling: aslan!!! i didn't saw you today at school :(( it's ok bc yue told me you guys were gonna practice for your concert_ **

** _eiji darling: can't wait to see you! i have a big surprise you probably already know but still want to see your face! hahaha _ **

** _eiji darling: i think i will have to talk to you after the show…so good luck!!! success!!! break a leg!!! you'll do amazing, don't worry too much about it and just do what you love the most!! <3 _ **

  


"what does he say?" shorter asked looking at ash's face. 

that was probably about to cry fuck the eyeliner what eiji just sended to him was the best thing he has heard this day. 

"aww! he's so cute!" shorter cooed. "don't cry, stupid!" 

"i won't cry!" ash snapped back. 

  


** _aslan: Thank you, darling. See you in the crowd! <3 _ **

  
  


after sending a response he put his phone back with a smile. 

"he said he has a surprise for me." ash whispered like a little girl. 

"_ooo ohh, _ his di-" 

"shut up, shorter!" 

how could shorter be always so fucking gross, ash didn't knew. 

"who's eiji?" max asked wiggling his brows. 

"the boy ash likes." griffin answered fast. 

"_GOD, _why can't you all shut up?" ash groaned. 

"you're the one who yelled eiji so let us talk." alex said. 

ash turned around and saw him sitting on a chair while nadia applied him the eyeliner again. 

_ "crybaby." _ shorter hissed, alex showed him his middle finger. 

"okay, ten minutes, we have ten minutes." sing arrived to the scene. 

"you took a while, peanut." shorter said making sing hesitate.

"nervous popping, alright?" 

all of them laughed at that. ash felt now a lot better. 

"alright, pep talk now." ash clapped twice and everyone made a circle holding hands. 

  


"what is-" max was about to ask but griffin shushed him faster. 

"okay. we've been waiting for tonight's show for a while, exactly since september twenty four that was our last concert." alex started. "we have one new song and a cover to play today. both we will do fantastic so shorter you can stop fidgeting." 

shorter did with a chuckle. "heh, sorry." alex just shook his head and patted his shoulder. 

"sing, thank you for helping us today with the cover. we hope you can play with us after today." alex said with a grin. 

sing smiled back. "thank you, and i hope so too." 

"right. let's stop worrying or thinking too much about it. doesn't matter if we're appearing on a magazine this month or that around a hundred people are waiting for us. we're here to play the songs we love, the songs we believe in and the songs that are home to us. don't think who's on the crowd." this last part alex said it looking at ash. "just play what we want, what we love, what we believe in. we'll deal with the rest later, okay?" 

everyone yelled an okay back. "perfect! last words? anyone?" 

ash smiled. giving a look to the six people around him. each one of them helping him and being there for him. his family. even if jessica and michael were missing it was alright. ash knew he also had their support. 

(and eiji's, but the angel already send him good luck.) 

tonight's show was going to be the best they ever had. ash just knew it. even if after the show the interview was happening and also the whole akira thing. 

those things shouldn't bother him now. he would deal with it later. 

right now, he was going to play his heart out for the people watching and maybe eiji would see it too. 

so he pressed shorter's and griffin's hands that were holding him with a smile. 

"let's go play what we believe in." 

everyone cheered after that, giving last hugs, assurances and reminders that tonight would be amazing. 

thankfully. everyone there could feel that. hopefully everyone outside will too. 

  
  
  


______

  


"can you see eiji?" ash asked looking through the red curtain at the crowd of people that were standing in front of the stage. 

shorter appeared behind him humming. "hh…there he is!" 

ash's heart started beating _ fast. _"where?!" 

shorter pointed to the back of the restaurant where nadia was selling drinks. he now saw eiji talking to an old guy with a smile, ash melted completely a the sight. 

"fuck." shorter muttered. 

"what?" ash asked with an idiotic grin still looking at eiji. 

"akira is here." 

_ now hold the fu- _

_ "what?" _ash hissed with furrowed brows scanning the whole place, wanting to scream in fury seeing akira with a bored look next to yut lung, who was looking at his phone. 

almost two seconds later a notification popped in both ash's and shorter's phones. 

** _yeet lung: akira is here_ **

ash let a dry laugh while shorter replied. 

** _shorter dirty whore: no shit sherlock_ **

** _yeet lung: it wasn't on me, she begged eiji to bring here even if we all know she hates music in general_ **

ash wanted to cry because why was eiji dating a girl who hated music. he just sighed and kept looking at them. now eiji was next to both, giving a drink to akira who said something and gave him the drink back. eiji seemed surprised and sad about it so yut lung took it and drank it. 

"can we ask nadia if she can throw akira out?" 

shorter bite a laugh. "i _ fucking _ wish. yut lung says he think akira knows something and that's why she's here." 

ash cursed in his breath. his eyes widening at the sight of _ frederick arthur _ entering the restaurant. 

"now what the actual fuck." both shorter and ash said at the same time. 

ash didn't hesitate. "we _need_ to abort." 

"abort what? in five minutes we start." shorter said also worried.

"yut lung won't be able to show the picture to eiji if those two shits are here." ash answered. "what the fuck. they fucking know, shorter, they _ fucking know." _

"ash calm the hell down, okay? you don't have to think about it this now." shorter shaked both ash's shoulders. "god dammit, remember what yut lung said. it will happen what has to happen, alright?" 

ash wanted to retort but shorter was faster. "besides, don't you have a boy to impress?" 

"shorter, the boy i want to impress brought his goddamn girlfriend." he said with a blank stare. 

shorter chuckled. "and don't you think that would be better? the cover even says so! show akira who's going to steal his boyfriend. show eiji who _ he should _ be dating instead." 

ash couldn't help but grin. "isn't that like, immoral?" 

shorter let a hard laugh. "after akira cheating on eiji with arthur for weeks and still clinging to him as if she still loved him? _ that's _ fucking immoral. you wanting to serenade the boy you like, i don't think so." 

"you think so?" 

"i know so." shorter gave him a wink. "stop worrying, ash! we have a gig to play, remember?" 

ash nodded. they didn't have time for this now. it was showtime and he wanted to do this the best concert they ever had to this day. 

"let's go." 

shorter cheered. _ "let's fucking go!" _

alex and sing appeared a minute after, saying it was time. 

the chills, the nerves and every single tingle ash felt before going to stage was something he just adore having. it made him feel alive and unstoppable. 

not even arthur or akira could ruin this moment.

sing gave a last high five to each of them, he was going to enter at the second to last song.

the curtain opened and alex, shorter and ash entered to stage. 

the audience cheered and clapped making the three of them grin so hard. ash would never get sick of this. 

he felt completely overjoyed, giving a small look at eiji who looked back and waved fast. ash just smiled and gave him a wink. predictably, eiji blushed so angelic. 

ash looked at shorter and alex with a last nod, alex grabbed the trumpet and waited for ash to present. 

and so he did. "we are banana fish, and this is _ father." _

father was probably ash's favorite song to play live. the moment alex started playing the trumpet and how shorter and ash joins was something he really loved. 

besides it was the first song he ever wrote so extra kudos to that.

looking at the crowd, everyone was dancing or moving. some of them even joined ash to sing the chorus making his heart swell because they were singing his song. 

_ his song. _

it was now their song too, and that was the best part for ash. 

while singing he looked at the audience searching for the boy he liked…

…and there he was! eiji and yut lung changed place, now on the fourth line, dancing together and smiling. 

eiji's eyes met ash's for three seconds making ash forget for that time the lyrics, thankfully shorter sang with him so the moments he recovered shorter kicked him in the shin and winked at him playfully. 

ash just chuckled and kept playing. 

_ father _ transitioned to _ palm trees _ so fast snapping at ash to _ stop _ getting distracted. 

but it was so hard! playing and singing in front of eiji who couldn't stop looking at him _ that _ way, the same way he looked at him when he sang the _ 'dearly beloved' _ part from jesus of suburbia. 

pure adoration, eiji transmitted that while dancing and having fun with his best friend. akira and arthur nowhere to be seen. 

but ash didn't care about them right now. just like alex said, they continued playing whatever the hell they wanted. sometimes ash stopping the song so that the audience could sing with him _ 'hey-oh' _. 

during_ d'you have a car? _ shorter even jumped to the crowd ash felt a heart attack coming but thank fuck the people there caught him. fucking shorter kept playing as if this was normal and winked at eiji and yut lung who were looking at him, one completely awestruck and the other as if shorter was insane. 

it's obvious who was each one.

a lot of bands did that and ash understood now it didn't only make the crowd to participate but every single face in the room seemed so entertained and happy. 

ash's heart skipped a second and with a smile he couldn't help but promise himself that this was the reason he should always continue playing. 

this feeling. this was what kept him playing with pure passion and love. 

alex was the one with the idea to cover _ don't stop me now _ but with their own punk rock twist. it was amazing and the second ash started singing the very known lyrics, everyone, _ literally everyone _, started singing with him. 

shorter laughed at something on the audience so ash looked and also barked a laugh. 

_ oh my fucking g- _

the crowd of chang dai _became a mosh pit_. 

for a moment ash worried, knowing eiji was in the middle of the audience. 

he eyed the bunch of people and widened his eyes, _ hard. _

_ what the actual f- _

_ "_eiji is in the _ fucking _ mosh pit!" shorter yelled in his ear with a grin. 

and it was real. eiji and yut lung were holding hands. his darling was smiling and pushing others while yut lung was clinging to him trying not to get hit bad. which was impossible they were in the fucking middle of a mosh pit. 

it was hilarious and ash was trying to stop laughing while singing. but seeing eiji act as if this was where he belonged and yut lung just holding his best friend trying not to die. ash hoped this shunichi would take pictures of this moment. 

they made a smaller break to drink water, now the next song was one ash about eiji and he felt butterflies on his belly trying to get out because he was going to play it for the first time. eiji was going to listen to it for the first time. 

_ say you like me _ was originally a poem but alex helped him adding the second verse and shorter with melody. ash actually finished it on wednesday practice so they were all nervous about it since it was still very new and fresh. 

ash started playing the chords softly, shorter patted his shoulder, making him remember he wasn't alone and ash felt so glad he had him and alex. 

it would definitely be harder without them. 

so while playing the song ash tried to look at eiji and transmit what he needed to say. it was hard because eiji just couldn't stop dancing with yut lung.

_ you look so beautiful. _ ash thought_. but please look at me i'm showing my heart right now. _

yut lung seemed to listen what ash was singing because he smirked and whispered something on eiji's ear making him stop moving and stare at ash. 

ash's voice shook a little the moment brown warm eyes connected to his jade ones. taking a long breath he continued singing. 

_ "i'm never going down, i'm never giving up. i'm never gonna leave, so put your hands up. if you like me, then say you like me." _he sang to eiji with blush on his cheeks and a smitten smile. 

eiji seemed to listen what he said, those pretty cheeks tinted pink and ash for a second saw a glow on those angel eyes. eiji smiled back to ash and kept dancing with yut lung. 

for ash it was fine, the song finished lifting a weight and didn't remember having. 

he just sang the song he wrote about eiji, to eiji. 

_ what the fuck_, ash never thought that would happen, at all. he smiled like a proud idiot and gave shorter a glance who also seemed happy. 

for the first time playing it, it wasn't bad. 

ash looked at the crow and there was eiji still smiling at him, that glow never leaving. 

_ not bad at all. _

  


"alright, we're going to need help for this next song…" ash said to the microphone, every eye in the place looking straight at him. "ladies and gentlemen would you please give it up for the kid, the myth, the peanut, _ sing soo ling!" _

the whole place started cheering when sing arrived to stage looking at ash with angry written all over his face. 

"what?" ash whispered, away from the mic with a cheeky smile. 

sing didn't answer, just kicked ash's shin. 

_ what was up with sing and shorter hitting him on the shin what the hell. _

"ready, peanut?" shorter asked at sing who just showed his thumbs-up and nod. 

ash, trying to get over his shin pain said. "this is _ sweeter."_

now, if one pay attention to the song and whole situation about eiji they would know this song isn't entirely dedicated to eiji. 

more like to akira. who was now beside eiji. with a smirk, ash started singing straight to her eyes. 

to try to get the point crossed, of course. 

_ "you, you don't know how lucky you are. hanging with that boy on your arm, but soon enough i'm taking my show…" _

sing joined just as practice without any mistakes. ash looked at him, there he wasn't playing completely focused but also looked like he was having fun. 

maybe he could play with them another time. his piano really mixed smoothly with banana fish's sound. 

the whole crowd seemed to enjoy the song, it wasn't as punk rock as the other ones but the way _ they _ played it, everyone was still dancing. 

ash looked at eiji who was still moving like the beat, he felt a little bad seeing how eiji tried to make akira dance but she refused and was only staring at ash. 

he smirked again. _ she gets it. _

_ "i just wanna take someone else's holiday. sometimes the grass is greener and someone else's sugar, someone else's sugar sweeter." _

the song finished. ash was content at the sight of akira completely angry while eiji and yut lung clapped and cheered for them. 

ash couldn't believe how fast everything went. they were already on the last song. he knew they made short setlists for lack of songs and worried that everyone would leave but right now everyone -except akira- was having such a good time. 

ash even saw griffin with max dancing at the back and yelling louder than everyone else. 

he gave a look to alex and shorter who also seemed a little tired but ash could see how they also didn't want this stop. like, _ ever. _

"thank you so much for coming to the show." ash said with a smile. "would you please give it up for the spectacular and loudest drummer in new york city, _ alex!" _

alex made a small drum solo while everyone else clapped and cheered for him. 

"now, scream loud for the man of everyone's dreams…very known for his obnoxious talking and charming self…_mister shorter wong!" _

shorter just straight up laughed hard looking at the crowd who indeed screamed very loud. ash even heard eiji's _ 'shorter!' _ it was adorable. 

"and finally, cheer a lot harder for sing soo ling who helped us today with the piano!" 

sing blushed at the sight of every single person in the room who yelled and also clapped for him it was so cute ash understood why nadia, every chance she had, would squish sing's cheeks. 

with a small bow and smile sing left the stage. 

ash sighed, not wanting to leave but it was time. "alright, this is our last song…" all crowd groaned and yelled _ 'no!', _ash just chucked.

"thank you again for coming, we hope you enjoyed your time here." 

more clapping and alex started yelling. "one, two…one, two, three!" 

_ colours _ began and the crowd _screamed_. they all knew that one was their most popular song and since their first gig of the three, they decided to play at last. 

it was very catchy and alex was the one who came up with the beat. then all three of them helped with the lyrics and finally played it for the first time here in chang dai.

ash really loved the last part, it is when the crowd also starts singing. there were a lot of new faces but the words weren't hard. 

he felt completely proud seeing eiji singing. ash felt as if flowers grew from his heart. completely precious and beautiful. 

sadly, the end came and the three of them sang the last words. nobody in that place wanted it to finish so the whole restaurant erupted in cheering, yelling and clapping the second the song finished. 

alex and shorter standed side by side with ash. arms around each other's shoulders with big smiles and heavy breathing. 

it was such a good damn show but they were breathless and tired. 

very worth it though, nobody seemed to stop cheering for them. even sing who was next to nadia at the bar was clapping for them with a proud look. 

the three of them grinning hard when the people started yelling _ 'banana fish!, banana fish!" _

ash's heart was beating so hard, so grateful and overwhelmed with how much appreciation their small local band had. 

his eyes widened at the sight of griffin and max holding a 'BANANA FISH' handmade poster. it was very adorable and both of them seemed proud of it.

ash glanced at eiji who was also looking breathless but also clapping. ash smiled, _that was what happened when one just __didn't stop__ dancing. _ash felt proud at the fact that eiji had a good time on his first ever concert. 

the three of them gave a last bow and left the stage. 

"that…that was fucking awesome." alex said with a fond smile. "i'm fucking shaking, _ oh my god." _

ash couldn't help but agree. it really was fucking awesome. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> setlist:
> 
> father - the front bottoms  
palm trees - SWMRS  
d'you have a car? - SWMRS  
don't stop me now - the regrettes version. original by queen  
say you like me - we the kings  
sweeter - gavin degraw  
colours - grouplove 
> 
> ash changes the pronouns in sweeter and say you like me !!! 
> 
> thank you so much for reading!!! <3


	7. hold me tight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shorter needs a break.

after every show, shorter drinks a complete bottle of water, and with ash and alex highlight the best parts of the show. 

obviously, him going to the crowd during the third song (and his favorite because the _ fucking bass line? _ completely awesome if you ask him) was the best thing in the concert. 

he also really adored when they were playing the first cover and chang dai became a reading festival crowd. _ seriously_, shorter was a little worried because the people were going _ strong _ and tiny eiji and tiny yut lung were probably going to suffocate there. 

thank fucking god, they didn't. still, it was pretty funny seeing someone as adorable as eiji acting like if he was the motherfucking boss in the pit. kudos to the guy. 

and kudos to his best friend who fucking finally grew a pair and sang the song that was on his mind the moment he saw eiji. 

very fucking cute if shorter was honest. 

he really wanted to talk to alex and ash and brag the fact he fucking jumped to the audience. he was _ never _ going to shut up about it. 

shorter made a mental note to ask nadia if she recorded it. he wondered if his parents would be proud…probably scared as hell at seeing their son act so reckless but proud anyway. 

oh god he wasn't going to cry fucking now, _ no, no, no- _

_ "shorter!" _

and now who was fucking interrupting his meltdown. 

turning back there was alex with a towel on his shoulder, _ pouring _ in sweat. 

shorter tried not to gulp too hard because _ fuck _

okay he didn't gulp hard…but something could be, _ hard. _

fucking hell, he could feel ash's yelling at him for being such a _ whore _ for the guy that played with them. 

"what?" shorter asked trying to ignore all dirty thoughts. _ not fucking now shorter. _

"ash is waiting for us, we're gonna do the interview." 

"ah...yes, let's go." 

shorter walked up to alex and both left the backstage and went upstairs to shorter's living room. 

it was a blessing and a curse. having the house he shared with nadia up the restaurant. 

a blessing because shorter felt he was living in a fucking mansion. 

a curse because he had to clean. _ all _ restaurant _ and _ house. 

lovely nadia has always made him clean because she had to deal with the restaurant. shorter couldn't blame her but it was too much, ash, the fucker, joked he was a fucking housewife.

_ housewife my ass. _ shorter always responded. _ if anything i would love to be one if the house i shared was with alex… _

but fuck, he never said _ that _ . only thought about it like, _ every goddamn day. _

talking about the fucking devil. alex waved at him snapping him out of his fantasies. "you okay?" 

"yeah, just…tired." 

alex nodded. "they said it won't last that much so after it go to sleep, yes? you've been working all day." 

_ if you sleep with me i will. _

"aw, worried about me, old man? if anything _ you _ should be the one sleeping you know, your poor back…" 

alex rolled his eyes. "fuck off." 

they finally arrived to the living room. a guy shorter bet was sunichi was already there talking to ash and… 

_ "EIJI?" _

all eyes there went to shorter and alex in shocked at hearing both of them scream. 

_ what the actual fu- _

"hi, shorter!" eiji, _ the cute fucker, _ said with a soft smile next to ash. 

ash, _ the ugly ass fucker _, wasn't even subtle at throwing heart eyes at eiji. 

"what are you doing here?" shorter asked. 

"im ibe-san's assistant!" eiji said with a smile. shorter could see his best friend's knees shake. 

_ what the fuck ash. _also what the hell? 

"oh! you're ibe-san!" shorter remembered on wednesday eiji told them about him. "max presented you as shunichi, heh." 

shunichi-ibe-san, chuckled. "yeah, it's shunichi ibe but here ei-chan and akira calls me ibe-san." 

ei-chan and…_ AKIRA? _

and true to his word, shorter turned around and sitting on _ his _ couch was _ akira _. 

shorter wanted to throw up. what was akira fucking doing, sitting on his fucking couch. how dare she? the fucker even smiled at him when he looked at her. 

fucking hell, why the fuck they fucking decided to play in fucking chang dai, _ fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. _

shorter cursing stopped the second he remembered. _ the plan™ _

it went to hell the moment eiji said he was the assistant. how was yut lung going to show him the picture if eiji was here? being shunichi's assistant with akira by his side? 

fucking hell he should've agreed ash's decision to abort. 

unless yut lung already showed him the picture but it was impossible because eiji had a smile on his face and akira was still here. 

it was like a nightmare. shorter blink once, twice, lots of times. and akira was still sitting not on nadia's couch, or ash's, or alex's, or the guest one. she was sitting on _ his couch. shorter's couch. _

_satan,_ _am i in hell right now?_

"so…the interview…" ash said, stopping shorter's walk to insanity. 

"oh, yes! akira, can you please leave? i only need the band and ei-chan." shunichi-ibe-san asked. 

shorter would've straight up roared that she had to get the fuck out. but this shunichi-ibe-san, seemed like a good man who didn't fuck around. shorter knew that because even if his tone was soft, akira still obeyed and left the living room. 

not without giving eiji a light peck on his cheek. 

poor ash flinched hard at the sight. eiji just blushed and akira smirked. 

shorter trying to light up the mood, grabbed Alex wrist and made both walk and sit on the couch next to ash. 

thank god akira left letting his couch alone. everyone except eiji and shunichi sigh in happiness. 

_ i'm gonna clean you don't worry _. shorter promised to the couch. 

"alright, so the first thing i wanted to ask is how th-" shunichi's question was interrupted with a camera click.

eiji, the cute, blushed. "sorry! keep going!" 

shorter looked at ash who just smiled at eiji. 

_ not so subtle, ash, not at all. _

he elbowed ash's ribs snapping him out so he could respond shunichi. 

"ah yes. well, the idea of having a band is from like, waay back…" ash said with a smile and started telling the story of how banana fish started. 

since the moment shorter and ash met. to the first the blond wrote. to their first performance this summer. to how alex joined the band and the competition in coney island.

the competition shorter still felt bitter about. they won second place just because the first place went to the judge's daughter who sang the national anthem.

a very bad and poor choice on shorter's standards. ash sang way better than her. hell, even _ shorter _ could sing way better than that twelve year old. 

and something everyone who knew shorter could agree is that, he sing's pretty fucking bad. 

still, with all the passion he continues to do karaoke on the parties he goes, singing his favorite songs on the karaoke. 

_ cornerstone _ and _ country roads. _

ah, how much he wanted to sing one of those right now…

_ stop! _he was getting distracted again. 

"do you plan on getting signed to a label? or do you have other plans in the future?" 

ash waited too much to answer so shorter did it for him. "after ash and i finish high school we plan on going on tour." he answered knowing it was something the three agreed a _ long _ time ago. "we haven't had a label to reach us so for now we will do everything by ourselves." 

shorter saw eiji gasp with wide eyes. he could see why ash was so smitten about him. eiji okumura is truly pretty as fuck. and a lot more when he gets excited about music stuff. 

"will you release an album? or that's not on the plans for now?" 

"uh, we really want to release an album but we don't have enough songs. we're still very new and inspired right now so we hope it's out the next summer, maybe?" alex now answered.

it was true, shorter sighed. they still only have finished five songs. _ say you like me _ was literally out of the oven, a newborn baby. besides that one, they were working on other two that weren't any near done so it was going to take a while for them to have more songs to make an album. 

the idea of a banana fish album gave shorter the chills…he really wanted the band to work out. besides it, he didn't have any other plan. 

shorter knew ash was going to college and get a title to become a teacher and alex would finish college and work for a company or the radio if banana fish didn't succeed. 

he hated thinking about it. but also had too because nothing was ever a 100% assured and in any moment everything could go downhill. 

was he going to college? or would he work on chang dai? shorter didn't even want to think about it so he didn't. 

it was crazy how hard he got distracted with his thoughts. they were already on the last question. 

"anything you want to say to the people who read this interview?" 

"we hope they can come some day to one of our shows. when we go on stage…i think every person in the room forgets what's happening outside, in the world, and just focuses on having a good time. i think that's a powerful thing, it's how important music is for us and we want everyone to experience that." ash said. "besides who doesn't want to see this guys play? i for sure love watching them give music through their instruments." he said pointing at shorter and alex. 

"please! who doesn't want to see ash _ sing _ and _ play? that's _ powerful." shorter sniggered. "i'm kidding, please come to see _ me _ play and jump at everyone's faces." 

everyone in the room laughed at that. shorter felt proud to make the environment less tense and more happy. 

because they should be happy! today was the best show they ever played if shorter was honest. 

"thank you guys. i really hope banana fish gets more known with this, you all seem like smart and great kids. besides the passion you have on your music _ is there _ and with that it's enough for you to go places." shunichi said with a proud smile. 

shorter was going to tear up. nadia, griffin and alex's mom were the only people who said that kind of stuff and hearing that from someone they just met meant a lot for him. 

shorter couldn't believe how shunichi and eiji could deal with akira every day. hell, they deserved an award. 

oh shit, akira, yut lung, the photograph, _ eiji _. 

seems like shorter wasn't the only one thinking about it. ash stand up at the sight of shunichi and eiji collecting all their stuff. 

"are you guys leaving?" ash asked fast. 

"uh, yeah. it's late and i have to take eiji home." 

shorter and ash looked at each other for a second. 

_ they needed yut lung. _

an idea light both of their heads. 

"eiji can we talk?" shorter asked while ash was tapping something in his phone. 

eiji looked at shunichi who just nodded. 

"i'm going to talk to max, okay? wait here." 

eiji just nodded and shunichi gave a last smile and nod to the band and left. 

"i didn't have the chance to say but, shorter, alex, you guys were amazing out there!" eiji said with a grin. 

alex smiled. "thank you eiji! ash here talks a lot about _ y-AUCH!" _ash hit him in the neck. "fucking hell, ash." 

eiji just giggled. "i'm glad we got to meet! ash told me he was happy about you joining your band." 

alex smirked at ash. "is that so?" 

shorter looked at ash, expecting him to say something but was so entranced in his phone. shorter snapped his fingers in front of his face. 

scared jade eyes looked at him. the sight made shorter nervous so he waited for him to say something. 

"we're going for yut lung! alex stay here with eiji, okay?" 

alex and eiji seemed a little confused but the older saw the look on both guys and nodded. "so, eiji…do you want to know the story of when we went to see a horror movie?" 

shorter bite back a laugh. the story was pretty funny because ash cried and threw the popcorns at every scream scene. 

but it wasn't the moment so ash and shorter left the living room. thankfully akira wasn't there, yut lung standing there with the same look the blond had. 

"what happened? does eiji already know?" shorter asked. 

ash looked at yut lung. "tell him." 

yut lung just sighed. "i lost my phone." 

_ "WHAT?" _ shorter screamed in pure confusion. 

"during the mosh pit, i lost my phone. the rest of the show i was freaking out and when you guys left the stage i told eiji that i lost it. we tried to search for it but then ibe-san came for eiji to make the interview, akira tagging along. then they told me to wait here while the three entered."

"i didn't saw you when i came." shorter said remembering. 

yut lung rolled his eyes. "no you didn't. you were making fucking heart eyes to your drummer, it was so disgusting you looked like ash when he's with eiji." 

"i-" 

"you like a-" shorter put his hand on ash's mouth before he could dare to finish that sentence. 

he breathed softly. "this is not the time or place. what happened next?" 

yut lung smiled, taking out his phone from his pocket. "guess who found it?" 

shorter sighed. _ please let me be wrong on this one, _he begged. 

the young one didn't let them answer. "akira left the living room, gave it to me, told me _ 'try to save it better the next time' _ and left." 

_ what the fuck. what the actual fuck. _

"i saw my gallery, the picture isn't there. she deleted it." 

the silence after that sentence was the worse. shorter wanted to punch something and ash's face looked like he wanted to cry. 

yut lung just seemed tired. "i'm gonna tell him." 

"with no proof?" ash asked, shorter could sense him getting angry. "what the fuck yut lung." 

"it wasn't my fucking fault!" 

"shorter told you! we should have had another copy!" 

"okay but why they fuck would i have known arthur would grab my phone during the mosh pit! i didn't _ fucking _ know!" 

"stop!" shorter yelled. "both of you shut the fuck up we cannot panic right now." 

"what the fuck should we do then, shorter?" ash laughed sarcastic. "because i'm losing my _ fucking _ mind right now." 

shorter sighted patting on ash's shoulders and gave a look to yut lung who also seemed on the break of falling apart. "tell eiji." 

"but-" ash tried to stop but shorter shushed him. 

"picturecor not. he needs to know." shorter tried to sound soft and understanding but he was also losing his mind. 

"he's going to hate us." ash whispered holding himself. shorter rushed to hug tight his best friend. 

yut lung looked at both with tired eyes. "if that's the price of him ending akira's game, then let him hate us. i cannot stand seeing her play with eiji's heart, i just can't." 

shorter nodded even if ash wasn't looking at them, just the floor. "it's for the best." 

ash sighed shaking. "g-go." 

yut lung gave shorter a nod and he returned it. he saw the young one sigh deep and enter the living room, alex leaving seconds later confused. 

"who was that? what's happening?" he asked sitting on the floor next to shorter that was holding ash knowing he was probably crying. 

he really wanted to say something to make him feel better but knew it wouldn't help his best friend. he just needed to be held now. 

alex was still waiting for an answer and shorter may really like alex but right now he also wanted to just cry and be held. 

so he put his head on alex's lap, the latter holding him instantly with a worried look. "what's happening?" 

shorter hoped yut lung would also hold eiji right now. god knows he's the one who needs it more. 

"just, wait. we'll tell you, but now just…don't say anything." shorter pleaded. 

alex started brushing his purple hair with those hands shorter adored. "okay." 

so the three of them waited outside. for a _ long _ time. not even wanting to think what was happening inside. 

shorter's eyes opened abruptly the moment the living room's door closed hard and eiji left running not giving a chance to anyone talk to him. 

ash stand up fast and went inside, shorter and alex trailing behind worried. 

"what happened?!" ash asked with wide eyes. 

yut lung was sitting on one of the couches, his face staring at the picture of shorter, nadia and his parents in china, the four of them holding each other, so loving, so tight, so oh not caring what would happen a year later. 

shorter's heart shattered, not only from remembering that day but from seeing a tear fall from yut lung's eye. 

he thought it was impossible, but it shattered a lot more listening to the answer. 

"he…he didn't believe me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter singing karaoke knowing he sings very bad is me.
> 
> than you so much for reading!!!


	8. stay with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ash and eiji meet up.

"do you have everything you need?" ash asked. 

griffin stopped from tapping on his computer and with a nod he smiled. "yes. just have to send this to jessica and i'll go." 

ash nodded, still a bit nervous about his brother going back to cape cod and also feeling like shit after yesterday's events. 

"are you okay, ash?" 

he stopped remembering the look on yut lung's face after telling them how eiji reacted and stared at his brother who seemed worried. 

"fine." 

griffin sighed. "did something happened? after the interview?" 

_ of course something  happened _ _,_ he wanted to snap but didn't want his brother to go after a fight. 

"i don't want to talk about it." ash replied. "it's a lot and…you're leaving." 

he heard griffin stand up from the table and go to the kitchen where he was. 

"i'll be back tomorrow morning. even if we both hate dad, i need to talk to him." he said with a gentle tone. 

ash just sighed. "what am i going to do?" 

griffin smiled. "you can invite a friend! or go to max's house, i'm sure michael misses you." 

that didn't seem like a bad idea. "i will ask them later." 

"alright. i'm going now, okay? i left fifty dollars but if you need anything, call max." griffin said grabbing his suitcase and coat. 

"be careful." the thought of something happening to griffin would tear him apart. 

ash wasn't used to griffin leaving him after what happened in cape cod. they both knew that and still had to deal with it. he had grew stronger but the scar was there, and was most likely not going to leave. 

"talk to eiji, okay?" 

ash looked surprised at griffin. "w-why?" 

"max, shunichi and i were talking when he came and told ibe he was going by himself and left chang dai." 

ash's heart thumped hard. yut lung demanded that they should leave eiji alone and that they will talk when he calms down. 

he didn't knew if yut lung was talking about him or eiji, but honestly everyone was just tired. ash felt embarrassed when he woke up in his bed and griffin said that he carried him there because he fell asleep on chang dai. 

still, ash wondered if eiji was okay, he would talk to him if he wasn't  _ so goddamn _ scared. 

"i'll try." was all ash could promise. 

griffin smiled and hugged him tight. "take care, alright? i'll see you tomorrow." 

ash hugged him tighter. why did they have to go get all their old stuff? he really didn't understand but knew griffin really wanted them. 

"see you tomorrow." ash said with a small smile. 

griffin smiled back and left their house. leaving ash all alone with his loud thoughts. 

ash really was dramatic because only minutes after he received a message. with a gasp and losing air he read who it was. 

  
  


** _eiji darling: hi aslan, hope im not a bother rn but can we talk? _ **

fuck his nervousness, ash replied instantly. 

** _aslan: Yeah. Is everything okay? _ **

** _aslan: Do you want to meet somewhere? _ **

ash could really use company now. he knew max and jessica always welcomed him with open arms to their home yet he wanted to be with eiji right now. he sent a message to ash, that must meant he wasn't mad at him,  _ right?  _

eiji didn't took long to reply. 

** _eiji darling: i can't leave my house, im taking care of my sister_ **

** _eiji darling: would you mind coming to my house? _ **

** _eiji darling: you totally don't have to if you don't want to _ **

  
  


ash tried not to hyperventilate now. eiji invited him to his house.  _ his house.  _ and of course he wanted to go for fuck sakes. he wanted to send a voice note just screaming  _ 'yes' _ but he didn't want to scare eiji. 

** _aslan: It's fine. I can go. _ **

** _aslan: Do you want me to bring something?_ **

  
  


** _eiji darling: uh if you want i guess?? _ **

** _aslan: Ok. I'll be there in 30 minutes. _ **

** _eiji darling: ty_ **

  
  
  


he didn't waste time. ash took the shortest shower he could ever have, grabbed his phone, bag, keys and money and left the house and started  _ running _ towards the bus stop and then go to eiji's house. 

sitting on the bus, while waiting to arrive to the latter's house, ash sent a message to the group chat he had with yut lung and shorter. 

  
  


** _ash NOT romeo: Hey. _ **

** _ash NOT romeo: I'm going to Eiji's house. _ **

** _yeet lung: what why _ **

** _yeet lung: he hasn't talked to me what the fuck _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: oof just finished cleaning imma take a nap_ **

** _shorter dirty whore: why is my name here dirty whore _ **

** _ash NOT romeo: Because everywhere you go… YOU ARE a dirty whore. _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: imean, u r not wrong,,,,, _ **

** _yeet lung: what are you doing in eiji's house _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: STRAIGHT TO THE POINT _ **

** _ash NOT romeo: He wanted to talk. So I suggested we could meet somewhere and he said his house so… _ **

** _ash NOT romeo: I'm totally not freaking out in the bus right now. _ **

** _yeet lung: i would also freak out fuck _ **

** _yeet lung: ash you have to talking to him about akira_ **

** _ash NOT romeo: Fuck no. _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: dude you have to _ **

** _ash NOT romeo: I can't. If he didn't believe Yut-Lung, he will never believe me. _ **

** _yeet lung: oh my god you're so fucking stupid_ **

** _yeet lung: do whatever you want then fucking coward _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: … _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: just try _ **

  
  


and the conversation ended there. ash wanted to scream of frustration but time went fast and he was already in front of eiji's door house. 

he tried to brush and make his hair look nicer but the fucker had life on its own and moved wherever it wanted not letting ash change  _ anything _ . 

_ fucking fine.  _ he thought and knocked. 

it took a good three minutes ash counted waiting for eiji to open the door. but it wasn't eiji. 

standing with a scared look and as tall as ash's legs, was a little girl. with pigtails and a blue dress, staring at him like if he wasn't human. 

"eh, hello?" ash said trying to sound nice. 

the little girl seemed surprised ash could talk and yelled looking inside the house. "eiji! there's someone at the door!" 

rapid steps sounded and in all his glory, eiji was there. looking at ash with what seemed _relief?_ _calmness?_ he didn't knew but felt glad his darling asked him to come. 

"aslan! hey, come in." eiji said with that cute smile of his, grabbing the little girl's hand. 

ash was pretty stupid just now realizing that she was his sister. 

_ "hiromi! _ i've told you thousands of times you don't open the doors without me or mom, understood?" eiji's eyes were directed at his little sister who was now making puppy eyes. 

ash tried not to grin like a madman because the okumura siblings are so fucking cute. 

"i thought it was dad…" hiromi said with a sad voice. 

eiji looked at ash for a second and then hugged hiromi and took her in his arms, his little sister giggling adorably. 

"i will tell you when dad is at the door, yes? and you can be the one who opens it." 

hiromi's eyes  _ shined _ at that. "really?! oniisan will you do that?" 

eiji chuckled and made small turns making hiromi erupt in more giggles. "i promise." he said touching with two fingers hiromi's forehead. "now go play, okay? aslan and i will be on my room if you need something." 

hiromi nodded and looked at ash's eyes making him feel nervous for a second. 

"h-hi, hiromi." he said softly. 

hiromi smiled. "are you oniisan's new boyfriend?" 

_ now what the f- _

"no! hiromi! don't say that." eiji reprimanded her with a blush. 

"so he's not or-"  _ i fucking wish.  _ ash thought. 

"no! go play with your plushies." 

hiromi gave a last small smirk, winked at the blond and went upstairs probably to her room. 

ash looked at eiji who was still having a blush and a small smile. 

"she's adorable." ash couldn't help but say. 

eiji groaned. "she's ten and a troublemaker." 

he laughed at that. "her english is very good." 

"what are you trying to say?" eiji said suspicious.

ash just looked at his house nowadays realizing it was the first time he has been here. "nothing, nothing. it's 'cause, you just moved this summer right?" 

eiji nodded and started walking upstairs, ash following behind. "my mom was the one who made us learn it since we were in, kindergarten? hiromi is very smart so she enjoyed learning it." 

"and you?" ash smirked. 

eiji gasped.  _ "the disrespect!  _ my english is fine thank you." 

he opened the door to his room and ash took a step back to digest this. 

he tried not to panic, is stupid nowadays but  _ he! couldn't! help! it!  _

eiji's room is bigger than his. the walls were a pastel pink and his room was kind of disorganized. scratch that, it was a  _ mess _ . 

a voice in ash's head was screaming  _ clean! clean all! _ but eiji just threw himself to his bed and stared at ash. 

"so, what do you think? originally, this room was hiromi's but she hated the pink and loved the green of my room so we changed." 

ash imagined the whole situation. small hiromi probably making a tantrum about having the green room and eiji just so done with everything and saying she could have his room. 

"what a good brother you are." 

eiji smiled proudly. "everyone would do the same." 

ash laughed at that. "no, they wouldn't. i wouldn't." 

"aslan!" eiji gasped with a smile. "of course you wouldn't, you're the baby brother, poor griffin dealing with a brat like you…"

ash threw a plushie of what looked like a weird-ass bird to eiji. "fuck off!" 

eiji laughed and put the plushie in his arms. ash wanted to exchange places with the bird. 

"i'm sorry." eiji said and stopped smiling. 

ash sat down on the bed, worried. "why?" 

"yesterday. i left without an explanation." 

the blonde's heart sank a bit. "you shouldn't be sorry. everyone would've done that." 

eiji smiled sadly. "no, they wouldn't." 

ash didn't know what to say so taking a leap of faith, he took eiji's hand. 

the japanese didn't seem to mind, he sighed and looked at ash's eyes. "did you know? that yut lung was going to tell me that." 

ash's voices shook a little, he knew he had to say the truth, it was all he could do. "yes. he told me on thursday." 

eiji's just nodded. "aslan?" 

"yeah?" 

his darling's voice broke. "i don't want to believe it.  _ i-i can't _ …i can't believe it." 

ash didn't hesitate, in a fast act he took eiji in his arms, feeling the tears fall from the angel's face. 

"s-she,  _ why would she do that? _ i tried…i tried to talk to her but she denied it. she told me i shouldn't believe what yue says. yue is my best friend but akira has never lied to me, not once, i-i…i don't know what to do, aslan." 

ash just held him tight. wanting to take away all of eiji's pain. he felt so useless right now. seeing the boy he liked crying and holding to the idea that his girlfriend was truthful. 

"you're the only one who can decide what to do, eiji. i know that sounds dumb but…i will…we will always be by your side okay? whatever decision you choose." 

"you think…you think it's true?" 

"eiji…"

"please tell me." 

ash sighed, putting his chin on eiji's head, still holding him. trying to find a way to say what he  _ wanted _ but also  _ had _ to say. 

"on thursday. yut lung showed me the picture. it's true eiji, what he said, it is true." 

"it's not. i don't want to believe it, i'm sorry aslan, i can't believe it." 

ash tried not to sound as desperate as he felt. "why?" 

eiji just stared at the wall, ash looked and making him sank, was a picture of eiji and akira, smiling in japan. "i was always with her. i always supported her, i always listened to her, i held her when she needed it, i helped her when she asked for help. why…why would she cheat on me? did i do something wrong? she…she never showed signs of being bored with me. she would've told me because she is so honest, she's so honest, aslan, why? i don't know why. " he said rapid but softly. 

ash honestly didn't know how to help right now. 

"i'm sorry, eiji. i don't know why she would do that. i'm sorry i can't help you to feel better." 

the tears on eiji's eyes didn't seem to stop but now, ash could also see a small,  _ genuine _ , smile. 

"just _ …just stay with me."  _

and he did. not even a second, ash never left eiji's side. 

  
  
  
  


______

  
  
  


"do you think mom will let us go?" 

ash looked at eiji who was helping akira put on her shoes.

"yeah. it's fine, hiromi." eiji said, all his attention to his little sister and finally tying her shoe laces. "there you go!" 

hiromi jumped off of the kitchen aisle and looked at both ash and eiji with a toothy grin. 

"we're going shopping! we're going shopping! we're-" 

"we are not going shopping, hiromi." 

hiromi looked at eiji as if he just slapped her. something that would never ever happened but ash chuckled at the horrified look on the small okumura. 

"b-but why?" 

eiji smiled at ash for a second and returned his gaze to the pouty hiromi. "ash will be shopping, not us. we're just tagging along." 

ash nodded. "you wanted to buy something?" he asked to hiromi. 

hiromi took her time to respond with a smile. "yes!" 

"what?" eiji asked unimpressed. 

"i want a new coloring book!" she stated firmly. 

eiji rolled his eyes and took her hand, giving ash a look of  _ 'you see what i'm dealing with here?'  _ it was so cute, ash was glad eiji felt better after spending all morning crying in ash's arms. 

ash loved holding him but didn't like seeing him cry and not be able to stop the tears. he remembered when eiji held his hand on thursday and stayed by his side the whole time. 

now he could do the same to eiji, even if ash still felt a little useless but minutes after eiji thanked him for staying with him. 

_ of course i will stay with you _ , ash thought while the three of them walled to the bus stop. smiling when he saw how hiromi tried to poke on eiji's belly.  _ anytime i will.  _

"hey! that's not how you do it!" ash said very happy and poked fastly at eiji's belly. 

eiji didn't stop laughing and begging for mercy, making both ash and hiromi poke more. 

hiromi blew a raspberry to eiji. "for not wanting to buy me my coloring book!" 

eiji gasped, finally both hiromi and ash stopped tickle him. "the audacity! i bought you one three weeks ago. what happened?" 

the bus finally arrived and the three went to sit, ash next to the window and eiji by his side while hiromi was on his lap.

"i didn't like it! i told you i wanted a tiger coloring book not the dinosaur one!" 

eiji pouted. "i thought you loved dinosaurs." 

hiromi groaned cutely. "yeah, when i was five." 

"wait…_you aren't_ _five?"_ eiji said with a surprised tone and wide eyes. 

ash couldn't help it. he started laughing at the shock on eiji's sister face. 

"aslan! tell something to eiji! he's been mean." 

"you can call me ash, hiromi." ash said with a smile looking at eiji. 

"ash, say something to eiji!" 

oh, fuck, true. he wasn't alone right now. they were in a bus going to the mall and hiromi was scolding eiji. 

eiji was so unfazed, ash knew this must happen everyday. 

"hi eiji." ash joked and eiji actually giggled. the his sister completely done with both of them just closed her eyes and didn't talk for the rest of the bus ride. 

neither did eiji or ash, who were listening to death cab for cutie with ash's earbuds. 

"how do you feel?" ash asked gently. 

eiji's eyes looked tired from tearing up but he actually smiled just the same way he did while he was on ash's arms. 

the blond felt so warm and joyful seeing that damn smile, he even blushed a little when eiji face fell on his shoulder and decide to stay there. 

"i'm alright." 

ash nodded, carefully putting his head over eiji's. "you know i'm here, okay?" 

eiji's cheeks also tinted a bit. "i know." 

and they stayed silent, ash looked at both okumuras who were probably not sleeping because of bump roads but with eyes closed.

ash wanted to scream to the driver to be more careful because two angels were trying to sleep now. 

but his scream wouldn't help the situation so he just stayed in awe and quiet. feeling like a creep, spending all ride until they arrived looking at the boy beside him. 

_ please, don't let this end.  _ ash begged to whoever could read his mind. 

he knew eiji was still not full believing that his girlfriend cheated on him. eiji himself told him he wanted to know it by akira herself, he wanted her to confess it if it was true. 

ash felted so bad but just nodded and kept hugging him. 

he didn't want to give up now, eiji did know now that akira cheated on him. now all it takes is to wait, wait for him to end it or wait for him to continue it. 

the blond didn't exactly knew. he was still learning so much about eiji it would take a long long time to understand what was going on inside his head. the only thing he could promise is to stay. no matter what choice eiji decides at the end. 

being able to be called his friend, hanging out with eiji and receiving those smiles that made ash go to paradise was enough. 

after ten minutes of silence the bus stopped and they arrived to the mall. 

ash told eiji when he asked what they should do that they have to go to the record's store. 

"are you really buying a death cab vinyl?" eiji asked while he had rose puffy eyes. 

ash nodded nervously with a smile. "i just really liked them." 

eiji smiled and passed the wet towel on his face so he could clean his face. "let's go then." 

it took a call to eiji's mother and interrupting the tea hiromi had with a same weird ass bird plushie eiji owned so that they could go. 

thankfully, eiji's mom is also an angel so it was fine for her but that they should arrive for dinner. 

ash felt so surprised when eiji said that he was invited.

snapping from his thoughts, he realized they were already in front of the record's store. 

_ time really flew when he was thinking of eiji huh. _

"what are we doing here?" hiromi asked ash with big and curious eyes. 

ash got close to her ear while he looked at eiji who was on another place in the store seeing the CDs. 

"i have a surprise for eiji." 

hiromi nodded with a grin, ash grinned back. "what kind of surprise?" 

"you'll see, distract your brother and i will tell you when i'm done." ash whispered. 

"you're not oniisan's boyfriend? i promise i won't tell." hiromi asked with hopeful eyes it broke ash but also made him blush. 

"i'm not, just a friend." ash replied making those hopes go down.

not only hiromi's but also his. 

hiromi, surprisingly, smiled. "i may be ten but i'm no dummy. i would love that my oniisan could have someone that truly loves him, you can be that someone. so if one day he breaks up with akira, go with him please." 

hiromi's words hit harder than expected. for being so small she really had big words. words ash felt grateful to hear. 

with his heart beating fast he asked. "you don't like akira?" 

"i used to. i knew she didn't get too comfortable with people so i was always happy when she wanted to play with me. it was when she and oniisan went back to school that she started being mean." 

ash nodded thoughtfully. he really wondered what happened through akira's mind. how did she get to this point? why? 

"so will you give oniisan a surprise?" hiromi asked leaving behind what they were talking. 

"yeah! can you help me?" 

hiromi jumped and nodded excitedly. "promise me you will do something if the opportunity comes." 

ash smiled, crossing his heart. "i promise." 

hiromi grinned and with a last nod like if she was a soldier going to war, ran to eiji and started babbling nonsense in japanese. 

eiji, the sweetheart, listened to hiromi attentively.

ash wanted to keep looking at him but he had a surprise to make, sending a message to  _ 'gonna get you out of there, eiji.'  _

  
  


** _aslan NOT romeo: Even if Hiromi is with us, does Eiji and I going out to the mall count as a date? _ **

** _yeet lung: _ ** ** _WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK_ **

** _shorter dirty whore: GO GET HIM TIGER _ **

** _yeet lung: DON'T LOSE SIGHT OF HIROMI YOU IDIOT _ **

** _yeet lung: and no!!!! you!!!! have!!!! to!!!! ask!!!! for!!!! a!!!! date!!!! _ **

** _aslan NOT romeo: I was the one with the idea of going out. _ **

** _yeet lung: did you said it was a date? _ **

** _aslan NOT romeo: Uh, no?_ **

** _yeet lung: then no! it's not a date_ **

** _shorter dirty whore: F for ash_ **

** _shorter dirty whore: F_ **

** _aslan NOT romeo: F_ **

** _shorter dirty whore: so,,,, who's hiromi_ **

** _aslan NOT romeo: Eiji's little sis. _ **

** _aslan NOT romeo: Yut-Lung, besides Transatlanticism, what's Eiji's favorite album?_ **

** _yeet lung: of death cab? _ **

** _aslan NOT romeo: Yes. _ **

** _yeet lung: plans, why _ **

** _aslan NOT romeo: I'll tell you later. _ **

** _Thank you. _ **

** _yeet lung: WAIT_ **

** _yeet lung: have you talked about yesterday??? _ **

** _aslan NOT romeo: Talk is a very small word to express today's events. _ **

** _aslan NOT romeo: But yes. We 'talked' all morning, he didn't want to talk after _ **

** _ so I said we should go out. _ **

  
  


** _yeet lung: that's fine_ **

** _yeet lung: lucky asshole enjoy today _ **

** _shorter dirty whore: GIVE DETAILS LATER! 1!1!1!_ **

** _aslan NOT romeo: Ok. Talk to you guys later._ **

** _yeet lung: why do you write like that oh my god_ **

** _shorter dirty whore: he's very sensitive with that topic next question_ **

  
  


thank the whole universe. ash found both transatlanticism and plans in the vinyl section. he looked back and hiromi and eiji were still talking not caring about anything else. 

it was quite a sight. eiji calm, smiling and giggling about whatever his little sister was saying. his cheeks even became roses once or twice, ash was not sure why. he was completely enamored with the boy he loved seeing pink on eiji. 

ash wanted to pray for hiromi's words to be true. it was going to be horrible for eiji if he gets to break up with akira. the tears falling from his eyes like shooting stars and his trembling hands hurted ash so much, he didn't want his darling to go pass through it again for _that_ _girl. _

it was a promise. he was going to confess the moment he felt ready, both him and eiji. ash smiled softly, just imagining it hurted his cheeks from smiling so much. 

_ stop, stop, i'm not alone. _ ash realized looking around and seeing a mother and his child staring at him. was it because he was smiling to some vinyls? 

feeling completely embarrassed he went in big steps to pay the vinyls and got it wrapped like if it was a gift. 

he winced a little at how much everything costed but brushed it off quickly and payed for it. 

it was worth it. this was going to be worth it. 

besides he was going to get his tips from friday so it wasn't that bad. he just wasn't used to buy things just for the sake of it. 

but they were talking about eiji right here. and anything he could buy to the angel it was worth it. 

with that mindset ash went back to the CDs section where eiji and hiromi were still talking. 

"o-hi, aslan! what did you buy?" eiji asked looking at him with those big bambi eyes. 

ash cooed in his mind and smiled gently. "it's a surprise." he answered giving a wink to hiromi who was looking at them in awe. 

"oh, okay! what do you want to do now?" 

ash looked around, an idea popping in his head. "i know the best place." 

without thinking too much about it he grabbed eiji's hand and started walking to the exit. 

"hiromi, come! don't walk behind me!" eiji said firm but not angry. 

hiromi was smiling and did as told. the little girl now walking in front of them looking at the stores. 

"where do you want to go?" eiji asked curiously. 

he looked so cute, ash gave a small 'boop' to eiji's nose. the boy blushed slightly. 

"the terrace." 

  
  
  
  


______

  
  
  


the mall's terrace was actually not a place allowed to go and hang out. ash felt a little bad for taking eiji and hiromi there, thankfully he had someone there. 

"you owe me." alex said tired and opening the door to the terrace. 

"thank you, alex!" eiji said with a smile and him and hiromi ran to the terrace happily. 

alex smiled back and turned to ash with a growl. "don't do anything improper. the kid has to stay back from the railing. it's only there for decoration so please be careful, i'll send you a text when you have to leave." 

ash nodded and bumped his fist. "i won't, don't worry." 

"do you want bones and kong to get the kid? so you can be with eiji just the two?" 

he considerate it for a second. "it's fine. hiromi's rooting for me, she thought i was his boyfriend." 

alex chuckled. "i would too, seeing how both of you look at each other. yesterday before the whole…caos, his eyes were glowing when i told him the story of when you almost pee in the movies." 

ash rolled his eyes, pushing alex and his ugly smirk away. "fuck off, go kiss shorter's ass or something." 

now ash smirked seeing alex's faint blush. "w-what? the hell you talk about!" he laughed nervously. 

he felt like an idiot. how didn't he notice the way alex and shorter acted a round each other. 

ash would blame it on eiji. 

"nothing, nothing. i'll see you later." 

alex nodded quietly and left the terrace, ash's gaze was now on the water fountain where hiromi and eiji were sitting looking at the blueish ghibli sky. 

"hiromi do you want to paint something in your new coloring book?" 

oh yeah. eiji lied. the moment he saw a tiger coloring book he bought it for hiromi. who was now and cheering, she took the book and colors and ran to the other side of the terrace where a hammock was. 

"don't go to the railing!" ash yelled, hiromi just raised her thumbs up. 

eiji chuckled. "don't worry, she's smart." 

the blond nodded, sitting beside eiji looking at the whole city. 

"it's so beautiful here." 

"very." ash agreed, thinking about the boys next to him. 

"why did you choose here?" eiji asked curiously looking at the ash. 

ash sighed, a little nervous. "during the summer, alex showed shorter and i this place. since then i come here when everything gets…too much, the skyline makes me feel safe, better." he whispered. "it's probably dumb but-" 

"it's not. it's not dumb at all." eiji sounded understanding, warming ash's soul. "i…i get it. the most unreachable things are the ones who helps us better, its crazy." 

"it is. i…you know i'm not from new york?" eiji denied surprised. ash chuckled. "i'm not, i'm from cape cod, a small town in massachusetts. griffin and i moved here when i was ten, during those days, everything was so…dark. i used to look at the sky and try to calm myself or when griffin wasn't studying or looking for a job he would spend time with me, looking at the sky, reading some poems… it was hard, those times, were so hard but griffin was there, he has been most of my life and, i don't know where i would be now without him. this place…reminds me of the safe days i had with him during cape cod. "

ash felted like he ranted but eiji held his hand and pressed it lightly. "i'm so glad you have him. it should be lovely to have someone like that." 

_ fuck. _

"i'm sorry! i didn't…i didn't think i said it to make you feel bad, i'm so-"

eiji giggled. "you don't have to apologize. i know you didn't said it to brag or something and its cute when you talk so… _ vividly _ , about anything." 

ash nodded with a fast heartbeat. eiji didn't even have to try to make him feel so many things in one second. he waited for eiji to say something else. it took a little time, he saw hiromi was now laying it the hammock with closed eyes. probably asleep. 

"i love hiromi, you know? and because of that i have always tried my best to be stronger for her." eiji breathed, now ash was the one who pressed softly eiji's hand with his. assuring him with his touch that he was not alone. 

"it was a year ago when my dad got diagnosed with liver cancer." eiji said looking anywhere that wasn't ash's shocked eyes. "the hospital bill was getting high and my mom spent most days working day and night. i had to take care of hiromi, she didn't understood just asked every chance she had  _ 'where is otousan?'  _ i told her what was happening and she cried all day, begging for our dad to come home."

ash hugged eiji. he wasn't crying just whispering with a sad sound. "i'm so sorry, eiji. i didn't knew that." 

eiji just denied. "on april my mom got the news that she had a job opportunity here in new york. she didn't hesitate and said yes. thankfully my dad got a better treatment and we get to visit him more often." 

"he's getting better, he really is. it's just so hard for all of us." 

ash smiled genuine at eiji. "you're so brave, eiji. all of you really are." 

eiji nodded. "they really are." he sighed looking at the pink sky. "thank you, aslan. for not leaving." 

"i will never leave." ash promised. 

eiji stared at him for a moment, trying to notice something on ash's tone, he smiled seconds later and put his head on the other's shoulder. 

"we should stay like this, like…forever." 

ash laughed a little. "you mean in the terrace? hiromi sleeping twenty feet away from us?" 

"yeah! why the hell not? unless you don't want to." 

"i do want to, darling." ash pressed eiji closer to him. "i will stay with you, forever." 

it was like a confession. ash felt proud more when he saw eiji's cheeks turn pinker, it was like an angelic painting. 

and when the japanese profound and starlight eyes looked at him, ash couldn't help but blush too. eiji giggled and he felt as if he was listening to the best song ever sang. 

"forever it is, aslan dear."

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!!!!


	9. honey and milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eiji thinks, akira acts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was so hard to write oh my god im so sorry i took a long time but thank you so much reading!!!

eiji doesn't remember having such an emotional week like the one he just had to pass. 

it's also probable he cried as much this past few days as when his mother told him his dad had liver cancer and that's, _ depressing. _

because if there was one thing eiji hated is being vulnerable and a sentimental mess. the face that little hiromi does every time she sees him cry breaks eiji's heart. he tried to promise himself to not cry. at least not in front of her. 

but that's complicated when your best friend told you that your girlfriend is cheating on you and you have confused feelings with your new friend. 

he tried to suck it up. eiji didn't have time for this kind of stuff. he needed to help ibe-san to edit the pictures they took on friday, take care of hiromi, make dinner for his mom and not slack off pole vaulting practice. 

and that was what he was trying to do right now. 

trying because aslan bought him not only one but _two!_ death cab for cutie vinyls and he was slow dancing to _ marching bands of manhattan _imagining himself dancing with his new blonde friend just like they did on his house while simultaneously trying to cook breakfast and trying to tie hiromi hair in a braid. 

"i can ask skipper to do it." hiromi said noticing his brother struggle doing the last loop. 

eiji shook his head. "it's fine. let me just…done! go change and brush your teeth." 

"you…haven't given me breakfast." 

eiji cursed in his mind. lord knows his mother can hear everything in this house, even if she was sleeping right now because she just got back from the graveyard shift. 

so he giggled. "silly me, here you go!" 

hiromi stared in confusion at the burnt egg and apple cut but decided to say nothing. eiji was glad, he wasn't going to make another one and they were late. 

which was so bad because both okumuras were _ never late. ever. _

if he could, eiji would blame it on aslan. they hang out all saturday until his mother called saying they had to be on the hospital because his dad wanted to see them. eiji felt bad leaving early and tried to make aslan go with them but he said he had to go with his uncles so with a last hug to both siblings they went separate ways. 

eiji thought he was clingy, hanging out with aslan on saturday and face-timing with him while listening to music and watching a serie on sunday until very late at night. 

aslan assured him a thousand times it was alright and that he really wanted to speak with him. eiji wouldn't lie he blushed like an idiot when the other one would say that kind of things. 

things his girlfriend has never said to him which at the thought it gave a bad pulse at his heart.

_ snap out of it._eiji thought while preparing hiromi lunch and mother's breakfast. _ aslan is just a good friend and akira even said with her own words she didn't like that sappy crap. _

but eiji craved and loved it so he didn't say anything and just nodded. besides, akira has never been one to say romantic things and still managed to make eiji feel the luckiest guy ever when she admitted she liked him.

which in parts break eiji apart constantly because apparently she's cheating on him. 

akira would never. he couldn't believe it. what if yue saw wrong? what if it was all a prank? what if it was all a misunderstanding. yes! it's that, a misunderstanding. 

today he would go to school fine and dandy, akira would come up to him and give him an usual peck, yue would say gross or something and then with akira agree it was all a joke. 

but still, yue was also a pretty honest person…_ agh! _it hurted eiji's head like hell. he needed to talk to both because at this point eiji would fall on practice for having his head somewhere else. 

"do you want me to take both of you to school?" 

eiji turned around and in the top of the stairs was his mother with a soft but tired smile. 

"it's fine. we're gonna walk." 

"yut-lung isn't coming for you?" she asked walking towards the table where the breakfast eiji did for her was done. 

he winced a little at that. after storming out like a crybaby from chang dai he hasn't talked to yue. his best friend sent him constant texts asking if they could talk or if eiji was mad at him. 

eiji felt a little bad about the last message, of course eiji wasn't mad at him. he just needed to think and distract himself. 

something he was so grateful aslan helped him with. he smiled a little remembering all the time he spend with him during the weekend. 

"uh, no." eiji responded shortly, his mother nodded. 

"how's akira?" 

eiji felt his palms start to sweat and breath getting hard to take. he smiled. 

"she's alright." 

he felt his mother's warm but pierce eyes on him, trying to decipher what was happening with his son. eiji would tell her everything, he knew his mother was the most understanding and loving woman ever but she was tired and has been working constantly since she was the only one who paid for everything. 

eiji tried to pay for the food he cook or things they needed to clean the houses or when hiromi wanted something. but most times his mother denied mostly always, she wanted him to save it for when he leaves high school and goes to college. 

right now he wasn't so sure he was going to college, at least not next year. he had to take care of hiromi. his mother tried to reassure him that by that time his father would already be home but eiji was a constant _ what if. _

he was so scared but he didn't admit it, at all. he just smiled. 

"okay." was all his mother answered, eiji felt a weight leave his shoulders. 

hiromi finally arrived ready and with the determinate look she always had before going to school. 

"hi, mama!" the little okumura said with her usual glow and happy smile. 

their mother kissed her cheek endearing. "hello, sunshine. are you ready?" 

"yes, yes, yes! oniisan let's go, it's so late!" hiromi whined, eiji rolled his eyes but nodded while grabbing his school and practice bags.

"are we visiting otousan today?" he asked. 

"yes, so don't be late alright?" 

eiji simply nodded and grabbed hiromi's hand by the door. "bye." 

"byee!" hiromi said with a toothy grin. 

their mother for being working all day and night smiled with the same happiness and blew them a kiss. "i love you! do great okay?" 

both eiji and hiromi gave a last nod and left the house. 

they first went to hiromi's elementary school and then eiji would walk by himself to his high school. which he hated like crazy but his only ride was yue, who he didn't want their first conversation after friday's events to be him asking for the younger to come for him. 

he could ask akira but he didn't feel strong enough to deal with it now. 

aslan could be another option but he told eiji that this week griffin wanted to take him to school and eiji didn't want to be a bother or interrupt what could be precious moments for the brothers so he didn't message him either. 

besides the pole vaulting team, yue, aslan, sing and even shorter, eiji didn't have more friends. it was sad, the first weeks everyone wanted to talk to the new japanese senior who was an exceptional pole vaulter but now everyone treated himself normally. which eiji was honestly grateful because he hated the attention. 

so he sighed. guess he had to walk alone today. 

"are you okay, oniisan?" hiromi asked with furrowed brows. 

"i'm alright. what's up?" 

"nothing. you just seem to be thinking, hard." 

eiji tried to bite a laugh. he forgot his little sister was a very clever girl. 

"it's nothing you have to worry about." 

"is it about ash?" 

eiji snapped and looked at her, surprised. "w-why…why would it be about aslan?" 

she just smiled looking at anything that wasn't eiji's face, when she seemed ready to ask she stared at him. 

"do you like him?" 

now eiji choked with his spit. 

_ "what the f-" _

"it is true! you like ash!" 

eiji was now blushing. hard. 

"i do not like aslan, you little punk! he and i are just friends, that's it." 

"why can't you be something else?" 

eiji snorted. "did you forget about akira?" 

hiromi snarled. "she's a bitch." 

_ "hiromi! _don't ever say that again!" 

he wanted to laugh at the look on hiromi's face because where the hell did she hear that word. 

"yut lung told me that mean people are a bitch. akira is mean. she is a bitch." 

eiji sighed. looks like he had to talk to yue. 

"hiromi, akira isn't a mean person." 

_ at least that's what i want to think. _

"she's just…you know she isn't all sun and rainbows, right? it's like with yue." 

"but yue doesn't treat me or you bad. akira does!" 

_ wait. _

"what do you mean by _ 'treat me or you bad'?" _

hiromi sighed looking at her feet. 

"hiromi…"

she sighed. "she doesn't play with me anymore! she says it's stupid and she doesn't look at you like ash does!"

eiji's heart beated so mediocre at that. 

"h-how does aslan look at me?" 

"with love! he likes you, you dumb oniisan!" 

eiji stayed quiet. letting his sister's words sink in.

_ fucking fuck _. 

"we're here! mom is coming for you, okay? i love you, byeee!" eiji said rapidly pushing hiromi to the elementary doors.

hiromi rolled her eyes like the ten year old brat she is. "love you too." 

eiji saw his little sister's friend, skipper, waiting for her, instantly she smiled at him and both entered to their classroom. hopefully she would stop thinking about stupid things. 

like aslan liking eiji. _ he had to laugh! _ aslan would never date someone like eiji. 

that last thought made eiji wince a little, he tried to shake it off. why the hell did he care? he didn't. 

with a sigh and looking at his phone he started walking to his school. earphones on and _ band of horses _ playing. 

he looked at the sky. eiji was fucked. very very very fucked. 

  
  
  
  


______

  


he was at pole vaulting practice when he finally saw aslan in the whole day. 

the blond was walking towards him even though eiji was in the middle of practice and everyone was staring at the very known ash lynx, _ the school's felon, _who for some reason started talking to someone else who wasn't shorter wong. 

_ scandalous _, eiji thought and smiled at aslan who was now in from of him. 

"hey." aslan said out of breath, eiji giggled. 

"hi, what are you doing here?" he asked trying not to get nervous at having everyone's eyes looking at them. 

aslan, the dear, glanced at everyone and instantly all people there were staring at anything that wasn't the odd pair. 

"i promised myself i will try my best to come to see you practice." aslan said with a cute look. 

eiji, completely marveled at the confession, smiled gently. "thank you. you really want to stay? there's still thirty minutes to finish." 

"i don't mind. i'll go to the bleachers and write something, i just wanted to…tell you." 

eiji smirked a little by that. "you walked all court instead of going straight to the bleachers just to tell me…you're here?" 

he wanted to burst in giggles for how adorable ash looked with tinted cheeks, the blond just groaned. 

"one who just wants to stay by your side and you make me second guess my decisions! what a hypocrite! even when you're the one who wanted forever!" 

eiji was now blushing, aslan smirked at that and he wanted to make him stop but the moment he opened his mouth-

"okumura stop flirting and keep training or you'll do five more laps!" 

eiji groaned internally but also thanked god because he wasn't sure what he would respond to aslan. so he just looked at him and sticked out his tongue to the blond. 

"see you in thirty minutes?" 

aslan nodded. "i'll be over there, good luck, _ darling." _

the idiot winked at eiji and not letting him say something ran to the bleachers. 

eiji bit the inside of his mouth. _ the coward aslan was. _

the fact that eiji _ loved _ the pet name was something he was never going to say out loud. never, never, never. 

he shook his head and kept training. forgetting all the overwhelming and bad thoughts and focusing solely on his workout. 

once, twice, and lots of times he looked at aslan. sometimes he looked back with a smile and wave others he seemed focused by whatever he was writing.

the thought of it to be a song warmed eiji's heart. this weekend he had the chance to read aslan the big ass paragraph he wrote about banana fish's performance and how it was the best concert ever.

even though both knew it was eiji's first concert. 

but it was true, the look of love and passion on aslan while he sang and play his songs was something eiji would probably never forget in his life.

it was simply breathtaking and beautiful eiji teared up once or twice during the concert because the music, surroundings and people were so connected and passionate. eiji adored it and wondered how we could live seventeen years without that feeling. 

also the look on aslan's face when eiji read him the paragraph was completely priceless. he wanted to take a screenshot of the moment.

and he did! without aslan's permission and that's why he decided to keep the picture of a blushed blond his little secret. 

it surprised eiji a lot. how aslan could arrive in his life almost a week ago and only knowing each other for five days and managed to make an intense impact on eiji's life, in every way possible. 

he wondered what would've happened if he had never turned around and talked to aslan. would aslan still try to start a conversation? would they not talk at all? would they have ever become the friends they are now? 

eiji didn't know for certain how he felt with aslan. their moment at the terrace on saturday made eiji hesitate about their friendship status. was it normal for friends to promise each other they would stay together, forever? of course it was, but with aslan.

he sighed, not sad but amused and with bubbly joy. _ with aslan everything was different. _

eiji wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not. but staring at the boy with golden smile, intimidating looks and ethereal words, eiji didn't thought it was bad a thing, at all. 

  
  
  


______

  
  


sadly, eiji didn't realize then, that the happiness he had all day would go downhill, _ quick. _

practice was over and aslan was fast to go to eiji and tell him he did_ 'lovely and amazing'_ but alex called and they needed to meet so he couldn't walk eiji home. which was a little bit sad but eiji knew that their band was serious so he assured him it was fine. ash told him to call him when he was going back to his house so he wouldn't feel alone on the walk. eiji blushed a little at that but nodded and ash flashing a last gorgeous smile they went on their own ways.

it was strange knowing how aslan could be known as a punk delinquent when he acted with eiji like a sweetheart. 

so he gave a last look at aslan who was running out the school and went to the showers with a smile. it was so nice that he had aslan, if it wasn't for him, eiji would still think about everything that was going on. 

"okumura! great practice!" one of the guys from the football team said when he got out from the shower. 

eiji remembered him as one of the three who were chasing shorter and aslan the other day. 

he smiled back taking his clothes out and starting to change. "thank you! you too did amazing! cain blood, right?" 

he just chuckled. "that's me. i didn't knew you were friends with wong and lynx." 

eiji then started to brush his hair. "we just became friends last week…" he answered nervously. 

"that's alright. they're cool guys, we used to hang out a lot on freshman and sophomore." 

it was funny how cain saw the fights and pranks as _ 'hanging out' _ but eiji was no one to judge. 

"yeah, they told me what happened on junior…" 

cain nodded putting his sunglasses on even though they were on the showers. "ah, junior. arthur really fucked it up then." 

eiji nodded. he really did fuck it up. seeing cain nostalgic look made eiji think if he missed hanging out with the other two. 

but apparently it was for the best and if he would've gone to shorter's and aslan's side the football team would have kicked him out. 

and that was a no so they all had to deal with it. 

"hey, okumura. i think i saw your girl with him behind the showers, are they friends?" 

bad nerves started flowing through eiji's body and he felt his knees shake a bit while he tried to put his shoes on. 

_ it's nothing. nothing bad it's happening _. 

"yeah, they-they've been friends since we arrived here." he tried to block the shakiness on his voice and closed his bag finishing from betting ready. 

cain still seemed to notice, he was about to say something when out of nowhere someone yelled his name.

"okumura eiji you will stop ignoring my _ fucking _ calls and come here right now!" 

every pair of eyes looked at yut lung who was staring with fire in his eyes at eiji. 

he gulped and looked apologetically at cain who just chuckled. 

"go, we can talk later." 

eiji nodded and left giving a confused look at yue, who was now biting his lip…_ nervously? _

"what's going on, yue?" 

"i know you're ignoring me right now and you probably hate me-" 

"i don't hate you." eiji assured with pure honesty. 

yue sighed, relieved and both started walking out the showers. 

"i think you will now…" 

eji stared at yue, trying to understand what his best friend was saying. 

"what do you mean?" 

yue just sighed again, shaking a bit. eiji grabbed his hand and pressed it lightly, just like ash did to calm him down. 

apparently it helped yue, he smiled shortly and looked at eiji in the eye. 

"you need to see something." that was all he could say before taking eiji behind the showers. 

usually it was a place where students went to do illegal things. eiji didn't like it that much. most days it smelled bad because someone was there smoking weed. 

he was surprised noticing it didn't smell anything, like if no one was there. 

but he was wrong, _ oh so wrong. _

it all remind him to the day his dad had to go urgently to the hospital for the first time in japan. 

eiji was sixteen and a ball of nervous, trying to calm him and eight year old hiromi at the time, both of them with dried tears on their eyes while their mother was talking to the doctor with a desperate and painful look. 

he tried to understand and figure out what was happening. eiji knew his dad was sick but when he discovered him in his office, trying to breath and falling from his chair, something broke inside eiji. 

he could just scream his mother's name and try to tell his dad to keep his eyes open. 

his dad couldn't. the ambulance came and his mother forced eiji to stay behind with hiromi in his arms. 

everyone was crying and hurting. 

it was something eiji could have never prevented, even if he haunted himself every night wondering…what if he had noticed sooner? what if he wasn't so distracted by pole vaulting and could have seen his dad struggling? what if he could have been a better son? 

it was horrible. eiji was living a nightmare. 

he was sad but it was unfair, he shouldn't be mopping. he had to help his mother to take care of hiromi because his dad was spending every day at the hospital and his mother was working so hard to keep him there. 

maybe that was the reason akira helped him a lot. even if her exact words were _ 'stop crying, you're useless if you're just crying.' _ eiji held onto them. 

akira was a light during those days. staying with eiji and helping him to take care of hiromi and the house. hugging him and reminding him his dad was getting better every day and that he should stay strong during those days.

eiji wasn't sure what he would've done without her, without her honest words and spontaneous hugs. he really care for her. he honestly did, so fucking much. 

maybe that was why his heart shattered completely at the sight of akira making out with arthur. 

and eiji was an idiot for thinking that akira was going to do something. deny it, say it was a mistake, _ anything _. 

but she didn't. akira was always honest after all. 

"i was getting bored, eiji. you really cannot blame me. you haven't paid me attention for a while, only thinking about your sick father and dumb sister." 

the words didn't click. eiji was only staring at her dark eyes. why did he never noticed there wasn't a single glow in them. why did he gave so much for someone who _ got bored of him. _

yut lung was yelling now. cursing and saying things eiji has never heard in real life. akira didn't seem bothered by them. arthur even laughed. 

how could eiji trust so much on akira? how could he think that what they had was worth the pain, tough words, not loving hugs, awkward kissing and discouraging acts. 

how could he think that because akira was the only person there when he was at his worst she was the only good person out there. 

when arriving to america he met yue, sing, shorter and _ aslan _. 

how could he let her see him cry like he did when he was at the hospital waiting room, hiromi crying louder than him and his mother begging for the doctors to save their father's life. 

how could akira look at him and not feel an ounce of regret, pain or shame. because those horrible honest eyes were looking at him with a smile, the worst smile eiji has ever seen. 

"i'm sorry, eiji." she wasn't sorry. _ she wasn't sorry at fucking all _. "but i wasn't going to spend my senior year with someone like you." 

eiji tried not to, but he choked at those words. yut-lung's hand pressing him was a distant touch. 

"when i was at your car, last week…and you said you needed me, and we talked a lot and hugged. you told me i was the best thing you could've ever found, was…_ was that true?" _

eiji hated how broken his voice sounded but he needed to know. he had to know. 

for the first time, a different light appeared on akira's eyes, she turned to arthur who seemed uncomfortable there but didn't seem like he wanted to leave. she bit her lip. in a second the eyes eiji was used to look were back. 

"i lied. i just said it because i didn't want you to believe whatever yut lung would say to you." 

"but why?" eiji asked shaking. 

akira sighed. "i liked you, eiji. i really did. you helped me when japan was suffocating me, you defended me when my parents were ashamed of me not being the boy they wanted. but it was not enough. i started feeling distant when we both came to new york, i realized asking you out was a mistake. we wanted different things, we always had. and yet, why did you let this continue? because i talked to you? because i was your only friend back in izumo?"

"because i thought we both liked each other. i thought that we could deal with everything together." eiji answered truthful. 

she laughed at that, eiji flinched and yut lung was about to go back to curses but akira was faster. "you're so naive, eiji. you have always been…i admit that attracted me from you but was also the reason i cheated on you." 

eiji eyes were hurting from crying and feeling the universe against him he nodded. "so…this is all?" 

"this is all." akira confirmed. "were over." 

he couldn't say anything else, he didn't know what to say. it was real. what he feared the most became a reality. 

akira cheated on him. and now they were over. 

the tears couldn't stop falling, he tried so hard to stop them while yue walked him out of there and held him, reassuring him it was alright. 

"just, let it all. don't keep anything. let everything out, im here, _ it's going to be alright." _

eiji just sobbed harder. 

"w-why y-yue, _ why did this had to h-happen?" _ eiji tried to ask sobs coming out at every word he said. 

yue held him harder. 

"i don't know, eiji, _ i don't fucking know." _

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the name of the chapter is inspired by the song with the same name. in one part it says 'and the love that you made me fight for  
was never love at all' and that just screamed eiji and akira so yeah. thank you again for reading


	10. paintball field

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eiji has a revelation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM.SO.SORRY.I.TOOK.SO.LONG.OHMYGOD. but i just started school and it's too intense so thank you to everyone who's still reading!!!!!

the news about akira ibe breaking up with eiji okumura was something probably no one saw coming in their high school. 

not even ash. 

after their last conversation, ash assumed it would take a lot for eiji to accept it. 

he didn't thought he would know that akira and arthur were making out behind the showers. he didn't thought akira was going to spit that they were over and that it was _ eiji's fault. _he didn't thought that the moment it was going to happen he wouldn't be able to be with eiji. 

_ he didn't thought. _and ash hated himself for it. 

it was friday when he finally saw eiji, he was with yut lung and sing on the cafeteria. 

yut lung was the one who filled him and shorter about the real news, not the rumours going around in high school. 

_ 'did you hear akira broke up with eiji?' _

_ 'yeah! i thought eiji was the one who broke akira's heart though' _

_ 'from what i heard he was acting like a real asshole to her' _

ash wanted to vomit, and even tried to defend his friend, but shorter always stopped him when he was going for the fists. 

it was days of silence from eiji's part. ash tried to call him several times and send him messages but eiji responded only once, saying he was alright but needed time to think. 

he felt horrible, promising him forever but not being able to stay with eiji like he wanted to. 

but he had to respect that, if eiji wanted time, ash would march desert and sea to get him that.

he was surprised when he saw eiji and didn't look sad or bad, there was pain on that angel's face, yes. but the tears didn't seem to come and ash felt so proud and happy for how strong eiji was. 

akira didn't deserve those tears, she didn't deserve eiji at all. the only good thing that came from their breakup was now eiji could be able to be with someone who truly loved and supported him.

and that is all ash wanted. 

"should we go sit with them?" shorter asked just as doubtful as ash was. 

he sighed. "i don't know." 

"didn't you proposed last saturday?" 

ash snorted at that. "it wasn't a proposal. and that was before this became, _ a mess." _

he sounded serious but both him and shorter knew he felt butterflies at the word _ proposal. _

_ this is not the damn time! _ he screamed internally to his belly. 

"well, you did promised, forever and shit. so i think _ we should _ go with them." shorter said wisely. 

"i don't really k-" 

"eiji! yut! peanut! let's go to chang dai!" 

ash slammed his hand to his forehead because shorter yelled that in front of the whole cafeteria and now every single person there was looking at them. 

_ you're fucking big mouth oh my god. _

"that's fantastic, shorter." yut lung groaned. 

but it did the work. quickly, the three of them got up from their sits and without a last glance to the whole audience the five left the place. 

_ "god, _ that was awkward." sing said shaking his head. 

"it fucking was. what the hell shorter?" yut lung said starting to walk next to him. 

shorter just sniggered. "it was priceless and needed! the whole school has been tense for a while, we had to shake things up." 

yut lung rolled his eyes. "if you say so." 

eiji didn't say anything, looking at the distance with a blank stare. ash was worried but didn't want eiji to felt worse if he said the wrong thing. 

so he just stopped walking next to shorter and step back next to eiji. 

his usual bright warm eyes were a little distant now when he noticed ash. 

"hi." 

"hi, eiji." he said trying to sound as soft as possible. "are you feeling up for chang dai?" 

eiji just shrugged. "i'm not that hungry." 

"have you eaten yet?" ash couldn't help but sound worried. 

it was a surprise when eiji smiled quietly and fast. "hiromi and mom gave me a big breakfast today, apparently it was a way of saying they were proud of me for coming today." 

ash smiled at that. at least eiji's wasn't alone this days. that was heartwarming. 

"hey." 

eiji looked at him. 

"im proud of you too." he said genuinely. "i-i can bet this days have been hard, and i know it will take time for you to feel good again but just… remember our promise." 

eiji nodded with a tight smile. "forever right?" 

"damn right, forever." he chuckled and eiji did too. 

"i'm sorry i didn't talk to you, aslan. i just…it was so _ fucking _ bad, i spent the whole afternoon crying in yue's house and then my mom picked me up and i just let everything out with her too. i was so drained, i couldn't even go to work with ibe-san because i knew she was going to be there. "

ash couldn't help but grab his hand and give a tiny kiss to his knuckles. "you don't have to apologize, eiji, believe me, it is alright, okay?" 

eiji looked at their joined hands and nodded. "okay." 

with silence, they kept walking holding hands, it was really nice to know that eiji was still comfortable enough with ash. finally they arrived to the wong's restaurant and sat down on their usual table. 

"how are you feeling, eiji?" shorter asked looking through the menu. 

"it's…getting better. how's band practice?" eiji asked interested.

"perfect! we're finally finishing this song that we were writing for a while." 

"that's nice, are you having a gig soon?" he asked looking now at ash too. 

"we damn do." 

"not really." 

both shorter and ash said at the same time, sing snorted, yut lung rolled his eyes and eiji just giggled. 

"we haven't found anything right now." ash explained while shorter pouted. "but when we do, you're the first one we will tell." 

eiji smiled."thank you." 

"so what are we going to eat? not to ruin the moment but we only have twenty minutes left." sing said. 

"sing, _ you fatass _, we ate in the cafeteria!" yut lung said. 

"then why did we came here!" 

now everyone looked at shorter and ash expectantly. 

shorter coughed. "hum, well, it was ash's idea! besides i want to eat and yue, peanut here can eat whenever he wants and because of that he is not a fatass." 

yut lung scowled and looked at eiji. "do you want to stay?" 

eiji stared at his best friend's face for a second and then at his hand that was being held by ash's. 

he returned his look to yut lung and smiled. "i want to stay." 

yut lung sighed and nodded. "so we are going to ditch school?"

sing's eyes widened. "we're not going back?!" 

"_ we _ are not." yut lung said pointing at everyone but sing. "you will." 

the peanut scoffed. "but why?!" 

"you're fourteen and dumb." yut lung stated as if it was obvious. 

"you're sixteen and a prick!" 

"shorter!" yut lung and sing yelled at the same time. 

"what, brats?" shorter asked just as done as eiji and ash looked at seeing the young ones fight. 

"i want to ditch too." 

"now, little peanut, you know that if i let you do that your parents a. k. a. my uncles will kill me, right? and nadia will return me from the death and kill me too." 

sing whined. "but i want to!" 

"we can bring him." ash said. "if you and yut lung behave we all can go." 

"where are we going?" eiji asked. 

ash thought for a second and smiled. "alex's second job place." 

"his parents will kill me if they find out." shorter said hitting his forehead in the wooden table. "fuck."

_ "moroon _ . it's not like we're ditching all day! there are only two hours left, besides they won't find out, _ god _, weren't you the cool cousin?" ash said trying to persuade. 

it took a minute for shorter to sigh. "fuck it." 

they all cheered and sing even threw himself to shorter's arms.

"god, you _ are _ getting heavy!" 

"i'm fourteen and growing okay?" 

shorter laughed. "okay, peanut. fuck, so are we going or what?" 

"again. where is alex's second job place?" yut lung said looking at ash. 

"it's not actually alex's but his friends from college always let us go for free." 

"what is it then?" eiji asked curiously. 

ash just pressed their hands. "it's a surprise." 

eji pouted, ash wanted to kiss him right there. 

"i just texted alex and he said it's fine, how are we going?" shorter said. 

"in the bus?" ash proposed. 

yut lung gagged. "hell no. my driver is already coming for us." 

_ what the actual f- _

_ "your driver?" _both shorter and ash yelled. 

"yes, my driver, keep up." he smirked and looked at eiji. "you really made us be friends with _them? _

eiji giggled. "you like them." 

"like hell i do." yut lung said sarcastically and took eiji's arm and pressed his cheek on his shoulder.

after that they decided to raid chang dai's kitchen, filling their bottle waters instead of taking new plastic ones because _ 'we shouldn't kill more nature!' _ or something along those lines yut lung said. ash didn't really pay attention, just stared in awe at eiji who was. 

shorter and ash stayed inside a little while to close and clean the mess they left while the other three were waiting outside for yut lung's driver. 

_ a driver, a fucking driver. _

ash was about to start complaining when shorter hit him with the establishment and house keys. 

_ "what the f-" _

"you're still going for eiji?" shorter asked not caring for ash's swearings. 

ash sighed, rubbing his cheek that got hit. "i'm trying but i don't want to hurt him." 

shorter hummed. "tsk, you won't. you're not akira. and you have proved that you are very good to him. you don't have to fucking propose, but let him know you're not leaving." 

ash looked at eiji who was laughing at something sing said. 

"he already knows that." ash said proudly. 

"then what are you going to do?"

he smiled, he has been thinking about this since saturday. when max and jessica were preparing dinner and michael asked ash to play a song. 

"i have a plan." ash stated determined. "and i need your help."

shorter's brows raised a bit but smirked. "what are we gonna do?" 

they both looked outside when the lee's driver arrived. sing, eiji and yue were already entering and sing screamed at shorter and ash to move their asses. 

"details later, so yes?" ash lend his hand. 

shorter took it fast and shook them. "fuck yes." 

they both smirked and joined the others, eiji looked less tired and distant than he did on the cafeteria and that thought made ash's heart swell. 

_ i'll make it right _ . ash promised. _ believe me when i say it. _

he just hope eiji does. 

  
  
  


______

  
  


"paintball?" yut lung said looking at the big sign. _ "fucking paintball?" _

shorter nodded. "yeah, what? do you have a better idea?" 

"yeah, i have a thousand." 

eiji snorted and grabbed yue's hands. "i think it's perfect! let's go!" 

"sweets, you really want to this?" yue asked a little bit irritated. 

eiji actually thought about it. after monday's disaster he really craved the distraction about his…ex girlfriend…and thankfully he had four friends for that. 

besides he looked back were sing and aslan were talking about something of a bet, eiji's heart flip a bit at the sight of the blonde's smile. 

"aha! you're just doing this for your white boy!" yue exclaimed noticing how eiji didn't stop staring at aslan.

_ well fuck. _

"i am not! i just…i was just looking around." 

yue snorted. "looking around my ass, let's go join the others." 

sing and ash were already wearing the suit armor while shorter was just putting it on with the help of one of the guys who work there. eiji heard his name was bones. 

_ does everyone here in america has weird names? _

"eiji! yue! put these on and let's go!" sing said very enthusiastic. 

the other guy who had a tag in his name that read _ 'kong' _gave them their own suits and they went to put them on. 

"eijiii! you ready to shoot everyone in the balls? that's the best part!" shorter said making bones laugh. 

eiji just chuckled. "i don't think i want to shoot anyone there to be honest." 

"aww! come on! just think it's akira or arthur and you'll be alright." 

it was an awkward silence after that. 

"too fucking soon, shorter." yue said rolling his eyes. 

_ "shit _, sorry eiji."

if eiji was honest, shorter's idea didn't seem that bad, so he laughed making the other three eyes wide. 

"it's fine." he reassured to both yue and shorter who seemed a little shock. "in that case i'm the one who should be sorry for whoever i shoot." he tried to joke, not wanting to think about what happened on monday, he cried enough. 

yue laughed and patted his shoulder. "oh, sweets. you can only wish for that." 

"god, eiji, the chills you gave me! now i'm scared of your pretty face." shorter sniggered. 

"are we making teams then?" bones asked. 

"hell yeah! bones, this is yut lung, a bitch, and that is eiji, an angel and already marked by the lynx so be careful." 

bones with a not toothy grin but a grin nonetheless shook both yue's and eiji's hands. "hello! alex has told kong and i about you guys." 

"it's nice to meet you." eiji said with a smile. 

bones cooed. _ "oh my god! _ you're as cute as ash told me!" 

eiji blushed a little at that. "h-he did?" 

"he damn did. don't worry, eiji, you're in good hands with him." bones said with a wink. 

and eiji for as flustered as he felt, knew those words were true. aslan has always been so nice and gentle with him. it was a plus that his hands, for how cold they were most of times, they always made eiji feel better and not alone. 

so he smiled. "i know."

bones smiled too and helped him and yue to get their suits on and finally they arrived to the paintball field were the other fives were waiting. 

"finally! you took so long!" sing groaned. 

"it was yut lung's fault." shorter said. 

"okay so how are we going to team up?" ash asked giving a brief smile to eiji who smiled back.

_ you're so pretty, _ eiji wanted to yell _ , how are you so pretty? _

"sing, bones, alex and i we're together!" shorter exclaimed grabbing both sing and alex's hands. 

if eiji saw shorter's and alex's cheeks tint a bit, he decided not to comment on it, just nodded and went to the other side were kong and ash high fived him. 

"do not fear, eiji. we're totally kicking their butts." kong said with a genuine and determined smile. 

"we better." aslan said joining the conversation and giving a look to the other four who were also in a circle.

"sing mentioned a bet…" yue murmured. 

"yeah, the little fucker, nothing to worry about." aslan replied with a warm look towards eiji. 

yue gagged at the sight but eiji could only think about how happiness was a nice look on aslan. 

"do you guys know how to play?" kong asked to both yue and eiji who denied. 

"shit." kong laughed. 

"kong, help yue with his gun and everything." aslan said to the older boy. 

"sure thing." 

kong started to explain the whole game to yue who seemed bored but attentive, eiji was also going to sit next to his best friend and listen to the other but aslan fastly grabbed his hand and took him to another side. 

"where are we going?" he couldn't help but ask and give a sorry look back to yue who just scoffed. 

"ah, i just wanted to know if this was alright. the whole paintball thing, i wanted you to get distracted with everything that was going on but i really don't…know what to do?" aslan chuckled. "you probably think it's very stupid and-" 

"it's not." eiji interrupted softly. "it's not stupid, at all." 

aslan let out a breathy smile. "that…okay, i'm glad." 

eiji giggled. "thank you, for everything. i really mean it." 

he really did. the days he got to spend with aslan were some of the most alive and joyful ones he have had in awhile. running away from trouble, dancing to their favorite songs, talking about their fears and passions. 

it was something eiji couldn't start to explain for how grateful he felt at knowing he had someone like aslan. 

someone who promised him to be by his side, forever. someone who he could held his hand, someone who just had to smile and everything that hurted eiji could melt away. 

it was quite strange, he doesn't remember having this feeling, of something unknown but wanting to get close, and that definitely made his belly do a flip. 

eiji felt a little bad for not talking to him in two days, was it rare he missed aslan like crazy? 

the thought of hiromi's words pop for that second, and the tint of his cheeks came a lot faster than he could imagine, it was so embarrassing but his crazy beating heart was saying something else.

_ did he like aslan? _

he didn't. 

_ ...did he? _

_ fuck, fuck, fuck, _why did he have to think about this right now? right in front of aslan! stupid mediocre heart and mind. 

he felt so stupid noticing he didn't hear what aslan was saying. 

"i'm sorry, what?" 

aslan, the sweetheart, just chuckled. "nothing, darling. just that if you need anything i'm here okay?" 

_ fucking aslan_. he had to say something like that now that eiji was noticed the way those words made him feel. _ stupid aslan, stupid, stupid, stupid- _

"of course. and that goes the same way for me, yes? we promised forever and all." eiji remembered wanting to slap himself. 

_ how could he be so fucking dumb oh my god- _

"y-yeah! we did!" aslan smiled. "so now, since you don't know how to play very well…don't leave my side okay?" 

how could eiji not notice the way aslan would say these type of things since day one? how could he not notice that aslan wasn't like this with anyone but him? 

and it wasn't fake. aslan was everything but fake. he wouldn't say this things just because, he must have a meaning right? 

and it wasn't just that, aslan was literally the person he thought dreams could only fabricate. aslan who was always so supportive, aslan who held him after friday's news, aslan who sang and danced with him, aslan who randomly read him haikus or full length poems, aslan who cried when they saw a movie on sunday, aslan who talked so passionate about his music and band, aslan who joked around with hiromi, aslan who called him _ darling,_ aslan who talked to him until early morning, aslan who got in trouble for the aesthetic and memories, aslan who hugged him and made him feel the safest.

aslan, who he missed after three days of not talking or seeing each other because eiji was a clingy piece of shit who needed time.

aslan who he promised with forever. 

_ aslan, aslan, aslan, aslan… _

he was thinking so loud he wanted to yell everything right now. 

but the game started and aslan was still holding his hand while shooting paint with the other. 

_ fuck, _he needed yut lung right now to snap him out of it, but he was with kong hiding behind one of those big black boxes, trying not to get shot by the other team. 

"never." was all eiji could say after the whole battle his mind was having. 

aslan just smiled and said he had to let go so he could_ 'end shorter'_. eiji nodded and tried to remember everything aslan told him. 

he wondered if aslan noticed how his words didn't only mean with the paintball game context…but perhaps something more.

_ oh my god, _ hiromi was right.

it was on the paintball field, were sing and ash's teams were fighting for an unknown bet. it was on the moment were aslan's ethereal eyes looked at him with that damn sunshine smile of his and said _"you're doing really good!" _when eiji, not knowing how, shoot alex right in the arm.

it was on the moment were his drumming heart stopped acting like crazy, like the wave already hit and now it was complete serenity and peace in the ocean.

it was after those days of holding hands and happy dancing and heartbreaking tears and joyful laughs. it was when eiji smiled, to himself and to the dreamy blue sky. 

it was on that paintball field where eiji realized... 

he liked aslan. 

  



	11. pink sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there is a bet, ash says fuck it.

_ \-----before the paintball game----- _

  


"what are your plans for eiji?" sing asked with furrowed brows in an attempt to sound intimidating. 

_ did i sound like that in freshman? _ash wondered. 

if he did, then hell, that would explain why everyone he tried to start a fight with didn't seem interested or scared. 

he wanted to laugh but he could see sing was trying, _ hard, _ so he let him keep going. 

"nothing you can prove." ash joked with a wink. 

"fucking hell, stop!" hit in the arm. "being!" hit in the other arm. "so!" hit in the belly, _ouch that one_ _hurted._ "cryptic!" 

he was going to hit him again but ash was faster so he stopped him and hit him in the head with just two fingers. 

"aw! come on! i just pushed you while you were trying to murder me!" ash said with a smirk at the sight of sing in the floor. 

"we will end this right now!" sing yelled. it was a surprise no one stopped to look what was going on inside the field. 

shorter, yut lung, bones and eiji darling were on the changing rooms and kong and alex were probably looking at the scene. 

ash looked around and yes, those two old fuckers were there looking at the comically. 

if one didn't knew the context, ash guessed it was pretty funny to see a seventeen year old fighting with a fourteen year old, he wished he was a watcher so he could laugh with the other two. 

but no, sing had other plans, apparently. 

"and how are we going to do that?" ash asked because really, he didn't understand what was going on. 

"a bet! on this game, if your team or mine wins, the other must pay!" sing sounded completely serious so ash tried to be too. 

"ah! a bet! and what are we giving?" 

"a date with eiji!" 

now, ash has had too many, what the fuck moments, hell, he could count them from the top of his head. 

but this? sing looking at him with a determined look and smirk, saying those words…

really, _ what the actual flying fuck- _

"what?" because that was all ash could respond with. 

"the winner will have a date with eiji!" 

it wasn't clicking. 

"come again?" ash choked not comprehending what was fantasy and what was reality. 

_"stop acting stupid! _ you heard me right! the winner will take eiji on a date and that will be it!" 

"now, why would _ you _ want to win for that?" ash needed to ask. 

but…what the hell, the look on little peanut's face said it all.

"...you like eiji?" 

sing was now sitting at the floor, but nodded. 

_ what the fuck. _

"i know…i know that with you i don't stand a chance, i know the look on eiji's face says _ 'i like aslan'." _this last part he said it with a very eiji's voice, they both smiled fondly. "i guess, i just want to try." 

ash didn't really know what to say, so he sat down next to sing. 

sing saying that eiji had _ 'i like aslan' _ on his face was haunting ash to the core, but he tried his best not to scream about that right now. 

so he hit softly the back of sing's neck. 

_ "what the f-" _

"okay, we will do that." 

sing nodded, as if he wouldn't expect ash to agree but ash gave his hand with a determined look. 

if the only problem he would have to deal now was a bet against sing so he could have a date with eiji (not as if he still wouldn't try if he lose) then so be it. 

sing shook both of their hands, the fourteen year old smirking as if this was a bite of cake. 

ash would laugh but if there was a thing that could not be stopped, it was a guy who would do everything for the one he likes. 

and right now, the both of them had that in mind. 

so he smirked back, there was no way he would let the little shit win. 

"may the best shooter win eiji's heart." sing said. 

_ aaand _ the mood was gone. ash started laughing. 

_ "oh my god, _ that was _ terrible." _ he wheezed. 

sing had fuming cheeks now and hit him with his tiny ass hand. 

_ "i'm trying, okay!" _

ash just laughed harder. 

  
  


______

  
  


ash has never been a competitive type. if he won, fine, fucking perfect, if he didn't… fine! fucking perfect! 

but right now it was ride or die, and ash _ wasn't _ going to die. 

bless eiji okumura who shot alex in the arm and with a resigned sigh he raised his gun and left the field. ash would usually pout and feel bad but he was still hawking at the little shit that was sing, the motherfucker hiding behind shorter who was going for yut-lung. 

"this is for alex!" shorter yelled and started shooting at where kong and yut-lung were.

kong rapidly started shooting back, while yut lung screamed and tried to be in fetal position so he wouldn't get hit. 

ash was about to laugh at him for how ridiculous he looked but shut up when bones shot kong on the leg.

_ "motherfucker!" _kong yelled in pain and went to the dead zone. 

"we're gonna die." eiji whispered with wide eyes.

"we are not gonna die." ash reassured but cursed in his mind, the only person who was amazingly good at this game was shot by his best friend.

eiji was also, not surprisingly, amazing at this for this being his first game, but the look he had on his face right now meant he wasn't planning on keep on shooting. 

ash stared at the last member of his team with a sigh. 

"yut lung! come here!" he yelled as calm but strong as possible. 

yut lung just showed him his middle finger. 

_ "fuck off, _ ash lynx, just fuck off." the long haired boy muttered laying on the floor. 

ash couldn't believe kong was fucking shot before the mess yut lung was, but decided not to scream about it, eiji was by his side and he didn't need another person to give up just right now. 

"i'm going with yut lung, yes?" eiji said before ash could decide a plan.

"what? hell no! you'll get shot!" ash responded with furrowed brows. 

eiji, the goddamn angel, just smiled with a look ash doesn't remember seeing before and that just made a tint on his cheeks rise. 

_ thank fucking god _ for the big ass mask he was wearing, eiji couldn't see how gay panicked he was. 

"it's okay! just cover me, yes?" eiji asked with those eyes, _ those eyes. _

ash couldn't say no to those eyes dammit!

"please be careful." ash pleaded. 

"i will." and with a last breathtaking smile eiji ran towards his best friend. 

the blonde didn't waste time and while everyone of the other team was going for eiji not covering themselves ash started shooting them, he grin in joy when a big blue splash appeared on bones chest.

_ "son of a bitch!" _shorter screamed. 

bones just whined in pain and gave a last shot towards ash but he easily avoid it. 

now shorter and sing were the last ones he had to eliminate and he would win! sing wasn't shooting as much as his cousin which was odd…what was the little shit planning? 

he didn't have a time, it looks like sing was very _ very _ serious about winning, he started running like a bullet to the other side he was hiding and before ash could scream yellow blast all over yut lung's back. 

_ "yue!" _

"yut lung!" 

_ "what the fuck sing!" _yut lung roared in pain trying to look at his back. 

"you're dead! get out!" sing yelled with a mischievous tone. 

"calm down, little peanut." shorter said from the other other side where he couldn't be seen. 

sing shut up at that and it was complete silence where eiji was helping yut lung to get up and go to the dead zone since the dramatic bitch didn't seem to want to go alone. 

but ash was wrong. yut lung had other plans. 

in a fast movement he grabbed eiji's gun and shot shorter in the leg just as he was going to hide in another place. 

_ "come on! this not allowed!" _shorter yelled while yut lung smirked and bones and kong just straight up denied.

"the game is taking too long, just…both of you leave." alex responded making shorter gasp. 

"the audacity!" shorter said with an upset tone. "and here i thought we had something, alex…" 

ash saw the way alex just babbled trying to answer that but shorter raised his finger making him stop. 

"not now." 

alex nodded with a sigh, ash raised a brow trying to figure out what was going on with his best friend and the drummer. 

but sing yelled a very loud _ "game on!" _ making him snap and search for the fourteen year old. 

ash felt his belly hurt from the nerves, it was ride or die again, he had to find sing and end this whole thing that was almost an hour going. 

he turned towards eiji who was in a different hiding place from last time, ash tried to sign with his hands his plan but eiji just returned a confused look. 

what the hell, even with a mask eiji was a cute ass shit, ash wanted to scream. 

he stand up and started searching for sing, not trying to hide anymore because he honestly wanted to go home, sleep and plan with shorter what they were doing on saturday. 

so that was what he did, looking at the long field in search of a brat, he was standing where originally sing's team was hiding when eiji _ yelled. _

_ "look out!" _

ash without thinking twice turned to his side and started shooting where he thought sing would be but no one, besides eiji who was also now standing with wide eyes, was there. 

"you forgot to search on the most important place…" 

_ for fucking god's sakes. _

"...your back." 

ash turned around and there was sing with a smirk and pointing the gun at his head. 

he needed to stay calm, it was just a game, sing was just a kid. 

but he couldn't stay fucking calm because this wasn't just a game! a date with eiji was in the table and sing wasn't just a kid, he wanted the date just as much as ash wanted.

and a bet's a bet, ash had to respect that. scout's honor. 

"you won, just don't shoot me in the head." ash muttered bitterly because honestly? this sucks, what the fuck. 

sing just laughed trying to sound as evil as a fourteen year old could. "ah, you got me, i'm not going to shoot your head, i'm going for…_ eiji?" _

now that was a dick move, _ what the fuck sing. _

"just fucking shoot me instead!" ash yelled because _ what the fuck sing, _ wasn't this the guy who was doing everything for having a date with eiji? 

_ "no, idiot! ei-" _

sing couldn't finish the sentence, pink spread all over his belly and screams of joy and shock sounded all over the paintball field. 

ash looked with wide eyes at sing's belly and then turned to his left where a shaky eiji with an angelic grin stand. 

"you shot sing." ash muttered. 

"he freaking shot me." sing whispered barely loud enough.

"i shot him." eiji said with a grin. 

eiji shoot sing, sing lost, ash won. 

he couldn't believe it right now and it was a great moment to jump to his arms and kiss him madly right there because ash just liked eiji that much. 

but the rest of the guys were faster and tackled eiji to the floor. ash smiled with a fond look. 

"take care of him." sing muttered staring at the pink paint on his suit.

"take him on too many to count dates, play as many songs as he wants, give him gifts, hug him, hold his hand, kiss him, make sure he knows you love him, assure him you'll be with him as long as he wants to…" sing sighed and looked straight at ash's eyes. "take. care. of. him. or i will shoot _ you _ in _ your _ belly." 

ash smiled and gave his hand. 

"i will do better." he promised.

because he was going to. he wasn't going to let this down, he wasn't going to take away the light on eiji's eyes and he was going to prove him and sing and everyone he would be with eiji okumura as long as he can. 

sing nodded tight. "i don't hate you, just don't forget this promise." 

ash felt relief at that, sing may be young but he had a good heart and passion. he really liked the kid ever since shorter introduced them when sing was only nine, it was a weight of his shoulders the fact this wasn't going to end their friendship. 

"you're a great kid, sing. i know you'll find someone who loves you, _ humongous." _ash said looking at sing who was now staring at the group yelling joyfully at eiji. 

ash tried not to gasp too hard noticing sing's eyes were on yut lung.

so he smirked, hitting lightly at sing's shoulder. "maybe you already found him."

sing blushed at that. "shut up." 

ash laughed and ruffled his hair. "let's go, peanut. we're going for food." 

"only shorter can call me peanut." sing hissed.

"you don't want me to call you peanut?" 

sing stayed silent. 

"okay…peanut." 

they didn't say anything else, just smiled fondly at each other and walked behind the other six who wanted to go for food somewhere. 

shorter looked back at them with a grin and stand between the two, his arms on both sing and ash's shoulders. "so…what was the bet?" 

  
  
  
  
  


______

  
  
  
  


it was six pm when ash and eiji left the restaurant where the group decided to eat after the game. 

they were there first ones to leave and probably all of them besides eiji knew what was going on. 

ash felt like a dumbass for telling all of them he liked eiji and wanted to confess it to him because if he ended up not doing it he was going to get shit by all of them.

figuratively and literally. 

he remembers feeling like throwing up last week when he was sitting behind eiji, wanting to talk to him for the first time. 

ash still doesn't know if it was a blessing or curse that eiji beat him to it but he wasn't going to complain. 

when they left the restaurant, the others decided to stay and whistle loudly when ash grabbed eiji's hand and the latter blushed lightly, he wondered if eiji felt the same way or it was only friendship for him. 

for that reason and the fact eiji got dump this monday made him step back and reconsider everything. what if eiji didn't want to be in a relationship? with him? ash would instantly respect it but he can't deny he would feel horrible for ruining their friendship. 

everyone reassured him it was going to be fine and that in the end he had to do what he believed in the most.

eiji and yut lung were in the bathroom during that, but they all filled yut with everything said the moment he left the bathroom before eiji did, so now they all knew ash was trying to confess right now. 

which was hard when eiji's hand was still in his and his pretty angel eyes were looking at the pink sky. if it was possible, this was all ash wanted in life. 

a voice like shorter's was saying _ "it's possible!" _inside ash's head, he stopped daydreaming about it and tried to pay attention at what eiji was saying. 

_ "...w-what?" _ash said poorly. 

eiji giggled at that. "i was asking if you wanted to go somewhere else? or do you want to go home?" 

he took a second to think, he _ should _ go home to plan everything for tomorrow's events, but eiji was glowing like the sunshine he is and ash couldn't let this moment go. 

nah, fuck it, he already told the boys his plan (who said it was_ 'bullshit and eiji deserved better' _ but shut up when they knew the story behind it) 

"at least give him flowers or something." bones said. 

"...or just do anything else, seriously, ash, does these bet you two had was that important? maybe eiji doesn't remember it." shorter added. 

"eiji _ does _ remember but he thinks he won because of the whole mess." yut lung said rolling his eyes. 

that made ash second guess. did he lost _ that _ bet? he hoped not, it wasn't like he wanted to stop talking but he knew eiji needed time so painfully they didn't talk. 

ash thought he was a drama queen about it, griffin was the one who agreed with that but said it was normal since the moment eiji and him started talking they connected and stopping that connection abruptly _ was _ going to affect. 

thank god eiji came to school today, ash doesn't know what he would've done if eiji decided not to go with them. 

but here they were, together, walking in the very woken streets of new york, hand in hand. if someone asked ash if they were a couple he would most likely say yes. 

yeah, he didn't want to go home now. 

"let's to to the park!" ash said with a happy tone. 

_ jesus, _thirteen year old emo ash would've been disappointed about it. 

"okay!" eiji answered with the same sound and they both ran giggling to the park. 

they probably looked like crackheads but ash wouldn't want it any other way. when they arrived ash took him to his favorite place where the flowers were blooming and a lot of dogs were there. 

"i always wanted a dog." eiji sighed dreamily at the sight of dogs running and playing. "my dad said it was fine for him, hiromi also wants one but mom said no because they would be messy and we would just spoil it." 

ash nodded and made himself a reminder to give eiji a dog one day. 

"during the first months when griffin and i arrived to new york, we liked to come here, to this exact place. he would be working or writing while i play with my toys or bothering the dogs." he chuckled. "this one day i was being a little irritating, i think. a dog bite me in the arm." 

he could see eiji trying not to laugh and that made him laugh first. 

"god, _ aslan!" _ eiji giggled _ very _ loudly _ very _ cutely. 

"it's true! ask griffin he probably took pictures of that day." ash said replaying the moment in his head. "he spent all afternoon reading me this poem i love a lot just to calm me down." 

"he reads you poems?" eiji asked with his ethereal-fucking-beautiful-face. 

"y-yeah. he was the one who introduced me to everything i know, back in cape cod, things were _ kinda _ hard…" _ (very hard) _ "...i don't know, the poem he read to me one day became like…my everything and those pleasant words helped me, a lot." he gulped at the thought.

eiji stayed silent at that but nodded. they both just looked at the dogs playing when he asked several minutes later. 

"what was the poem?" 

ash's breath shake a little at that. 

"it talks about loving and be loved, griffin wrote it." he smiled. "i…god, when i was a kid i was obsessed with it and so i took it out of griffin's journal and put it in my wall, he notice right away but didn't mind, he knows how much it means to me." 

"that's adorable." eiji's whispered laying his head down on ash's shoulder. "i don't remember seeing the poem when i went to your house." 

"of course you didn't, you were thirsting all over my vinyl collection to notice." 

eiji snorted at that but blushed lightly. "say it." 

"what?" 

"the poem, say it." he said oh so lovely ash's heart melt. 

"im shy..." ash tried to joke. 

no, he wasn't shy. but these days with eiji…he realized every time he looked at his wall how much the poem sounded as if it was about them and that made his stomach feel flowers bloom from inside, ash adored it. 

an idea popped in his head. maybe the poem could work as a confession. 

(even if _ say you like me _ was also a confession but he decided not to hold onto that one because probably eiji didn't thought too much about it and just enjoyed it) 

and the scenario of today works. they were laying in the park's grass, the sun was about to go down making a beautiful painting appear all over the now very pink sky. it was perfect and so gorgeous, ash's hopeless romantic heart fluttered in delight.

"no you're not." eiji said with his pearl smile. 

ash smiled too, remembering all these days. "no, i'm not." 

_ah_ _fuck it,_ go big or go home. 

_ "somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond…" _ and so, he continued saying it. 

he really doesn't know what it was that made him say it so naturally and calmly, as if his mind, heart and soul inside weren't crying of nervousness because of eiji. 

eiji who looked at him the same way he looked at him when he sang, the same way he looked at him when ash grabs his hand, the same way as when ash would ramble about something, anything. 

and that made ash's heart feel _ joy, _as he said the sweet and inviting words his brother wrote a long time ago, his mind wondered if eiji was seeing through it and if eiji was understanding this love letter.

ash fucking hoped so. he knew he liked eiji, oh so _ fucking _ much. and if time and patience was on his side, maybe one day he could say that he loved purely and wholeheartedly eiji. 

because with him it didn't felt wrong, it didn't felt weird. was it new? yes. was it different? yes. was it worth it? a million times yes. ash knew he could love eiji, he knew it very well. 

and the angelical face of eiji, listening to ash's words carefully and his hand touching ash's so softly, all of that was saying, responding to his words, that maybe yes, eiji could too. 

_ "...nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands." _

they both stared at each other, as if they could see what was going on inside the other's soul. eiji smiled softly and ash was a weak man, so he smiled back. 

this moment, was something ash could never get over. eiji by his side. holding each other while the wind blew softly and the pink sky glowed. 

_ was this heaven? _ ash thought. _ it really looks like heaven. _

"aslan." 

"yeah?" 

it took a little bit for eiji to say whatever he was trying to say. 

"what's up?" ash asked again.

"when we promised forever, are you a hundred percent sure you meant it?" 

he didn't hesitate. "yes. i mean it." eiji nodded with a smile and closed his eyes. 

ash took a _ long _ breath, _ now or never. _

"eiji?" 

"yes?" he answered with his eyes still closed looking so calm. 

was this a fuck it moment? perhaps. _ fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck- _

"i like you." 

eiji opened his eyes very wide, ash gulped. 

"w-what?" 

"i like you, eiji." 

eiji didn't respond, just kept staring at ash as if wasn't real. 

"you like me." he whispered. 

ash nodded not knowing what else to do now. "i like you." 

he nodded too and then… 

eiji smiled. 

hell, that was a grin! eiji was grinning! he hide his head on ash's neck and he could feel eiji's breath and warm cheeks. "you like me." 

"y-yeah, um…can you, can you say anything else?" 

eiji just giggled and pressed each other's hands, the grin didn't seem to disappear. 

"oh, aslan." 

"that's, that's it?!" ash said nervously biting his lip because what the fuck was going on, this wasn't funny, why is eiji still giggling?

the worst part! giggling cutely!_ …that bastard. _

"i like it! _ say it again!" _

ash groaned because this wasn't what he had planned.

"no. you're messing with me." ash couldn't help but pout like a kid. 

he had the right to pout! not like eiji who was giggling and asking ash to repeat those three words. he had no rights! 

eiji, the bastard, just giggled but stopped abruptly. ash furrowed his brows confused. 

alright the giggling was better than the silence, what the hell. 

"i like you too, aslan." eiji whispered so softly in his ear, ash thought it wasn't real. 

_ what? _

"what?" 

_ what? what the fuck? _

"i like you too." 

not…it wasn't real…this wasn't happening. 

ash looked at eiji who finally stopped giggling and hiding on his neck and was now looking back at him, his pretty cheeks rosy. 

he say it, eiji just said it. 

eiji said he liked him too. twice. 

"you mean it? you're not messing or saying it in a friendly way?" 

don't blame him for sounding clingy, he needed to be sure! 

eiji smiled and put his head back on ash's shoulder. 

"yes. i'm not messing with you, i like you, aslan. see it in the most...romantic way possible." eiji was blushing so damn hard it was hypnotizing. 

but ash went back to his words. _ eiji liked him. _ eiji liked him im the most romantic way possible. eiji liked him! 

ash needed to yell. he just had to yell because eiji just said he liked him. 

so ash, got up rapidly on his feet, looked at his surroundings and with the biggest grin he could put he _ screamed. _

_ "EIJI LIKES ME!" _

his throat hurt but everyone there seemed to get the message. so he looked back at eiji with a dumb smile and the latter just smiled back and walked towards him. 

what he did next shock him more than the actual news. 

_ "ASLAN LIKES ME!" _

ash laughed at that, he liked the right boy. griffin would be proud. 

interrupting eiji from his screaming, ash grabbed him in his arms and hugged him, tight. eiji's arms held him too and ash wanted to cry because his dream was becoming true. 

after that, they last approximately five more minutes screaming embarrassing things that a cop came and told them to leave since they really were acting like crackheads and the old people were getting scared. 

they really didn't care about it, just grabbed each others hands and went back to eiji's house were the angel would ask ash if he wanted to stay but ash would kindly say no because he had a surprise for him. 

eiji just blushed and hugged him a last time. 

"i'll see you later?" he asked a little worried. 

ash bit his lip because he wanted to scream again because of this angel. 

so he just kissed him, in the forehead. 

"i'll see you later." ash confirmed, feeling glad at the sight of eiji a lot calmer. 

"okay, good night, aslan." he said and so quickly kissed ash's right cheek. 

alright ash wasn't going to scream, he was going to be put on coma because of that. 

_ oh my god i need to tell everyone. _

"night, darling." ash said and with a last loving smile he left. 

what should he do now? it was eight pm when ash was feeling like the luckiest guy in new york city, he walk back home, a grin never leaving his face and imagining what eiji could be doing right now. 

he definitely had to tell shorter and the rest of the guys, they were probably bombarding him with messages right now.

also griffin must be worried for him, he had to call his brother and tell him he was okay and on his way. 

still, all he could do was look at the starlight and think with a fond smile. 

he liked eiji, eiji liked him. just like today the sky was pink and tomorrow will be too. ash smiled at that, he really was never going to forget this, ever. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the poem that ash said was 'somewhere i have never traveled gladly beyond' by e. e. cummings!!! it's very pretty and i recommend you should check it thank you so much for reading!!!!!!!!!!


	12. hard times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things get complicated.

sometimes, things don't go as planned, and ash was learning that the hard way. 

"oh my god are you telling me you cannot play today? fucking today, alex?" 

"dude you know i would be there if i could! i'm not being an asshole right now! i really can't be there." 

"but i told you yesterday i needed you today! right now! it wasn't like…like a random thing or anything!" 

"it was kinda random and fast you didn't give me enough details."

"oh my god fu-" 

"look, this is what we're going to do. grab your acoustic and play another song." 

ash wanted to laugh right now but he would probably start sobbing. 

"and what? what song? you know i told you that song is the one i had to play! it's not a consideration or anything, i have to play that song." 

"then do it acoustically!" 

"oh my god, alex!" 

"ash!" 

the blonde couldn't deal with this anymore, with a last groan he hung up and stared at his bedroom ceiling wondering if it was a good idea to leave new york and go to…anywhere else. 

he was about to start packing his essentials when griffin opened the door with a confused look and a plate of avocado shrimp salad.

"i heard cursing and thought you needed it." 

ash let a dry laugh with a nod, griffin put the plate on the table and sat down next to his brother. 

"so, what's up?" 

"nothing's up, everything is going to hell, very fast, very down." he said biting angrily a shrimp. 

griffin nodded. "so you're not going to sing to eiji anymore? you seemed pretty happy about that last night." 

"i mean, i-i was, i really was, i still am. it's just, i don't know how i will do that without alex or shorter." 

griffin hummed. "that must suck." 

ash laughed. "that's it? must suck?" 

"what should i tell you? that you're acting like a dumbass? it's not like you don't know that already." 

"wow-wow." _what the hell griffin._ "i am the dumbass? me? the dumbass?" 

"i don't see anyone here but you so yeah, you're the dumbass." 

"unbelievable." ash grinned. "even my own older brother is on alex's side. what's next? eiji?" 

"if you keep playing dumb then yeah." griffin sighed. "look, ash. i'm not saying im not on your or alex's side. i just want to understand why are you getting so fed up with this? is it an indirect way to say you don't want to ask eiji?" 

"NO!" ash yelled, he screamed, loud. "god, no. i still want to ask him and everything i'm just-i'm just nervous." 

griffin arched a brow. "why? you told me he also likes you, what are you nervous of?" 

"i don't know! i just am! what if it all goes wrong? what if eiji decides it's not the time? what if-" 

"alright, alright, i get it." he patted on ash's shoulders. 

"do you remember what you promised me when you were seven?" 

ash tried to recall but griffin kept going. 

"you promised me you were going to use the poem i wrote you were so obsessed about and tell it to someone you loved. someone you would go through heaven and hell for. " 

"but it's so hard, why is it so difficult to do, this." ash said arms open trying to demonstrate how big this whole mess was. 

seemed like griffin understood, he chuckled a bit. "nothing in life comes easy, ash. that's something we both know very well." 

"i know, it's just, why today?" 

"why keep worrying? why thinking too much about scenarios that are lifetimes away from possible? why keeping all this love you have inside?" griffin stand up and looked with a determined smile ash wished he had. "come on, i'm taking you to eiji's. get this over with and then you will ask him for a date and tell him all this you're feeling. it's not good to lock all inside you know?" 

ash sighed. "i know." 

"come on! stop acting like a zombie and get ready or else…" 

ash smirked. "or else what?" 

"i'm going to tell eiji about cape cod two thousand ten." 

"oh my god, griffin. you wouldn't dare-" 

"oh i will. i'm calling him right now, look! i'm dialing-" 

ash ran fast towards the bathroom and locked himself in there. griffin, the bastard, knew how to make ash feel like a thirteen year old getting red-handed. 

"i'm here! stop, griffin, okay?!" 

griffin just laughed out loud. "get a damn shower, kid." 

"griffin!" 

"i'm not calling, jesus. i don't even have his number how in the world was i going to call him?" 

"older brother powers? maybe?" 

"ah, ash. you're so tall and old now but you're still the same five year old obsessed with my poems." 

ash felt himself blush. he would try to deny but he really was proud for being such a fan of griffin's works. his brother was just really good. 

but he wouldn't say that, griffin already knew it. what he said instead was. 

"i didn't even finish my salad!" he remembered with a growl in his stomach. 

like always, griffin just laughed. 

______

"pathetic." 

"it was not pathetic!" 

"it was pathetic, eiji. i could do a better confession than he did." 

eiji groaned because yut lung would obviously hate the way ash told him he liked him. 

but eiji adored every second of it so he didn't care and ate another chip. 

he and yut lung were hanging out in his room, the original idea was that yut lung would help him to do his homework (even if his best friend is one year younger but neither cared about that) but the first thing he did was asking what the hell happened with ash last night. 

and well, eiji couldn't not tell the story! he still felt funny butterflies in his belly when he thought about it. 

"so what are you going to do now?" yut lung asked with his feet up in the wall. 

"uh, i don't know." 

yut lung snorted and looked at his phone.

"i have to go." 

eiji stopped biting the lemon chip. 

"wha?" 

"not-to-im! i'm going…to the bathroom, yes. i'm going to the bathroom, _see ya." _

eiji looked with furrowed brows to his best friend leaving his bedroom. number one because, yut lung never talked like that, at all. number two because, he has never heard the words _'see ya'_ leave from yut lung's lips. 

it was a rare feeling and he was definitely going to ask what did he see on his phone to act like that. 

"weirdo." he muttered and ate another chip. 

______

"i know we are all freaking out about what is going to happen in a matter of hours…but is there seriously a rubber duck in eiji's bathroom?" 

yut lung wanted to roll his eyes harder than ever and scream to shorter if he could shut the hell up because this was not the time. 

"stop interrupting me, shorter!" ash yelled and yut lung cursed in his mind for forgetting to bring his earphones. 

but he was still on eiji's house, eiji's bathroom and it was already weird he was taking so long for going to the bathroom. 

seeing the problem ash lynx callenreese was having, it was going to take a while for this group call to finish. 

"okay, okay. so what do you want us to do? i can sneak out of chang dai and get my beautiful ass hit by nadia so that you're not alone while you serenate your darling." shorter planned with his very known smirk. 

ash sighed. "no. i know how important today is for nadia and the restaurant, i can't let you not be there." 

"yeah, you kind of choose the worst day to serenate eiji." yut lung said thoughtfully. "he and i were procrastinating but we have to finish his physics work." 

ash pouted and yut lung thought that was the most disgusting thing he has ever seen. "i could have helped him with that." 

yut lung rolled his eyes. "he doesn't want you to, and i quote _'think i'm dumb and regret liking me'." _

ash giggled at that. so did shorter. 

"ah man, you two are quite the pair." shorter said. "so what are you going to do?" 

ash took times to respond. time yut lung didn't have so he groaned. 

"shorter, when is your free time?" 

"at like, four? i think? nadia will only give me forty-five minutes though." 

"at four twenty both of you have to be here. it's like ten minutes from chang dai to eiji's house so you'll need to run, fast. prepare your gig and whatever you need outside of eiji's house. i'll try to make sure he, nor hiromi or his mom is looking at the windows. play only one song, ash says his vows or whatever so shorter can leave at around four thirty five and then go back to chang dai. sounds like a plan?"

both ash and shorter only stared at yut lung with ugly wide eyes. 

"what the f-" 

"okay but what about alex? we need him." ash said. "but he told he had work and he already has too many absences to not go today." 

"leave that to me. i will persuade him." shorter said with a wink. 

"what are you going to do without acting like a middle schooler girl with a crush?" yut lung grinned. 

"nothing you can prove! see you in two hours!" he said and hang up. 

now yut lung had to only see ash's nervous face. he looked so bad, yut lung didn't get how in the world he ended up there. 

"what are you doing?" he asked interrupting whatever the hell was happening inside in ash lynx callenreese mind. 

"thinking." 

yut lung groaned hard, oh how much he wanted to hit the dumbass blonde in the head. 

"if you think that with only sitting, over thinking shit, is going to take you to be eiji's boyfriend, you're so wrong." 

that seemed to snap something in ash's mind, noticing the way he stared at yut lung with fire in his eyes. 

so yut lung smirked, "so, you'll do it or what?" 

the blonde smirked back, a little weaker but yut lung was not going to beg and that was enough. he remembered in that moment there reason why he choose ash to be the one to help him with the whole akira situation. 

for that determined smirk. it was something both ash and him had on common. yut lung wondered it wouldn't be that bad to be friends with him. 

"see you at four." ash said and ended the call. 

yut lung stand up and returned to eiji's room, where the latter was hanging with his feet touching the wall, his phone in his hands and no physics notebook near. the bastard. 

"you took so long i got bored." eiji said without taking his eyes off of his phone. 

"bored my ass, grab your notebook and keep doing your problems or…" 

eiji turned around, with a cheeky smile and light in his eyes. "or what?" 

"i'll show ash your grades." 

it actually wasn't that bad but yut lung knew how embarrassed eiji was about it. 

and the way his already big question got wider and wider was just so adorable and funny for yut lung, not so many things can do that. 

"you wouldn't do it!" 

"i won't if you finish these problems before four." 

eiji furrowed his brows."what? why? what's happening at four?" 

"nothing if you don't finish these first." 

"yut-luuuung!" 

"eeeeiji!" 

they both laughed at each other and yut lung satisfaction down next to his best friend. 

"you know if ash lynx hurts you, i'm going to rip his face off." 

eiji giggled. "you forgot saying bitch." 

"not only that, i will send him to the arctic or a small town in fucking…middle of nowhere and we will never see him again." 

"but i would want to see him again." the little bitch that was eiji whined. 

"not if he hurts you." 

"ash is very sweet, i really hope he doesn't." the last part he said it so faintly, yut lung felt horrible remembering how only on monday eiji got his heart broken. 

"like i said, i'll send him to the arctic if he even thinks about it." 

"and that's why you're my best friend." 

yut lung put his head on eiji's shoulder and contemplated dying or saying what he has been thinking about for a while now. only after ash and shorter where the ones who told him. 

"eiji." 

"yeah?" 

fucking eiji, fucking feelings, fucking trying to be a good friend- "i know im pretty shitty at saying you comfort stuff, but i'm really proud of you, i truly am." 

eiji didn't seem to hesitate and hugged yut lung. 

"oh yue!" he said very cutely, now the was the reasons everyone fell in love with this bambi eyes bastard. 

"i'm proud of you too, you're my best friend, yue. no one and nothing will ever change it." 

yut lung felt like a little kid for saying the next but he just had to ask…

"not even ash?" 

eiji chuckled and hugged him again. 

"not even aslan." 

that's good. that was good. as long as yut lung can get hugged like this once in a while, he doesn't care if eiji and ash starts dating. 

he will always be eiji's best friend, even eiji confirmed his doubts that not even ash idiot lynx will change it. 

he smiled a little, something yut lung rarely does and hates but he couldn't help it! besides he was hiding in eiji's chest so nobody saw it. 

"alright. let's get back to work." he said leaving from eiji embrace. 

"nooo…i don't want to." the little bitch whined. 

"alright let me start sending ash every-" 

eiji didn't let him finish, running to his notebook that was hiding in the other side of the room and returning in time record of three seconds. 

"let's just, fucking do this." eiji muttered. 

yut lung clapped proudly. "that's the spirit!" 

so they did those goddamn problems until four arrived. that it was probably one of the best days yut lung ever had with eiji was something no one needed to know. 

and when he received the message of ash saying they were ready, the moment everyone has been waiting for a while, well, it honestly made it better. 

______

shorter was leaning outside of the paintball place when alex finally arrived.

"you took your time." he said trying to sound confident. 

alex seemed confused as to why was shorter there but with the look on his face that changed he probably got the message. 

"ash send you here." 

"nop. i volunteered. so let's get straight to the point." not like shorter was straight but- "you're coming with me." 

alex chuckled. shorter hated how much that chuckle made him weak.

"i have work, shorter. something you probably should know about…didn't chang dai had the culinary exposition today?" 

"it starts at five, we have time." 

"i can't leave work. you already know how much i owe bones and kong for paying rent last month, and the month before that." 

"but you've been saving enough to pay them back! besides, the whole interview and things that happened last friday? you can get money with that! you don't need two jobs and college and band!" 

"yes, i do." 

"no, you don't! look at you! you honestly look like an old man right now! and not a hot one." 

alex smiled. "i used to look hot before?" 

shorter's head made short circuit and now he wanted to hit the old man to remove his sexy smile but both could play this game. 

"yes. but now you don't." 

alex sighed. "you know i need the money, shorter. money i could but i'm not getting with the band." 

shorter winced a little at that. "is that why? because of the band?" 

alex didn't respond him. "let's go inside." 

"no! let's talk right now. what's going on? you want to leave the band?" 

"no!" 

"then what, alex? is it because of how we're still not getting signed? or a fucking world tour or some shit like that?" 

"it's because i already waste so much time, shorter! time i could have used finishing college and getting a stable job but didn't want to give up on my dream of being part of a band." 

"you don't have to give up on your dream." shorter whispered so not like him it surprised both. but his heart hurt because he didn't knew how much alex was affected with this. 

"i have to if next month passes and still not have enough money." 

"and is that what you want?" 

alex stared at him. "what?" 

"is that the only thing you want? the money? the stable job? the degree on communication and digital media?" 

"no!" 

"the what do you want?" shorter yelled and could feel others eyes besides alex's looking at him. 

"i want to be a musician! i want-i want to write songs and make drum beats. i want to travel the world in a smelly ass van. i want to play gigs every night and not worry about fucking rent. i want…i want…"

"yeah? what else do you want?" 

alex grabbed shorter's hand and for a second he felt like heaven. 

"i want to take you on a proper date, where i don't have to worry if my clothes don't look nice or if i can't afford a good restaurant because i know you have high taste in food." 

shorter breath stopped for a second. 

"what the fuck alex." was all he could whisper because _what the fuck alex. _

alex just smiled, the fucking old man. "i have wanted to say that for a while." 

"fuck off." shorter coughed. 

"i like you too." 

they stand like that for what felt like the best hours in shorter's mind but was only two minutes. 

alex's boss came out with rage in his eyes and started yelling about punctuality and how even if there wasn't any clients at the time, alex had to be in his place.

"i quit." was alex unique response. shorter knew that's why he liked him that much. 

the actual old man just stared at him with disgust and looked at shorter very mad, very angry. 

shorter just smiled sweetly. 

"don't you think he will be able to pay for whatever shit you want. poor kids like him will always be poor, not even a naive dream like being a worldwide known musician will help him." 

alex was about to reply but shorter was faster. "thank god i don't care about money and that our dream is not just a fantasy but something we have been working hard for so long that men like you, the ones that think that dreams are naive, won't stop us, at all." he smiled again, adoring the way the man got so angry. "have a good day." 

they both left the place, hand in hand, shorter felt like a daydream a lot more when alex looked at him with a fond smile. 

"so…what next?" 

shorter looked at the hour and sent a message to ash. 

"your place for all the things." 

"what things?" alex asked. 

"we're gonna, well, ash, is going to serenade eiji remember?" 

"oh right." 

"oh right." shorter mocked trying to make alex smile. 

which wasn't hard, the dude grinned and held his and shorter's hands tighter. 

was this the feeling ash and eiji had when they held hands? the whole, feeling like nothing in the world is more important than the person next to? feeling butterflies that want you to vomit because of how sappy you're starting to act? because of one bastard that caught your eye and is now holding your hand? if so, then fuck ash, fuck eiji and fuck alex. 

and with the constant looks alex gave him the whole ride to his house to grab the instruments, to ash and griffin's place to pick up his best friend and the whole walk to eiji's place so they could do the goddamn serenade. shorter wondered if alex also thought this feeling of holding the other's hand was pretty cool. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah... that was quite the break but I would never allow myself to not finish this story. thanks for the ones who'll read this I don't know what else to say, thank you so much for reading


	13. i carry your heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sweeter finale.

eiji was working through the fifth physics problem when hiromi opened his bedroom door and started yelling incoherently japanese.

it was a surprise both him and yut lung understood at least three words. 

"ash is here." she said with a toothless grin and for a couple of seconds eiji didn't get it. 

until he did, and looked at yut lung who was smiling so softly it was so confusing. but neither say anything, just sprinted towards the balcony where eiji received the biggest surprise of his life. 

those jade eyes he grew to really like were staring back at him, with a pearl like smile, eiji couldn't help but sigh dreamily at the sight of aslan there. 

but then just realized, aslan was here. 

"what are you doing here?" 

"good evening to you too, darling." aslan said with his too nicely voice, eiji was honestly a weak man. "what do you think am i here for?" 

eiji actually felt his brain was about to burnout because of physics but tried the effort to look anything else that wasn't aslan and just noticed shorter and alex were also here. 

with their instruments. 

eiji was so stupid for just discovering what was aslan in his home, on a sunday evening, with his band, in eiji's backyard. 

"don't you even d-" 

"i won the bet! this song is for you!" aslan interrupted him and a very old but good old guitar melody started. 

there are a lot of things eiji has never seen coming, but listening to aslan sing you belong to me by taylor swift is definitely the one that took eiji breath away because what the actual fuck. 

he just stared, very loving and amazed at the way not only aslan but shorter and alex played their heart out, how the lyrics of the song touched his heart like no others, probably because aslan, the boy he liked, was singing to him, to eiji, and eiji thought it was so beautiful he wanted to cry but also hug aslan and never let him go. 

eiji just started dancing with yut lung and hiromi who never left his side and seemed to be even more excited about this than eiji. 

_"i told you he's the one!"_ hiromi said in japanese and eiji heart fluttered at that. 

he really didn't want to jump into conclusions but god, aslan did feel like the right one, or at least someone who wouldn't shatter his heart like akira did. he could only hope that would be the case. 

even though aslan was literally playing a love song for him, in his backyard, it felt like being in a movie that eiji had to wake up one day. but it was real and he didn't want this moment to finish at all. 

it only lasted four minutes, probably the best four minutes in eiji's entire life. 

"so…what do you think?" aslan said a little out of breath but his smile never fading. 

eiji wanted to take a picture of the sight, it would be a lot better than the thousand sunset pictures he had ever taken. 

"it was amazing. you are amazing." 

ash's out of this world smiled appeared and eiji felt his cheeks so much warmer, he bit his lip trying to contain a scream that wanted to erupt because of aslan. 

"i didn't think you would remember, the bet i mean." he said thinking about the night they spent talking for so long. 

"of course i did. i promised you i would play a song for you, a taylor swift song, for you." 

eiji giggled at that. of course it was going to be a taylor swift song of course. 

"ah, i just didn't expect you would keep talking to me, i told you i was annoying." 

aslan eyebrows furrowed. "and i told you i didn't mind, i like when you talk, especially when you rant about…anything." 

"you'll regret saying that. i will definitely tire you out by next week." 

"it's going to take a lot more for me even thinking to stop talking to you." 

eiji was about to respond but yut lung groaned, loud. 

"ash are you going to ask him for somebody's sake or you'll keep pinning until your death?" 

"yeah, dude, it's cute and all but we have places to be." shorter agreed. 

"didn't alex just quit his job?" aslan asked. 

"you quit your job?!" both eiji and yut lung yelled. 

alex just smile awkwardly, tossing his drumsticks and not keeping eye contact with anyone. 

"eh, yeah?" 

"the point is!...i have work to do, so…ash… do your thing." 

aslan groaned like a kitten which was adorable and looked at eiji, glow in his eyes, eiji snapped a picture with his mind and forced his brain to never forget this look on aslan, it was the best thing in earth. 

eiji was in so deep of compliments for ash in his head, thinking if he should start writing a book about how aslan was the prettiest person when the question everyone seemed to know but him was asked. 

and wow did it made eiji's brain electrocute.

"w-what?"

"do you want to go out on a date? with me?" aslan asked. 

eiji's heart started beating, fast. 

it was stupid, both of them confessed each other's feelings yesterday, but the butterflies were still there, fluttering, and eiji wondered if they would ever stop. the feeling was nice though. 

"n-now?" 

"u-uh well, yeah? if you're available?" 

eiji snorted. "of course-" 

"you haven't finished your physics problems." yut lung reminded him. 

"i could do them later?" 

"but you still don't understand them." 

"i mean, no but-" 

"ash here, if he really wants you to go out with him on a date, will help you with them, right, aslan?" 

eiji forgot how much of a bitch yut lung could be. 

"i told you i didn't want aslan to know how bad i am doing at school." eiji whispered, red in embarrassment and not even trying to look at the blonde reason of all of his blessings and problems. 

"eiji, we all know that you suck in physics and anything that makes you think about numbers, don't worry." yut lung said with a cheeky smile. 

bastard, eiji thought and looked at aslan's pretty jade eyes. 

"can you help me?" 

aslan smiled. "will you go out on a date with me?" 

"yes, i will." eiji said and he truly meant it. 

"then of course i will help you with your physics homework. besides, i feel the need to remind you that i really really really like you so it's a pleasure to help you in anything you need help and also i can keep playing you songs you like for the rest of the day, what do you think? "

eiji pouted and wanted to throw himself to aslan and never leave his arms. "you are too sweet for me, aslan." 

aslan, of course, grinned and managed, like always, make eiji blush like a rose. 

"you're sweeter, darling." 

______

ash tried his best, he really did, but teaching eiji physics was hard work. 

hard work. 

"i give up, i definitely give up." eiji said for the third time in ten minutes. 

"no, you won't. try again." 

"why can't you just, answer it for me?" 

ash laughed. "im not doing your physics homework, besides, don't we have exams like, in two weeks?" 

eiji groaned like a baby bear which ash found endearing. "do not remind me of that, im definitely failing." 

"you won't if you stop sulking and start doing!" ash said trying to sound optimistic. 

"but it is so haaard!" 

"c'mon, let's do this one together and then you finish the rest alone." 

"i have three left! it's a lot." eiji sad resigned. 

"how did yut lung helped you all this time?" 

"he got desperate in a minute and just did them by himself." 

that sounded like something yut lung would only do for eiji. "and you wonder why are you so bad." 

eiji just rolled his eyes. "let's just, finish this so we can continue with the date." 

ash's eyes grew wider at the reminder. 

eiji's smirk appeared at the sight. 

"you forgot?" 

"i did not!" 

"hmm…"

"i didn't!" 

"sure, aslan dear." 

ash's cheeks got rosy and ash felt stupid. "shut up." 

eiji giggled and that made ash felt better. yeah, maybe eiji was pretty bad at physics but besides that the day was going smoothly. 

______

"..." 

"..." 

"...just, oh my god give that to me." ash said taking eiji's physics notebook on his hand and finishing the last problem alone. 

eiji simply smiled and kissed his cheek. 

"thank you, aslan dear." 

ash was trying so hard not to faint at this point. 

"aha." was all he could say back. 

______

"you know, i never thought this would happen, in a million years." 

eiji stared at ash's side profile, he was still light during the night and it was completely beautiful, way beyond eiji has ever imagined. he knew aslan was gorgeous but this…he would never forget this. 

he held ash's hand tighter and kissed its knuckles. 

"it's happening, that's what matters." 

ash smiled at that. "i guess the feeling that this would probably end will always be there." 

eiji nodded. he understood completely. and he needed aslan to know that. 

"i know, i get it, yes? i know the feeling so well. sometimes I wonder where are we going, but i don't think it matters. i'm with you, right here, right now, you're important to me, aslan. i promise that i won't leave, unless you want me to, other than that, prepare yourself, sweet, i will stay."

aslan seemed a little lost for words, eiji could even see the little blush on his cheeks but it was eiji who lost it with what aslan said next:

_"here is the deepest secret nobody knows, here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud, and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart…"_

eiji stared at him expectantly, looking now through the doors that were those jade eyes, those angelic eyes that showed him what no one else could see, what aslan trusted him to know, to see, to listen. 

_"i carry your heart, in my heart."_

it wasn't a surprise the two of them felt teardrops on their face, because they both understood and cared for the other so well. 

"aslan?" 

"yeah?" 

"is it too soon to say i love you? ir should I wait another week?" 

ash actually laughed at that and kissed the teardrop falling from eiji's right eye. 

"eiji i've loved you from the day i talked to you, and that was a week ago." 

they both laughed and hugged so close. 

"we're crazy, you're crazy, i'm crazy!" eiji said giggling and hiding on aslan's neck. 

"no, no crazy, just in love, darling." 

eiji just looked at the guy who won his heart in days, it was probably stupidity, it was probably his teenage self, it was probably just because he was young and dumb. but he really didn't want to let aslan go. 

eiji could only look at him like aslan looked at him, tender and pure love was all they felt and it was at that moment, where the sky was shining so bright and the night didn't feel scary, not at all, when both got closer and closer so close their noses was touching each other and their breathing was dancing. it was then when jade eyes and brown eyes looked at each other with such trust, they grew warmer and eiji couldn't help it, he just had to. 

he kissed aslan. 

it was probably the best kiss they ever had. 

they stayed like that for a few seconds and then opened their eyes at the same time. eiji couldn't deny he was a little embarrassed for just going for it, he was about to say something like sorry when aslan grabbed him by his cheeks and kissed him again. 

since the first time they met, eiji knew deep down this was different. and he wasn't wrong. each second, minute, hour and day he had the chance to spend with aslan were the best times. he didn't know he could care for someone so soon so rapidly so much. it was so different than akira, who he thought was the one, but then he met aslan. 

and deciding to talk to him on that class on a so normal wednesday, it was the best choice he ever made. 

aslan was everything. he has been so sweet from a start, he is smart and courageous, he's so random but harmonious in a wonderful way, he's so beautiful, too beautiful and he listens, he truly listens and he cares about him, he sings and says poems out of nowhere, he is a romantic. he is everything eiji ever wanted. and that was too unbelievable. 

but he was here, here with eiji, here where they could be on a safe place with each other. where they could be vulnerable and it was okay because the other was there and the stars were protecting them. it was magical. 

in that moment eiji promised himself that he would take care of aslan, it was at that moment when aslan promised to take care of eiji. even if they both were seventeen and still had a long way to go and didn't told the other their promise. when they looked at each other for the rest of the night where only warm and love was welcome they knew they were going to be alright, they knew it would get better. because they had each other.

the rest of the days they would spent it with each other, the good ones and the bad ones, it was a promise to their hearts. they would stay with each other and their love will only grow sweeter. 

"i love you, aslan." 

"i love you, eiji." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fin.
> 
> god, that really took ages to finish i am not proud of taking this long but at least it's done. I cannot explain how grateful I feel for everyone who read, voted, commented for this story. it means the world to me and fucking kudos to anyone who reads this. I love you all take care of yourselves and that's a wrap! thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!!!


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